|Family & Parenting / 12:55 AM - Monday January 10, 2011|
Do most parents allow their adult children to move back home?
My significent other insists most parents allow their grown kids to move back home indefinitely no questions asked and have an open door policy. Not in my world. He says I'm wrong. We are planning to get married and he wants me to move in with him. I have young children, and we both have pets. We don't have a lot of money or much room. So I'm not talking about parents with huge homes and big incomes. And his son is a college graduate who is almost 30 years old, and it's not an emergency situation. He has other options, but his dad will allow him to live with him/us rent free without contributing anything (not even chores) to the household. He has done it before. I am not comfortable starting a new marriage with another grown man living in the house, and his son is often rude to all of us, and is intolerant about the younger kids and pets, causing a lot of turmoil. I have always been told that at age 18 or after college graduation, the kids should find their own way. My oldest had to share the rent with 3 roomies for a time, but never moved back home after college. I don't know a lot of people, so my S/O insists I don't know what I'm talking about, and says most parents would allow their kids to return anytime without expecting anything in return, because that's what parents do. I don't really think that's particularly good for either the grown kids or the parents, unless there is extreme need. Then I can understand making an exception. And I do understand how sometimes living with extended family works out well for everyone, but this is not that type of case. This would only benefit one person. Am I being unreasonable or is he?
- Asked by Female, 56-65