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Why does my ex still want to have sex with me?
Sex & Intimacy / 11:49 AM - Tuesday January 04, 2011

Why does my ex still want to have sex with me?

I dated this guy back in my freshman year off high school and on and off until my junior year. He was a total douchebag. He would go days without calling me sometimes weeks only for me to find out later that he was with someone else. I finally broke things off with him in my junior year finally I woke up to his behavior. Over a period of time I learned to forgive him and became friends with him again on IM when i was about 19. Since than we became friends via instant messenger and that stopped for a period of time but than we always end up back in touch. He and I have never stopped having sex though in between our own break ups. I've also noticed a change in his behavior in terms of his maturity and taking things seriously by holding down a full time job for a couple of years now living on his own his mother no longer supporting him. But it seems that he tries to perfect him self more towards the guy I dated for the longest period of time and to whom i once expressed to him why I liked the guy so much. My ex tells me almost every chance he gets how he regrets ever doing me wrong and how he treated me now that he's experienced the pain I went through. My question is why has he and still does he want to have sex with me.?Please explain his actions overall

- Asked by A Creative, Female, 22-25, Administrative

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I think he is attracted to you because you are good looking and have a very good personality and your allround a good personb but all he wants is sex and i think he thinks your weak point is him and all he wants is to weaken this point even more to control you and his actions show this because when he always breaks off from you he thinks im making her weak poitn weaker so i can get to her .All he wants i snow when he keeps asking you to forgive him he just wants more off you sex wise and all he is actually doing is hurting you so dont go back to him and he wants to still have sex with you because he is obsessed with you and getting more from you sex wise and symapthy wise he probably thinks that every time he has sex with you he is gettin more off you.

- Response by loverduck1234, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Medical / Dental

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He is a guy. He wants to have sex. As long as you keep giving it up, he is going to keep taking it. Do not read more into it than sex. It is not a relationship. He does not want a relationship. If he did, he would tell you that instead of keeping you on speed dial as a booty call.

- Response by jess2481, A Life of the Party, Female, 36-45, Cincinnati, Other Profession

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It think you already explained it to yourself in your question. Even though you broke up for a period of time, you never really stopped seeing each other. You said you became friends "via IM," yet you admit to getting together and having sex. Basicaly, that means your "break-up" simply became a break with "seeing other people." You both keep coming back to each other when other relationships fall apart, and you've given him the opportunity to grow and become more the man that he sees you want in your life. You admit to seeing this but simply looking at him as an ex. Then, you tell us that he's apologized for treating you so poorly, and that you notice all these changes after the discussion about what you liked about your last long-term. He's trying to be the man you want in your life because he realized just how much he actually likes you and how well you seem to work together.

As for "Why does he still want to have sex with you?" That's easy: He's horny and knows you'll f*ck him. I'd focus less on the sex aspect and look at everything else about him to see why this even matters to you.

Hell, I could turn this around and make you be introspective: Why do you still want to have sex with your ex?

- Response by doom2ruler, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35, Technical

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Because you allow this to happen....you are his safety net....the "sure thing" he always has had to fall back on. You are enabling him to be this way.

- Response by lasttrueromantic, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Teaching

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Because having sex feels good and you're avaiable for it.

- Response by newnumbersguy32, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 36-45, Financial / Banking

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Sex is its own reason. Sex is a basic biological desire. Sex does not need, and usually does not have any other reason.

Why --> sex.


- Response by greenwind, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Construction

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