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My husband is always calling me stupid, dumb, a liar and no matter what i do it just isn't right.
Married Life / 10:28 PM - Friday November 05, 2010

My husband is always calling me stupid, dumb, a liar and no matter what i do it just isn't right.

He locked the keys in the truck, he cusses me out, calls me a stupid dumb ass for locking "my" door when he left the keys in the truck. Calls me a stupid ass when i ask for gas money to take our daughter to a birthday party and says that i am "draining" him. He is always talking ugly to me and her, (she is 8). I do not know what to do. I am taking classes to get my teaching degree and work as a parapro fulltime and fulltime at the afterschool program. He hauls cargo trailers and is gone most of the time. When he is home, it is hell. Anything i say is wrong, he tells me what i am thinking, how i feel when i try to tell him what i like/want/seen ect....he has seen it, done it or wants it more or better. I cannot do anything. Please help me. I am so unhappy and lost. He does what he wants to do the hell with anyone else especially when he is smoking that stuff.

- Asked by Female, 36-45

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no one can help you but you and you know what u must do. Kick him to the curb, get a restraining order and get on and enjoy your life. He is an abuser, loser trying to feel important by running u down. the final decision maker is him mistreating the 8 yr old, he needs a beating along with kicking him to curb. mental abuse can last longer and be worse than physical abuse, esp on kids. u need to act. Your not ready to be a teacher or mentor until you can recognize this crap

- Response by mtusa007, A Rebel, Male, 46-55, Self-Employed

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Community Rating: Community Star

Here is the best way to look at it:

Pretend that this is a close friend of yours, or your sister, or a neighbor that is going through this instead of you.

If you are able to remove yourelf from the situation and answer your own question fairly, than this is how you should handle it.

It is difficult to do, especially when we are in denial, but over time, it helps to clarify things in our minds.

- Response by buffer, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Los Angeles, Managerial

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Sounds like you need to leave. You can't change him and sounds like he doesn't want to change. So, your only option is to leave the situation. And if you can't do that, then your stuck. So, try to make the best of it. Ignore him and just say "yes, dear".

- Response by msadvise, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Transportation

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You married my dad? I am sorry. Leave his ass, he will only get worse.

- Response by A Life of the Party, Female, Who Cares?

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Do you have family that can help you to move away from him. It is not healthy for you or your daughter to be around him.
Nothing will change with him. And it sounds as though you are able to take care of yourself and your daughter. Look in your community for some supports and go where he can not badger you as he is. It will just continue to bring you down.

- Response by morningdust, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Self-Employed

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Only one thing I can say: Do you want to live the rest of your life like this? Really?

- Response by roaminginsomniac, An Alternative Girl, Female, 46-55, Law Enforcement

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He is calling you stupid...you should be calling him ex-hubby!

- Response by buffyzone, A Trendsetter, Female, 36-45, Other Profession

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Divorce him.He is not fit to be your husband.

- Response by size008, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 66 or older, New York, Retired

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Lol..dam hedo2nj needs a sex change I see.. where the hell did you get that 99% of the suffering crap from.

It's a small but powerful percentage of men that cause all the problems on the planet, it's a far larger percentage of them that do most of the good.

Women and their emotional/mental issues are the ones that cause 80% of the problems in relationships, which is often what sets most of these men off. Also because women PICK and MARRY these same assholes, then complain when they act like assholes!

He obviously has anger issues for one, but even with that, he is taking it out on you probably because he either used to be a really nice guy and learned, from WOMEN dumping him time and time again and going out with abusive, asshole jerks, that the way to get and keep a woman is to be an abusive asshole jerk.

Also you hinted that he is "smoking that stuff" so I take it he's doing some kind of drugs.. so there is your real trigger. Drugs or alcohol can turn the nicest guy into the biggest asshole...and a guy that's already an asshole into a complete psycho.

- Response by richsifu, A Rebel, Male, 36-45, Science / Engineering

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Leave.
There is no other life. Men created this illusion that if you "obey" your husband in life God rewards you in the other life.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Other Profession

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The first thing you must do, is get your teaching credential so that you CAN GO TO WORK!

It sounds like part of his problem, is that he is feeling overwhelmed by the financial responsibility he is shouldering.

Until the economy picks up and everyone starts doing better, you need to help him, so that he doesn't feel so helpless.

My guess is that his REAL problem is anger and resentment. Because most men do not express themselves so well, he is suffering silently MOST OF THE TIME. You know what happens the REST of the time. :(

- Response by randyl, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Los Angeles, Technical

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Tell him that smoking that STUFF!! makes him an asshole and to grow up! call him what he calls you. Some people just grow apart. stay ontrack and get your degree.

- Response by bobbyg69, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Construction

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GET RID OF HIM HES A LOOSER AND NEVER WILL CHANGE There are good men out there that will love you and uour daughter Life is to short to live with a man like this.

- Response by A Guy Critical, Male, 56-65, Transportation

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Oh my, what you've described sounds like an addiction out of control. Nothing will be right unless it is addressed 1st. Seek a professional for help in making him face his problem. In the meantime get out, or have him removed, this is a serious situation that demands action now. Good Luck docj

- Response by 01docj10, A Guy Critical, Male, 56-65, St.Louis, Retired

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