I sometimes feel as if I have no feelings or emotions at all.
Sometimes I feel as if I've got no emotions or feelings at all, and that makes me feel as if there is something wrong with me. Example: I have very strong feelings towards my boyfriend, but then suddenly ill go for a week or so where I just don't care about him at all, and I'm angry and frusterated and feel empty. Then just as quickly as it came, its gone, right back to normal. He is not the only one I've done it to, either. I've learned to control it enough so that I'm not being hurtful, but it still is very disruptful toward our life. I've had a history with anti depressants, and went through a period of severe panic attacks, but this feeling of complete and total apathy is worse than any of that. I feel like I can't live a normal life if I can't feel anything. Do you think there is any treatment for numbness?
Update: November 25, 2010.
Randyl, in response to your last post, in all honesty, my life is great. I have a great family, a good job, a great boyfriend, great and many friends, and generally a pretty good self view. I definitely do keep my feelings inside and try to blot them out, and I'm definitely not a talker. To be honest, the only people who really know there is a problem is myself and my boyfriend (and only because I can't hide it from him). Of course my parents know I struggle emotionally and always have, but I've always been too private and they're scared to pry. I looked into borderline personality disorder, and I feel strongly that it describes me. I'm going to look into a therapist or a psychologist but my question now is.. where do I start? Do I talk to my regular physician?
Update: November 24, 2010.
Thank you for those of you who had some compassion towards this issue. Your advice was greatly appreciated and has really got me thinking. I do eat healthy, and try to take supplements, as well as regular workouts (3 times a week minimum). I'm no longer on anti depressants, as I took them when I was 16 and later attributed those issues to teenage angst, and have been off of them for many years. Basically, I gave them a try and realized they weren't what I was looking for. I'm considering therapy. I have never been one to talk about anything related to feelings, but that might be my problem. If I convince everyone else that I have no feelings, I guess I can convince myself, right? As for the other responses, I think those people may have missed the point of the forum. "You're crazy, get help" is definitely not constructive and I wish you would have just kept it to yourself. Its obvious I need help if I'm writing on this site, I just want guidance for what direction I should go in.
- Asked by An Alternative Girl, Female, 26-28, Toronto, Retail