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Should I move away and cut off my family?
Family & Parenting / 2:52 AM - Thursday February 10, 2011

Should I move away and cut off my family?

It doesn't mean I don't love them, I just really would like to never talk to them again. I guess it's mostly my Mom, she's become so irritable and yells all the time over nothing and my Dad just goes along with it. Moving back home after college was a horrible decision but just reminded me why I needed to go to school 300 miles away. I'm hoping to be able to move away to another state within a year, and when I do I will probably cut off most if not all communication with my family. It sucks because they've always been good to me, but there is always so much tension in the house and I think it would be better if we went our separate ways. I would miss my Dad though...

It's always been easy for me to just cut people out of my life, I can just leave and never be heard from again. I've done it many times. I've felt like this for a long, long time but I've never been able to do it financially until recently. I think that if I want to keep the relationship with my family civil I really need to start fresh somewhere else and not have them in my life. Is it bad that I just want to move as far away as possible and disappear?

- Asked by A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 26-28

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Don't cut them out of your life, MOVE OUT! Your too old to be living at home, get your own crib bro & you can visit them when you want to. It was the same for me when I was your age. I moved back home after college after being independent (kinda) for 4 years... Moving home under the parents rule just doesn't work after that sometimes. Be cool to them, you will need them again. They understand that you need your own space, they have been through the same thing as you and me and everyone else. Keep them in your life... like I said earlier, you'll be needing them again; not only for financial issues but advise and sometimes a shoulder to cry on. Good luck, and be good to your family, while your enjoying your independence.

- Response by sluggo, A Rebel, Male, 46-55, Denver

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please dont do this ... you know blood is really thicker than water and there will be times in your life when you need your family. by all means move to a different state and dont see them often but dont cut them off, that is not the right thing to do. you know the old saying "you cant pick your family ..." well you were born into this family for a reason. your place in the family is important and has consequences, as you get older you will learn to understand more about yourself, your parents and your family dynamic. if you think about this in the wider scale of things what happens when you marry, when you have a family. what will your future partner think of you cutting off your family, and what will her family think of that too. it would no doubt paint you as someone who is either emotionally challenged or emotionally damaged having come from such an awful family that you had to cut them off. and yet you say some nice things about your family. they always been good to you? so why do this? i am very sorry they dont live up to your expectations and they have limitations for you, i think after college moving back home is always difficult after such independance. I think your feelings may stem from this lack of independance and your parents generally annoying it. parents annoy all their children all the world over. they still love you! please dont abandon them ... they NEED YOU

- Response by A Life of the Party, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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"Is it bad that I just want to move as far away as possible and disappear? "

Yes it is bad. It is also selfish and self centered.

The easy thing is ALWAYS to run. Learning how to deal with the issues life throws you way, is the adult thing to do.

If you do not learn discipline and how to handle responsibility, you will never be a happy or successful person.

You cannot just bail on a situation that doesn't feel perfect. Grow up and learn to face your obsticles and challenges. Otherwise, this will be only the first of many RUN AND HIDE espisodes in your life.

Good things in life do not come easy. You must embrace that fact and learn from it.

- Response by randyl, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Technical

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If you want to move away, that's fine, but to cut them off completely might be a decision you would regret later on esp if something happens to them (God forbid) and you find out when it's too late.

Just always remember that your parents are people too who have feelings and emotions. Your Mom may be irritable for some reason which you may not understand but that doesn't mean that she loves you less esp if you say that "they've always been good to me". If they raised you up well and even sent you to college just so you can have a good future, is that not reason enough for you to be thankful? How would you feel if your future children does the same thing to you someday? What goes around, comes around.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Miami

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I wouldn't cut them out of your life.

I've always said that I love my family... from a distance.

Move out, move away but keep in contact and you will see your relationship improve over time. You never know when they will need your help, or you will need their help. Just because you can easily cut people out of your life, doesn't mean that you should.

When I moved out, my relationship with my family completely changed for the better.

- Response by A Creative, Male, 29-35

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Once you have had freedom living on your own after college life, it is difficult to return home. You are an adult now and you will have a better relationship with your parents when you live on your own and visit. Don't end it by cutting them out as parents will be a great part of your life when you get married and have children. Move out and give it time. Rosey

- Response by roseytalks, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Tampa, Who Cares?

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