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Is it a 'red flag' when he doesn't acknowledge your birthday?
Dating / 10:07 AM - Saturday October 16, 2010

Is it a 'red flag' when he doesn't acknowledge your birthday?

The guy I'm dating never asked about my birthday. He doesn't even know when it is. I celebrate his birthdays and once he even thought I forgot. At first I didn't think anything of it but he remembers all of his friends birthdays. Is this a 'red flag' sign or am I making a bigger deal than it is? Thanks

- Asked by An Alternative Girl, Female, Who Cares?

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You should tell him when it is. It is possible he doesn't ask because you don't tell. However, it seems a bit self-absorbed that it doesn't occur to him to find it out.

- Response by maryea, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Retired

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Birthdays.....plural? You're saying that you have been dating for at least 2 years.....then yes.....it's a red flag

- Response by epiphanomaly, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Philadelphia, Self-Employed

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Community Rating: Community Star

I was in same situation.
I so wanted him to wish me a happy birthday, but what's the point that he only said it because I reminded him to?
Many say that's how guys are, but then why do they remember their guy friends' bdays and buys presents for them in advance?

Put it into context. Does he dote on you/ look after you/ take into account things that are important to you? If he does, then I wouldn't worry. If not, if what matters to you do not matter to him, then there is a problem.

- Response by A Hippie Chick, Female, 26-28

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It may have slipped his mind at the beginning of the relationship. And now it is getting more and more difficult to ask you the longer this goes on.

I doubt he just doesn't care. What other signals are you getting from him and the relationship? Does the above seem possible?

...:)


- Response by bluegenel, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, Who Cares?, Technical

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NOPE. This happens all the time. Whenever a special day is coming up that you want him to remember, just drop a few hints. If he doesn't get the hints, just tell him that your birthday is next week and you're soooo excited. If he doesn't remember then, you have a problem.

- Response by mlcoast2, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 22-25

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selective memory. men tend to remember things they want to remember. i wouldn't say that it's a red flag I will say that your bday isn't on the top of his list of things to remember. But that's how guys are

- Response by phenomenal1woman, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Chicago

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I think your making it bigger then it really is... we all don't have the greatest memories, nor do we all put the same importance in dates. I have so many great friends and guess what if it wasn't for facebook reminders I probably wouldn't know their bday's. It isn't personal. My boyfriend has a fit because he remembers my bday and I don't remember his... what's the big deal? Please don't make a big deal about it maybe what you can do is give him a sticky and just say... here put this somewhere special and give me a call on my bday... let him know you like bday wishes but if he doesn't remember the exact day its not because he doesn't care for you it's because he doesn't have a good memory or has other things going on that make him forget...

- Response by msglo, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Political / Government

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It depends on how long you've been dating, and also maybe, if you're exclusive...it is a big deal if you guys have been dating a while...and an even bigger deal if you're exclusive...ESPECIALLY since you celebrated HIS bday and he didnt even care to ask you when yours is...that seems a lil weird...how long hv u been dating and how serious is it?

- Response by curiousgirl7, A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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i would get him a calendar so he starts remembering.

- Response by le_gem735713, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Miami, Who Cares?

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If you remember his birthday he should remember yours!

- Response by w1derwoman, An Engaged Girl, Female, 26-28, Oklahoma City, Student

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