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Active Questions

I work with horrible women that I have a hunch are spreading malicious rumors about me?
Career / 1:24 PM - Wednesday January 05, 2011

I work with horrible women that I have a hunch are spreading malicious rumors about me?

I have a hunch women at work are spreading harmful rumors about me. Should I confront them and risk looking crazy if they all deny it or keep quiet if no one has confirmed my hunch?

- Asked by sexyexotica, A Sportif, Female, 29-35, Other Profession

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Don't go down to their juvenille level with that unless it has interfered with your job. Who cares what people think of you at work?? I don't care what they think of me.

- Response by debski, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, Detroit, Science / Engineering

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Like you suggested yourself, better to not look crazy, and just carry on as usual.

- Response by andrewj5267, A Guy Critical, Male, 36-45, Miami, Teaching

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Easy! Get yourself a shill....have them witness some of this crap, record it on a cellphone, and when you confront them with it.....they're screwed.....but so will you being banned from their clique.....decisions, decisions decisions.

- Response by epiphanomaly, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Philadelphia, Self-Employed

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it doesnt matter what any one says or thinks for you know the truth. just go about your day and dont be like them . i wouldnt even respond to people like that and show folks the kind of person i am . smile and a positive out look to help others and my self have a better day

- Response by superbussell, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Detroit, Artist / Musician / Writer

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You have a hunch? What's that?You mean like when Peter Falk would mysteriously know who did it by the end of Columbo?

Sure. Go right up to them and tell them your Indian Spirit Guide, told you that rumors were being spread.
Too bad your spirit guide wasn't kind enough to tell you WHAT the rumors were.

But that won't look crazy at all.
Because magic is real and women have "intuition". Which is a big word for magic.

- Response by llafsroh, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Boston, Science / Engineering

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I wouldn't confront them on a hunch. Wait or look for proof first.

- Response by melmac, A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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Hmm... Personally, I'd keep quiet until you have independent confirmation of something. There's no future in confronting anyone if you're not sure that the infraction has actually occurred. It just makes you look paranoid.

Good luck.

- Response by taichichuan, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Washington, DC, Consulting

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Speaking of crazy... Why would you confront them? To stir up shit? Wouldn't a sane response be to seek a transfer or look for employment elsewhere?

- Response by A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55, Technical

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Welcome to the world of work especially with women. I'm retired now and happy I don't have to put up with junk like this anymore. It may make matters worse for you if you confront them. I'm presently living with my husband and his nephew, I find living with guys easier to deal with than women. I'm sorry I don't have any more advice for you. I've been there & I'm glad it's behind me.

- Response by A Married Girl, Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

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Sounds like any office in america, sorry to say!! I know women talk about me behind my back where I work because some people have such pathetic lives that the only thing they have going for them is gossping about other people. luckily, my bosses don't listen to gossip and make their own opinions based on my work.

my question to you is if the rumors are not affecting your work, then ignore them. if it might affect your work, talk to your boss, not them, and say, you might have heard xyz rumors and I would like to address it andlet you know they are rumors and here's the truth.

the only people you 'owe' anything to is the people paying your checks. you 'owe' them good work and that's it. you don't owe anyone else any explanations.

- Response by ebm3, A Trendsetter, Female, 36-45, Self-Employed

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This is only your perception of them. It may be true, it may be untrue, but ask yourself, do you often suspect women of being jealous or catty? If so it may a pattern or belief you have formed that you continue to manifest time after time. Try and find a few good qualities about these women. Focus on their good qualities and you could all become friends, only to later realize they never said anything about you at all! One of my very best female friends told me that when we met she didn't like me. She said she thought 'skinny little bitch' or the like. The irony here is that from the start I liked her a lot and thought she liked me right back! Because I'm more oriented to believe I'm liked even if I'm not.

- Response by sweetmama247, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 29-35, Buffalo, Home Maker

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honey, if they dislike you, they will say all manner of evil about you.
chuck it up to experience and let it alone unless they can prove all the accusations.
if you wish, you could sue them for libel.
sure, they are going to deny the accusations against you.
do you think that they will tell the truth?

- Response by mobysdick, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Who Cares?

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My guess is that It's driven by it usually is. Ignore it and stay Professional

- Response by boxer1, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55, Self-Employed

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I wouldn't acknowledge it. Please know that when people are talking about you its because they are either envious or jealous. Confronting them is just going to make you seem like a bitch.

- Response by phenomenal1woman, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Chicago

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