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Why has my girlfriend stopped wanting to kiss or hug me?
Dating / 1:38 AM - Tuesday December 07, 2010

Why has my girlfriend stopped wanting to kiss or hug me?

Me and my girlfriend have been dating for about a month and a half. She shy, and we moved things at her pace. Recently, however, she has stopped showing any obvious signs of affection. She has just told me she is used to being alone and having someone be romantically interested in her makes her feel uncomfortable. I mean, if you are uncomfortable, why give the impression that you want affection? She used to kiss and hug me all the time, and she's so cheerful when we are with people. But, when we are alone, she hardly even talks to me. And when we are with other people, she talks to them more than she talks to me. Am I doing something wrong?

Update: December 07, 2010.
Well, I talked to her, and she said it's because she's stressed and no one can help her. She said it would be best if she just dealt with it herself. When I asked her if that was a good reason to be pushing me away and ignoring me, she just shrugged.

- Asked by Male, 22-25

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Im thinking her interest in you is becomming less and less.

- Response by couchie666, A Thinker, Female, 26-28

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I am a bit suspicious of her actions....

Her pushing you away more and more, yet talking to your friends (with you present) more and more, tells me she is not "stressed." It tells me that she is seeing someone else and cannot bear to tell you, or she has another lined up and is hoping that by avoiding you and pushing you away, you will get tired of her and call the whole thing off.

Any girl/woman who is "stressed" yet continues to push away the very person she SHOULD be turning to when stressed, tells all.

She is not giving you the truth or all the details. Call her on it.

- Response by iowaczechartist, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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This doesn't sound too good for you.She sounds depressed.

- Response by frenchkiss49, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Tampa, Who Cares?

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Its painful and the same as depressing for you but think what is good for yourself.

- Response by A Creative, Female, 29-35, Auckland

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Is she the last woman on earth.? Hang on but if she is not, Move on.

- Response by duggers, A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older

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Sorry dude, but her interest in you is done and she doesn't care.

You were probably too clingy, too affectionate, too nice or something similar. All her statements are typical female bullcrap excuses where they think their sparing your feelings when they're only making them worse because they're confusing the living shit out of you, but since women LIVE in a state of confusion and they think men are the same as they are, they don't much think about or care of they're confusing you, only sparing feelings because to women, feeling ARE their life.

She's already checked out of the relationship, she's just waiting for you to break up with her. If you do, then you might actually earn some respect from her and get her back...but that rarely happens, she'll likely just say "ok, see you".



- Response by richsifu, A Rebel, Male, 46-55, Science / Engineering

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Its not me and my girlfriend

- Response by duggers, A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older

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She likes the IDEA of having a boyfriend, but it doesn't sound like she's particularly into you. She thinks having a boyfriend gives her social status, makes her look important, shows that she is special enough for someone to want her - she likes those feelings, and when she's around other people she enjoys being part of a couple. But when other people are no longer around she doesn't get any of the benefit of any of those emotions - all she has is your company, and it seems that she's not really into that. Time to ditch her and move on to someone who actually wants YOU.

- Response by xerxes, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Washington, DC, Lawyer

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I agree she likes the idea of having a boyfriend, but having you as a boyfriend is not what she wants. Typically you get a strong physical attraction which allows the relationship to move foward into a more mental attraction here the person gets to know and love you for you and then finally just knowing that he/she is your partner brings great pleasure. Unfortunately the buck has stopped at the initial stage of physical attraction maybe once she got to know you she realize your not the one for her.. and she IS moving towards the "it's not you, it's me stage" Sorry hun but this is what dating is all about...

- Response by msglo, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Political / Government

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She doesn't want to be in the relationship any longer, but doesn't have the guts to end it. So, she's being distant in the hope that you will take the initiative and end it.

There's nothing that can be done to save the relationship at this point - it's done. The only thing you can do is walk away and get on with your life. I'm sorry - I know it's a painful thing to go through. It hurts immensely for a while, but slowly things gets better and one day you'll be able to love someone else, except you'll be a little bit wiser. We all go through this at your age.

Call up your friends and hang out with them. Keep yourself busy. Best of luck to you.

- Response by A Rebel, Male, 29-35, Washington, DC, Self-Employed

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She's stressed. Women become distant when they're stressed and they feel like their Bf doesn't care or help. I know. I responded in exactly the same way. No one saw that significant detail in your story. She may have lost interest, but that was only after feeling alone already. Women can be needy, I know. We can also be confusing. We don't mean to be. We simply want genuine concern and an attentiveness to our needs. If we feel a lack then our affections begin to shut down. Sounds like you two were a poor fit in that regard; she may have expected too much. Sorry.

- Response by p1nkladi, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Oklahoma City, Student

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