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From a roommate viewpoint, how often is too often for my boyfriend to come over?
Dating / 10:14 AM - Friday October 29, 2010

From a roommate viewpoint, how often is too often for my boyfriend to come over?

He doesn't make any messes or use anything, and we usually hang out in my bedroom so he's hardly ever in the common area. He doesn't take showers at my place, and he's gone before my roommates even wake up in the morning.

- Asked by fergie, A Hippie Chick, Female, 26-28, New York, Science / Engineering

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I would say about 3 times per week, would be about reasonable. When it's getting to about 4 or more - then that's like another person in the house. It's not always about the use of facilities or mess, sometimes it's just the lack of 'space'. Your boyfriend is YOUR boyfriend, not theirs, and they might not appreciate his presence as much. Particularly since he is offically a non-tenant and isn't actually part of the agreement or paying rent. Don't take it for granted - they tolerate him, no doubt, but ideally, roomates (plural) would prefer just the people they agreed to share with. But at the same time, they can understand a little that roomates have boyfriends/girlfriends come and go. Also, being around a couple can be awkward for those outside that twosome. Be aware of this for their sake.

- Response by gogobbles, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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Well personally I would feel uncomfortable with anyone ever sleeping over. Sleepovers should be confined to no more than once a month, but I think it is ok to hang out in your room more than that. It all depends, one should be able to relax at home and maybe your roommate feels like she can't really unwind with a man in the house. You know what would be great is if you sat down with her and asked her what she honestly feels.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?

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This is a question best answered by your roommates. They may not mind him there at all, then again they might like their space. Even though you said he's gone before they get up it still could be uneasy for them. I've had roommates who had their girlfriends over. I liked them and didn't mind they were there but I tended to stay away so they could have privacy.
Talk to your roommates and let them know you were thinking about what they thought of it.

- Response by A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 29-35, Who Cares?

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These are questions you have to ask your roommate. Part of being a room mate is compromise and having rules you both can live by. Rosey

- Response by roseytalks, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Tampa, Who Cares?

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Let me get this clear. You don't share a room with another female do you? Because that would be uncomfortable for your room mate. If you mean that you share a house and you all have your own rooms, like anything in life you need to communicate with the others !!

If they are happy with it then you're good. If they are not then at least you know what you have to do!!

- Response by hands, A Creative, Male, 46-55, Hong Kong, Who Cares?

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i don't mind if my roommate had her boyfriend over everyday especially if theyre in her room. who am i to say u can't have company. i guess it gets bad when he's eating or showering there everyday. then it becomes a money issue. and it helps if i like her boyfriend too. but as long as ur paying rent, ur allowed to have whoever u want, whenever!

- Response by nicky711, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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I had absolutely no problem with my roomates girlfriend when she would come over, I didnt even mind that she was with him 24/7....what I did mind however was when she would shine a blue light on the ceiling from her phone for hours on end while I was trying to sleep....He would act like she wasnt doing anything wrong

- Response by curiousguy, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 29-35, Who Cares?

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I really wouldn't give crap how often he was over as long as he wasn't hanging around being a slob, drinking me cokes, and running up the water bill.

- Response by TheSshhmoe, An Alternative Girl, Female, 22-25, Student

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- Response by pinag, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Chicago, Consulting

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