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Will he chose me over his girlfriend?
Dating / 2:20 AM - Friday January 14, 2011

Will he chose me over his girlfriend?

I have been seeing this guy for over a year. The entire time he has had a girlfriend. He is constantly calling and texting me and wanting to hang out. Him and I have been intimate and basically had our own relationship while he was with his girlfriend. the reason I allowed for this to go on so long is because I was personally still healing from a previous relationship. I am now ready and wanting to be in a committed and honest relationship. I brought this to his attention and he told me he didn't know who to choose. Obviously he has kind of already chosen by officially being with her. I want him to chose me. He tells me that I make him happy and he makes me happier than ever. What can i do to get him to choose me? Should I even want to be in a relationship with him?

- Asked by lovelost89, A Player, Female, 22-25, Student

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While there are exceptions to everything, I do not think your situation is one of them.

This can be viewed just as if HE WERE MARRIED. He has been in a long term relationship with this other girl and given this relationship A LABEL.

He has been sleeping around on the side with you. Not because he likes you any more than her, but most likely just BECAUSE HE CAN.

I do not see him leaving his girlfriend. Nothing has changed in this picture, other than you telling him you want him to yourself. I have a strong feeling, you have told him that before.

Regardless, he HAS made his choice and unfortunately it is not you.

Next time you go trolling, pick out someone that is not already spoken for. The person that gets hurt, is almost ALWAYS the other woman.

- Response by randyl, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Los Angeles, Technical

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Been there,and you can end up being a rebound or someone that fills in the parts he doesnt like about his current gf.

- Response by differt33, A Rebel, Male, 36-45, Self-Employed

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The question u should be asking here is if he is the guy you really want. If he can do such thing now, he can do it to u. The reason why he was with u is because he didn't think u'd be serious and demand him to choose but now that u do, his don't know has already answered u. If u were so right for him, hen he would have broken up with his gf a year ago but he didn't. U said u r ready for a serious relationship, bit I don't see he is in the same page as u from the vey beginning, else why would he do such a thing for a yr and has no remorse on what he did. Healing urself doesn't mean u have to hurt other ppl (his gf) intentionally or unintentionally, put urself to that position... You still think he is the right guy for u both? Think again or else u r goin to set up urself for another healing.

- Response by A Creative, Female, 29-35, Auckland

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I think he's made his choice. Now that you feel ready to have a real relationship it's time for you to move on & find someone who does choose you. Time to accept this for what it was & that is was meant only to be temporary to help you get through. Besides if he can cheat with you, he could cheat on you. Knowing what he is capable of should show you he's not really worth having with the new kind of relationship you seek. You deserve better.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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I think this guy is smiling inside.He is absolutely loving this. He has played around with two ladies and he has the power to choose who he wants. If he wanted you, he would have had you a long time ago - but only kept you as a secret...which I personally think is not cool.

I think you need to find someone that has more respect for you.





- Response by wwwwww8888, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 26-28, Sydney, Teaching

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Just say no to being a ho.

Why would you want to be sancha when you can have your OWN man all to yourself?

- Response by llafsroh, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Boston, Science / Engineering

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yes, he HAS made his decision because he has always been with her and he is still with her. he might be seeing you as well, but there is a reason he is still with her.
sure, he loves hanging out with you as well, why wouldn't he? he is getting it ALL

if you really like this guy and want more, you will have to make him decide now, or else you will never be happy.
I am not saying it is ok to date a man that is already taken but if you are, and it works for you, then fine. but you have to realize that he will likely not leave her for you. it has been a year already. and the fact that he said "he doesn't know who to choose" tells me that he isn't that crazy about you. if he was, there would be no choice to make, he'd dump that other girl and be with you.

you should really move on, so you can be happy with someone that is all yours!

- Response by fondacox, A Trendsetter, Female, 36-45

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I swear i need to smack some of you people. okay first off never date anyone in a relationship. the reason why is because you will be nothing more then there booty call. Also there is the fact they wont leave who they are with for you. Do yourself a favor and stop sleeping with him. you don't want a guy who cheats. If he cheated on her he will cheat on you.

- Response by tonilyz, A Guy Critical, Male, 22-25, Milwaukee, Student

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He will surely choose his girlfriend - it is just so obvious. You can't accept it because it hurts. Try to think in this way - he might use you for fun, but you used him for overcoming the pain from previous relationship. Quite fair to each other. As you said, you are ready to move on - So move on to find someone who can give you a serious relationship, not this one.

- Response by sanyalove, A Sportif, Female, 36-45, Sydney, Financial / Banking

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Being dat he have a gf...ur settling for 2nd..&2 place dnt win no prize..we as women need to respect each other & respect other pep relationship..if he cheatin on her..he's
mos def gonna do the same to u..make better decisions

- Response by jescake, A Thinker, Female, 22-25

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Being dat he have a gf...ur settling for 2nd..&2 place dnt win no prize..we as women need to respect each other & respect other pep relationship..if he cheatin on her..he's
mos def gonna do the same to u..make better decisions

- Response by jescake, A Thinker, Female, 22-25

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I am sorry to say this but... he will probably stay with her. Why would he give you the respect of a committed relationship now when he had you without one? If he cheated with you, what makes you think he wont cheat on you. He girlfriend is probably great to him and he is cheating with you. This is usually how it goes.

- Response by thicallover, A Career Woman, Female, 29-35, New York, Administrative

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Coka Cola teeny bop commercial here we go...WEEEEe Mentos with a twist...

- Response by diglebe2, A Guy Critical, Male, 36-45, Self-Employed

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