I love her...but I don't feel like we're in love
I'm 35 y/o she is 34, we have been together for 5 years and lived together 4 years. We aren't married through choice (unrelated issue regarding marriage) and have no kids of our own however I adore her 8 y/o boy from a previous relationship.
I feel that although I do love her and her kid (he doesn't call me Dad and see's his Dad but rarely) I feel that the relationship may have reached its peak...in some ways I feel I want more, but don't exactly know what...maybe if she didn't have a kid I'd have left and the only reason I'm still here is that I feel sorry for her boy if I left...but I at the same time do love her, but there is no magic, there is no spark in our lives.
I have spoken to her about there being no spark in our lives, in and outside the bedroom, she doesn't think there is a problem as is too busy with life and her work...I too have a life outside the relationship, I spend as much time with friends and I never take my work home with me but I need more and I feel the problem is with this relationship, I don't know what to do....do i be selfish take the chance to find love somewhere else and ignore the mess I leave behind, (they would cope of course but i would feel guilty being the cause of it) or do I stay hope and try to make it work....even though I feel like I've been hoping and trying for a year now...I know he isn't my kid, I know I can walk and get a fresh start, even at 35 with no baggage, but it doesn't mean its easy. I love her yes, but how do I make it work, how do we make it work?
Any advice on someone thats been where I am?
- Asked by Male, Who Cares?