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Heavy social drinkers expect others to understand one night stands because they were very drunk.
Dating / 11:27 AM - Thursday November 18, 2010

Heavy social drinkers expect others to understand one night stands because they were very drunk.

I m not a drinker, so I dont understand the point of view of people who drink.

I feel heavy social drinkers expect others to understand one night stands because they were very drunk.

Do you lose so much control of yourself as to end up in a man s or womans bed?

I find it too hard to believe.

Any thoughts?

- Asked by sailormoon, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Other Profession

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If a person gets drunk, drives and kills some folks, can he use "I was drunk" as an excuse for poor driving skills?
Why not? Because even though a person may not have control when they are drunk, they do have control over whether or not they get drunk.
Same deal here.
I drink occasionally, but I honestly can't imagine being with someone with so little self control that they would get drunk. Some people say they drink because it's more fun. Well if someone needs alcohol in order to be interesting, maybe it's time for a little self-reflection.

- Response by falsehammer, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 29-35, Kansas City, Consulting

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I'm a drinker and I sure dont expect others to "understand one night stands because I was very drunk." What I DO expect, if I DO have a one-night-stand, is not "understanding" because I was drunk, but "understanding" because what I choose to do is nobody else's business. If I have a one night stand, whether I was drunk or sober at the time, I dont need anyone's understanding. Having said that, I agree with glasgowbelle, drinking is never an excuse for doing something. If I did something wrong while I was drunk, the fact that I was drunk is irrelevant. But I dont think having a one-night-stand is wrong.

- Response by xerxes, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Washington, DC, Lawyer

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You know what they say about excuses................

- Response by stanorocks, A Guy Critical, Male, 36-45, Denver, Therapist

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drunk guys can't keep it hard in bed just saying

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Who Cares?

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No that has never happened to me. One of my friends got that drunk though, and she woke up the next day at a guy's house and didn't know what happened. She was very ashamed of it, but I told her if anything had happened I think she would have been able to tell the next morning.
I have heard other stories along this line, so it must be true of quite a few people. I was never a big partier.

- Response by dreamdancer, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Houston, Other Profession

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Here is their nutshell:

They are enablers, and any time, not sometimes, but any time youdon;t enable the enabler...

...there is no middle ground for you as a person who is loving, caring, or wanting the best, but instead, it goes all the way over to the side that says in their mind that you...

...are the BAD guy.

- Response by buffer, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Los Angeles, Retired

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I'm not a drinker either. I just think this is another good reason I don't drink..

I know some people can drink and control themselves fine, but having grown up around lots of drinkers and alcoholics, I know that they have a lot of "good" excuses for a lot of things.


- Response by mrscleaver16, A Married Girl, Female, 56-65

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I am with you on this one.

I've been very drunk many times but never lost so much control that I would have done or said anything I'd have regretted later. I am of the opinion that people just use alcohol (and other drugs) as an excuse to behave badly.

- Response by houseworkmakesyaugly, A Married Girl, Female, 36-45

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I am with you on this one.

I've been very drunk many times but never lost so much control that I would have done or said anything I'd have regretted later. I am of the opinion that people just use alcohol (and other drugs) as an excuse to behave badly.

- Response by houseworkmakesyaugly, A Married Girl, Female, 36-45

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I have been known to throw a few back and also have had some one night stands.
I have never bought the excuse from men or women that " I was too drunk to know what I was doing." generally if your too drunk to know what your doing your close to passing out or already passed out.

I have gotten drunk and done some dumb stuff, had a few one nighters, and gotten in a few fights. but I at least have a recolection of it.

- Response by proteus, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 36-45, Pittsburgh, Who Cares?

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A few times a year my wife really goes overboard with drinking and uses it as the excuse why she disappeared with some guy.



- Response by A Life of the Party, Male, 29-35, Who Cares?

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No. Immaturity and poor values.

- Response by blossoming1, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Seattle, Civil Service

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The social drinking is just an excuse used to justify the random sex. I work with a girl and I hear her talk about how she gets smashed meets some guy takes him home has sex with him. Then she wonders why he doesn't call or treats her like shit after the fact. Duh...you gave him azz.

- Response by phenomenal1woman, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Chicago

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Actually, my question is why are you so judgmental of how other people choose to live their lives?

My other question is why do these people feel they need to excuse their decisions to have one night stands?

I've never done a voluntary one night stand, but if I did I wouldn't feel I had to make excuses for it to anyone. I don't know why people feel they have to make excuses for their personal decisions--why is it anyone's business?

- Response by electragold21, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, New York, Teaching

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1. Person knows that alcohol impairs judgment, including ability to wisely choose sex partner(s)
2. Person is invited to party where there is alcohol
3. Person decides to go to party
4. Person decides that he/she will drink alcohol at party
5. Person agrees to kiss toad which appears to be an attractive, handsome/beautiful individuation while continuing to drink alcohol
6. Person wakes up on toadstool wondering how they ended up there
7. Person should read number one again

- Response by beachinbeachboy, A Jock, Male, 36-45, Pittsburgh, Consulting

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hitting bottom-when things in your life get worse faster than you can lower your standards. addiction starts off as an act of self will run riot but it quickly becomes a monster that feeds on itself. thats why someone in its grip will end up in bed with someone they wouldnt sit next to on a bus. at this point its not even them making the choice. their addiction is doing it for them. 'eavy social drinker" is just a politically correct term for being in denial. straight up.

- Response by u2joshuadesireu, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Medical / Dental

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In my younger years I would have fallen under a "heavy social drinker" and I ran with other "heavy social drinkers" and yes---it was generally understood that we did regrettable shit while drunk. "I was really drunk" was a perfectly acceptable explanation in our circles.

I don't drink anymore. And yes--alcohol woukd lower my ambitions and make me do crazy things. I really don't understand why you find that so "hard to believe."

Many people I know who were put under with anesthesia woke up and did some crazy stuff and make inappropriate comments. It is very common. Alcohol is a drug that impacts different people in different ways.

Like I said- I don't drink anymore because I would get out of control. Many of my old friends ended up in AA or rehab. I think it makes more sense to say "If you wind up in bed with someone while drunk- YOU HAVE a PROBLEM with ALCOHOL"

really not so hard to understand it though. Go to an AA meeting and find out just how common it is to wind up in strange beds!!!!!

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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No a chronic cheater is trying to sell you something they want you to believe.

- Response by clip22, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, Executive

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Another reason why I prefer my sex uncomplicated by booze!

- Response by myrtletyrtle, A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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are you ugly??

- Response by tiaknox, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Thunder Bay

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