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How do you deal with people who lie to you?
Family & Parenting / 12:22 PM - Sunday October 24, 2010

How do you deal with people who lie to you?

I have family members who think it is OK to lie to me. They lie about insignificant issues, and they lie about major issues. They have lied about so many things, I think they don't know what the truth is any more. When I try to talk to them about it, they say it is my problem. At this point, it is my problem. I am basing my life on foundations that are turning out to be lies. This involves 2 children (20 and 22) and their father. Any suggestions?

- Asked by A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Teaching

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There are people in this world who absolutely do not know the truth from a lie. The lie is as real to them as the truth is to you. I don't know if there is a cure for such a thing, but the only offense is a defense....yours would be to stay away from them and just discount anything they say that comes down the wire.

- Response by pushkins, A Thinker, Female, 66 or older, Miami, Who Cares?

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Community Rating: Community Star

Keep your expectations low and you won't be disappointed.


- Response by bluegenel, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, Who Cares?, Technical

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sounds like they have no character at all.
hate being lied to either way...
there are no white or black lies. ppl tend to deny right from wrong.
pray for them...seems that is the only thing that can change them.

- Response by mobysdick, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Who Cares?

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I know a guy in his mid-forties who is a bit like what you describe. He lies. . .all the time. A lot of the time, he simply lies about things that shouldn't even matter. . .just stupid stuff he makes up to get a laugh or impress his buddies. . .except that he routinely puts words in other people's mouths and tells "stories" involving people who are actually there listening to him talk and KNOW that he isn't telling the truth!

A few times, I've called him "out" when I heard him telling someone else about things I have supposedly said or done. He just shrugs and laughs like it's no big deal. I really don't think he even realizes that he IS lying, because he does it so often that it's just natural for him.

But, the problem is, he works for a business where I am one of the paying clients. . .and the stories he tells are basically rumors and gossip, which he spreads to the other clients. And yes, they include telling other people that he and I were "dating" or "involved" at one point, which NEVER happened. Fortunately, most of the other clients have also been around long enough to know that every time this guy's mouth is moving, he's lying, so everyone pretty much just ignores him. There have been times when I think he's the only one who DOESN'T realize that he's lying!

You're not going to be able to change the situation yourself. People like what you describe. . .they're liars through and through, almost to the point that they're delusional and believe everything that they say.

- Response by saucywench, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Cincinnati, Other Profession

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How do I deal with people who lie to me?

It's simple.........I don't.

- Response by drumboi2, A Guy Critical, Male, 56-65

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How sad that your own children are engaged in this behavior. Obviously you cannot trust them. Be open about that and tell them that because of their lies you cannot trust them. Then modify your behavior and expectations accordingly.

- Response by elluskott, Female, 46-55, Artist / Musician / Writer

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I don't deal with those that lie to me. That includes family etc. I have no problem not having anything to do with them and on multiple occasions have stopped talking to multiple family members for months on end. You just have to decided whether it's worth your time and energy to constantly try to decipher truth from fiction or be around those you know tell you the truth.

- Response by staceym2112, A Cool Mom, Female, 26-28, Medical / Dental

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