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How long should i wait this for girl to leave her boyfriend?
Dating / 9:44 PM - Sunday November 07, 2010

how long should i wait this for girl to leave her boyfriend?

we have been dating for about a month. we have talked about it and she says she just needs time to choose. we have perfect chemistry. we werent trying to be more than friends at first but now we both really like each other...im 18 and shes 19

- Asked by Male, 22-25

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You should just walk away. You are her back up plan. She'll date you when she gets dumped.

- Response by sillysquids2, A Thinker, Female, 22-25, Who Cares?

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Community Rating: Community Star

The only way to make her end the realtionship is stop seing her.

- Response by sailormoon, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Other Profession

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Have you ever heard the term, "screwed the pooch?"

You started dating someone who was in a relationship with someone else. This is not going to end well for you.

- Response by kaffroake, A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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agreed with squids
you're her back up plan

- Response by funkyflashlight, An Alternative Girl, Female, 22-25

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Yeah this could result in someones ass getting kicked too. You never want to be someones Plan B!

- Response by A Creative, Female, 22-25

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Your question ... how long should you wait... Answer.... NOT ONE MINUTE MORE!!!

- Response by bford7, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Financial / Banking

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YoU ARE tHE rESERVE pLAyER,
You MiGht, I said might, get a game if number one fails. D

- Response by duggers, A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older

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If she has a boyfriend, you shouldn't be waiting at all. She's suckering you because it seems she has already made her choice... to stay with him. She can't like you that much if she's willing to keep you on the back burner. She's afraid to give up what she's got for you until she feels you can offer her something better. Way to have her cake & eat it too putting you off with her halfhearted excuses. Get ready to have your heart broken.

- Response by melmac, A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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From my experience usually the one who is in a relationship does not leave it. I've done it myself a few times and the person who I ended up with was never the other lover. A friend of mine also did the same thing but she is still with her current boyfriend even though she told me she was inlove with the "other" guy.

Although there was one story from these acquaintances (guy and girl) who I knew were both in a relationship and then left them to be with eachother. Sadly though after a few years the girl cheated occasionally and they are no longer together.

My point is, you may be the exception with this girl, for all I know she could be passionately inlove with you and just waiting for the right time to tell her boyfriend its over. And I do hope that is what happeneds!! But in reality, her breaking up with her boyfriend to be with you does not usually happen.

Do not give her the ultimatium. Its a turn off and then your chances of being with her will be a definate NO. If you act cool about it and go on with your life you may have a chance. Because it shows you are not dependant on her or needy and gives a little bit of mystery. Girls love the mysterious guy and thats what draws people to stray from their current relationship in the first place. So if you really want this girl, be that mysterious guy that every girl dreams of.

But know when to call it quits. If its taking way to long for her to decide then you know the answer. The answer is not you.

- Response by couchie666, A Thinker, Female, 22-25

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A lot of people are telling you to run, and I understand it, but its hard to ay whats going on behind closed doors.

I started dating a guy before I ended my relationship with my abusive ex. The guy I am dating now was the reason why I grew a backbone enough to leave. Without my current boyfriend, I would've been completely lost.

If she's being physically or emotionally abused, you could be her saving angel.

- Response by A Player, Female, 26-28, Who Cares?

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Try to keep one truth in mind... when you find the right one, they are absolutely the right one. You have no doubt, no questions about it, no hesitation to move forward with them.

For her to tell you that she needs time to choose, means that she doesn't really love or like ANYONE. If she did, she would not be dating YOU; she would be with her boyfriend exclusively. If it were YOU, she would be with you exclusively. And, that choice would not require any effort at all.

So, I submit to you, that she is just a cheat and would do it to you TOO, if given the opportunity.

People who do not respect relationships, when you meet them, NEVER WILL.

- Response by randyl, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Los Angeles, Technical

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You don't.

She's trying to hold on to two men at once - the 'old' that she's not ready to break up, and the new, shiny and exciting that she thinks she wants.

All you can do is force her hand by pulling away and making her choose. Talk to her about it ONCE, then act. If she doesn't come to you within a week or so, you know her choice.

Learn now not to be "played" by women, how to be a "man" not a needy or whiny 'boy' or 'guy' and you will find more and more that you end up dating "women" and not silly girls, and how to tell them apart.

Do this and you'll have a MUCH happier dating life and make it that much easier to recognize a "quality" woman with whom you can build something with long term.

But before you get there, you're going to have to date and learn. Just take each experience as a "learning experience" and move on, careful to avoid the same mistake twice.



- Response by A Career Man, Male, 36-45

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You're 19, or you were when this was written. I'll be blunt. You're both very young. If it's meant to be it's meant to be. Put her on the back burner too and date other women. Divorce rates are high, people break up all the time, women get bored, you'll both grow in leaps and bounds mentally and emotionally in the coming years and that can cause breakups too. If it's meant to be it will happen in time but do not put a massive emphasis on it now. Just have fun with her - do not break the touch barrier and do not see her too regularly to prevent the friend zone occurring. Your aim should be to live life to the full and if this girl is the *one* i promise you she will be there when the time is right. Do not act like she is the be all and end all though because you need to become an Alpha Male, you may also want to bulk up a bit too to get your self-esteem going. Never cheat and refuse any physical advances she makes until she is single.

- Response by A Player, Male, 26-28

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