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My girlfriend expects me to pay her bills even when she has 4 kids by another guy.What should I do?
Dating / 10:45 AM - Wednesday January 26, 2011

My girlfriend expects me to pay her bills even when she has 4 kids by another guy.What should I do?

My girlfriend has 4 kids by another guy, that has left her.He is not paying any money for these kids.My girlfriend and 4 kids and her ex partner all live in the Philippines,where this seems to be normal behaviour.I am from the UK and met her online in a chat room.We have been together for 3 1/2 years, but she has always expected me to pay her bills,about $1,000 per month, which is now a total of about $40,000 that I have paid to her.I lost my job 3 months ago and I am finding it so difficult to even pay my own bills, let alone hers.She will not get a job to pay her own bills and expects me to still pay her bills.I have tried to explain to her that I have financial problems of my own, but she still refuses to try and get a job and continually asks me for money.Please give me advice as to what I can do in this situation.Thank you so much.

- Asked by romeo987, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, London

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Told you the other day, you need to dump her, she's using you.

- Response by rexy67, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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Community Rating: Community Star

You are being used.
Sit her down and let her know that you no longer have any money. Period. She needs to get a job, AND get child support. It seems that she knows you will pay for her and those kids.


- Response by roaminginsomniac, An Alternative Girl, Female, 46-55, Law Enforcement

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there isn't a woman I can recall on this site that has ever admitted she's after the money, so why should yours?

- Response by A Career Man, Male, 46-55, New York, Who Cares?

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How many times are you going to ask this? Maybe you're trying for an answer you like???

There's only one answer, dude, and we've given it to you multiple times: She's using you, you're *letting* her use you, and there's nothing you can do to stop this unless you grow a pair and quit being a sucker.

- Response by justpassingthru, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Financial / Banking

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Dude, the person you sent your money to isn't who you think.
It was ME! Muwahhahahha!

- Response by chesterdad, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, San Francisco

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I'll pretend to be your hot girlfriend via email in the Philippines for $500 a month. Me love you long time, cheap.

- Response by A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55, Technical

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PS. Back off chesterdad, he's mine. I work this corner!

- Response by A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55, Technical

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You should refuse to pay for another man's children.

A woman with a gang of kids is a Saturday night bang, not a partner. She's after your money.

Note that male lions kill the cubs of other males when taking over the females. So do some apes, wolves, etc. Some other man's spawn is a drag on your life.


- Response by greenwind, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Construction

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If you were living in the same house together and didn't have the money to pay bills, what would you say? You would say, I'm sorry, I don't have the money.

Keep repeating that to her until she believes you. If she stays with you anyway, you will know you were doing the right thing. If she disappears, you will know you've been taken advantage of.

- Response by maryea, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, New York, Retired

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Aw come on guys this man obviously has some insecurity issues and doesn't want to let go of a relationship he's built himself on oh and invested quite a bit in dude I think everyone on here is mostly right she's using you straight up you can choose to acknowledge this or ignore it and carry on but your better then that as nice and giving as you seem to be don't you think that would be better used on a real relationship ah I don't believe your stupid just that you are being stupid

- Response by A Rebel, Male, 22-25

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What are you, nuts?? You can't see what's going on here and simply say no?

Here's an idea. Tell her you can't pay her bills anymore because you're paying mine instead. I'll let you know where to wire the money, okay?

*smh*

- Response by piscesrising, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Boston, Internet / New Media

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Are you saying she lives in the phillipines? "My girlfriend and 4 kids and her ex partner all live in the phillipines"
If that really IS the case......sorry bud, that would make you the sap of the century....please sayi it isn't so!!!!! She lives in London too, right?

- Response by epiphanomaly, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Philadelphia, Self-Employed

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You need to grow a pair. She's using you. How do you even know she's divorced?

If you really want to wire someone money, I'll gladly forward my information to you..

- Response by maemae97, A Life of the Party, Female, 29-35, Student

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