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Why does my boyfriend always try to make me doubt myself and feel stupid?
Dating / 4:47 PM - Thursday November 11, 2010

Why does my boyfriend always try to make me doubt myself and feel stupid?

Last night I told my boyfriend I was going to be going to a bbq for a friend of mine this upcoming weekend. I have only met her once about a year ago but we have stayed in contact online since then.

He said "Sooo. you're going to a party for a person you met once and haven't seen for a year?" in this sarcastic voice. "That's right" I said, and he just rolled his eyes like I was mad. He does this ALL THE TIME. I have a lot of friends I keep in contact with online. He is one of these people who still thinks internet relationships/friendshi ps are "weird".

Why does he want to make me doubt my decisions all the time?

OH and before you say why didn't you invite him to come with you, he always rejects my invitations if he "wont know anyone".

- Asked by Female, 46-55

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He's a passive aggressive manipulator !

Such "men" are just big girls about having control and being the center of attention wherever they are. When he's with you, he needs to be in control or the COA, when he's out, same thing - and when he's not, then he won't go or will pout it about - like a big girl!

If you are okay with being in a relationship with a CHILD-like "man" then you should just expect that this is the way he is. And if you don't walk away, you are accepting it and need to give up your right to complain and just grit your teeth and "make do."

He is BAD for you because he will only feel good about himself when you feel bad about yourself. For now, it may be tolerable and not too off-putting, but eventually, he will make you choose either to isolate yourself to make him happy (and you'll still fail at that) or to abandon him (and heap you with guilt for doing so).

Now that you know what you have and what to watch for, it's only a matter of time before you have to choose.

The only real issue then is "when" are you going to decide?


- Response by A Career Man, Male, 46-55

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Why do you allow him to make you feel that way?

You can't control other's actions, but you can control how you react or allow them to treat YOU.

As long as you allow him to control you like that ... he will.

You have to let him know that you have self-respect and will not allow him to speak to you a certain way. If he can't respect that, then it's time for you to move on.

- Response by mrscleaver16, A Married Girl, Female, 66 or older

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When you realize you're a woman deserving better for yourself than this negative man taking you nowhere, you will be GONE OUT OF HIS LIFE FOR GOOD, rather than asking why he puts down everything you say and do, as if seeking in continued denial of yourself to please him after all.

- Response by thedaimler2006, An Alternative Girl, Female, 56-65, Atlanta, Self-Employed

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Why are you WITH a guy who always tries to make you doubt yourself and feel stupid? Our partners should help lift us up, not drag us down.

- Response by justpassingthru, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Financial / Banking

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It's really simple. Go to the BBQ. Let him stew over it. Have fun!

- Response by masterbody1, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55

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It is the boyfriend I would be doubting D

- Response by duggers, A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older

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I think he is jealous that you're going and might meet someone else.

- Response by pharma27, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 29-35, Calgary

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