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The man I am seeing does not seem interested in foreplay.
Sex & Intimacy / 8:12 PM - Thursday December 02, 2010

The man I am seeing does not seem interested in foreplay.

I would very much like to communicate this with him but I don't want to sound critical or bossy. I've never had an issue with before and I don't know how to bring it up.

- Asked by rnrtraveler, A Thinker, Female, 46-55

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I think the simplest and most uncritical way to communicate your need for more foreplay is to say something like "I really love to be TEASED and PLAYED with before sex" Teasing turns it into a positive (and hopefully) fun request in his mind. Either he'll ask what you mean by teasing or, you can just go on to say, "...and by teasing I mean [insert the things you like here] You're not coming from the angle that he did something wrong; you're being a sexy, confident woman who knows what she likes and wants. When women say " I need more foreplay" it automatically puts *some* men on the defensive and they're not sure how to approach the pre-sex games.

- Response by surrealoptimism, A Creative, Female, 29-35

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Community Rating: Community Star

this does not look good for your sexual future with this man. sorry...but when a man isn't into foreplay he just isn't a good lover. the foreplay is part of is not "work" that leads up to it. it makes it better for both the man and the woman and a man that likes foreplay is a man that loves to please a woman, not just find a quick way to get off and go do something else.
he is missing out on some good orgasms himself as well with rushing right to it. so much better when you play and get more horny.

you can just try to ask him to do things..say stuff like "I'd really go nuts if you did ....." or "I was fantasizing all day that you'd do ......for me"
don't tell him you are disappointed in the lack of foreplay, it will seem like a critique and he will feel like he is not good enough.

if he still doesn't get into it, I'd consider moving on, unless you want a dull sex life.

- Response by fondacox, A Trendsetter, Female, 36-45

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i have never been w/a man who
wasn't interested in foreplay!
how is the mood set? you could
try a sexy bra and panties, flowers,
candles, a special dinner, bubble
bath, kamasutra oil, massage?
best of luck. peace. kitkat

- Response by kitkat19, A Thinker, Female, 56-65

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Next time you get intimate, tell him it's a turn on before having sex to kiss, lick, suck, caress, tease before anything else you just want to make out for abit to get the kettle boiling

- Response by hulagirl55, A Sportif, Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

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You will not sound critical or bossy. If you expect to be pleased, and pleased your way, you have to let him know what turns you on.

I'm not sure what kind of foreplay you like, but some things guys consider foreplay may not be your thing. Tell him that what excites you. If kissing, fondling, cuddling, etc. are some of the things you would like to happen before intercourse give him some hints when the mood strikes the both of you.

Guys like to feel as if they are only one who can make you feel just right. Foreplay becomes secondary, because of what they view in porno movies or experienced with a previous relationship. It's not an automatic thing that we actually know what to do. A little help goes a long way. If foreplay arouses you very much he'll appreciate the tip.

- Response by oldgold1982, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55, Technical

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Tell him " I feel great when you..." when you too together and put his hands where you want him to be and also seducing him with yours.

If you're hesitate to tell a man what you want in pleasing you then he is not the right man for you, and if he doesn't care about your pleasure then he doesn't care about your feelings. Get out


- Response by azianchemistry, A Player, Female, 46-55, San Francisco, Who Cares?

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you want foreplay...come on over

- Response by strongbow, A Jock, Male, 29-35, Who Cares?

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