I think my husband doesn't want to be with me anymore
We don't do anything together anymore, we use to always spend time together, lately all he wants to do is play xbox or hang out with his friends and family. We work two different shifts, so during the week we rarely see each other -we'll see each other for literally 30 seconds when I get home and he's walking out the door to work. He just started this job about 3 weeks ago.
By the time he gets home I'm in bed - I start work at 5am, he works till midnight. He'll come home and play xbox until like 4am - when I'm getting up to go to work he'll be crawling in bed. And when he goes out, which is like 5 times a week he stays out to like 3 or 4am. He's friends with the bar owner and they are all allowed to hang out after hours playing pool or whatever as long as they aren't drinking alcohol.
On our days off he never wants to do anything with me, I can't even get him to go grocery shopping with me. We use to have date night once or twice a week. We haven't had date night since early October. But he has time to hang out with his friends -I swear he spends more time with them than me. Actually he does spend more time with them then me.
We don't' kiss anymore, hardly say I love you - it's more of a loveyoubye -when we're getting off the phone or leaving the house. We don't have sex anymore. Not like we had sex a lot before, but it was at least twice a week, lately it's been like once every other week. When ever I try to speak to him about something he doesn't want to hear he screams shut up or just tunes me out or ignores me. if I ask him to do something for me its like I'm asking him to sacrifice his first born or something.
The other night he went for a haircut and I was like your coming right back home and he was like I don't know - yeah I guess and I was like good cause it's date night, we'll see that movie you want to. ok, fine. he leaves, comes home at 2:45am. He left at 4pm. Needless to say I wasn't mad I was very disappointed and upset. I left him a note - I never leave notes. I was like thanks for not coming home and never spending time with me. I'm really hurt by this, but don't worry I will not ever ask you to ever do anything with me again. I'm so sorry that I'm such a disappointment and horrible wife.
I heard him when he came home because he was drunk off his ass and loud - he rarely gets drunk - and I hate when he's drunk and I hate the smell of beer/alcohol. He read the note and was like (out loud to the dogs I guess) she's not a horrible wife, just a fucking annoying one. He actually came to bed then. He gave me a kiss on the cheek - I think he was aiming for the lips but missed and fell asleep holding me - he hasn't held me in months. However, Sunday rolls around and he's no different. I was getting ready to leave and go grocery shopping - something we normally do together - I hate shopping and why should I be tortured alone he should go with me. He was like -see ya later . nothing else. Oh and he doesn't wear his wedding band anymore - he can't wear it to work, but when he's not working he could wear it - he'll only wear it if I say something.
I don't know what to do -is my marriage over? I don't think he's having an affair - I just don't think he likes me anymore or something.
- Asked by A Trendsetter, Female, 36-45