Hi Married Guy
Oh boy, huh! Ok, I know you feel upset at the cold shoulder response your wife is giving you. You're wondering where the woman you married went, the one that made you sooo happy that you couldn't wait to get home to play with her. Right?
Well, if you think about it, her cold shoulder to sex with you was not abrupt. If you were paying attention, you noticed it kinda crept up on you ever so slowly. It may have started with her saying she had a "headache" or that she was "tired" or did not "feel well"or that she had "a million things to do" and you were OK with it, at first! But then you began to notice she did not touch you as much; that she was not acting the same when you started to initiate romance. She may even have made it clear either verbally or through gestures that she no longer wanted to be touched by you in that way.
Women don't have to spell it out to men because we get that "Gut Feeling" that something is wrong. Unfortunately, our gut feeling is correct, but not wanting to have sex with you is only a symptom of the real problem underneath. When a woman no longer wants to have carnal pleasure with her husband, it is a sign that her interest level in him has dropped and is slipping slowly south.
Think of interest level a fuel gauge on a car. When a woman's interest level in on "Full", she's all over you, she has that twinkle in her, she laughs at your jokes, she can't wait to have you home to jump your bones. As the needle on a woman's interest level gauge drops to the ¾ mark, so does her behavior toward you. At this point, she doesn't touch you as much, she's not laughing at you jokes as much, and you have to touch her for her to touch you back. This is when you start feeling something is quite not right. At half a tank, the "headaches" start and she begins to not want to have sex has much or at all.
Unfortunately, the woman really does not know why she is feeling this way. She is actually engaged in an inner struggle. She knows she should be feeling desire and having sex with you, but she can't get herself to do it. This is why when you asked her about it, she could not give you a satisfactory answer. But I don't think your wife is having an affair. Affairs on the woman's part are rare. If an affair where to happen, it would occur at ¼ of a tank level. At this point, more likely, she begins to contemplate leaving the relationship by either separation or that nasty "D" word-Divorce.
What you have to do is stop the downward spiral of your wife's interest level. You have to pull back on what you're doing. Don't bring up the sex topic again. Remember it has not helped in anyway. Hold back your desire to touch her, cuddle, kiss, or anything physical. Don't get angry with her and show no emotions on the lack of sex. Make sure you put on a happy face around her even if it's tearing you up inside. Arguing on this topic will not help. Also, make sure you do your share of the housework. She should eventually come around. But if she doesn't, you will have to decide if you can live with this or not. Ultimately, this choice is yours.
I wish all the luck. : )
- Response by falling
, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Los Angeles, Teaching