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Has anyone in your family abandoned you and if so how did you deal with it?
Family & Parenting / 11:54 AM - Tuesday October 12, 2010

Has anyone in your family abandoned you and if so how did you deal with it?

It's not like she/he has abandoned only me, she/he has abandoned everyone in the family...she/he isn't depressed and things are going good for them...I believe that she/he is just selfish or acting too good for the family. Has anyone else went through this situation and how did you deal with it?

Update: October 12, 2010.
Let me broaden the situation: ok so I thought that family was suppose to stick together through thick and thin no matter what problem...although I can understand abuse but the sibling was not abused...the sibling comes from a loving family and we help each other out...he/she just chooses not to be in our lives until he/she needs something...apparently since things are going good for the sibling she/he has chosen to abandon us....

Update: October 12, 2010.
it's actually a sibling...

- Asked by Female, 29-35

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You know, I am going to give you the other side of this one.

I walked away from my siblings, and I have no desire to ever go back.

I often asked myself, "Where was I?" when they would tell some fabricated "I have been wrong and you didn't defend me" story about our parents etc.

We have different values, choices and lifestyles.

I live my life with integrity that makes me "sanctimonious".

I chose not to have children, they each had one or more kids pre-maritally and as the products of extra-marital affairs.

I went to college, they dropped out of high school.

I don't "act" too good for them, I "am" too good for them.

Does this all make me a judgemnetal bitch? Probably, but you live with your decisions, let me live with mine.

- Response by siouxzen, A Career Woman, Female, Who Cares?, Guadalajara, Self-Employed

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I'm assuming this abandonment happened a long time ago. It's hard to get past the fact that a (again I am assuming it's a parent) protector and provider could leave you just like that. If you can contact the person, the best way to alleviate some of the hurt is to get your feelings out in the open and hear his/her side of the story. In your mind, there is no good reason why you should have been abandoned, but in the other person's mind, he/she had good reasoning. Talk it out if possible. If not, seek a bit of counseling.

- Response by momof4, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Administrative

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Family members don't abandon people without huge motivation.

Surely, there are other factors that you may be aware of?

Abuse, mental illness, etc.

That is probably the issue that needs to be dealt with by you as you process that something is probably not right in your family, or with that person.

- Response by trawna, A Career Woman, Female, 46-55, Toronto, Consulting

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I moved 1,000 miles to get away from my toxic family.

It was the smartest move I ever made.

I didn't view it as abandoning my family.....I viewed it as finally becoming healthy and no longer participating in the dysfuntional relationships.

Just something for your family to consider ----

- Response by utahmom, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Managerial

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Well I have all but abandoned my sister. I choose not to have toxic people in my life and until she learns how to help herself, can live in the present and have a sane conversation then I really have no reason to associate with her. Now she sees me as a snob who thinks I am too good for her. Go figure!

- Response by kdtxchic30, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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in a way my family abandoned me when I was younger. Granted I had a drug problem, as well as some other issues that my family wasn't fully aware of. either way, they shunned me and that really hurt. I felt more alone than I thought was possible, so I figured "I'll show them" and I went to school, got an education, got a good job and generally got my life in order on my own, with out their help. I came to them a few years later driving my nice new car in my best pressed suit and my father said "we all knew you could do it, and we prayed for you everyday. I am proud of you, I have always been proud of you but we had to step back and let you hit rock bottom so you could find what it was that made you tick" It was the toughest lesson in my life, and now my family and I are very close. When I get stressed out at work and start to beat myself up my father always tells me "you lived on the streets, you went through hell and found what made you tick. Use that, use that thiings that drives you, and this too shall pass. "

- Response by thatguymick, A Guy Critical, Male, 36-45

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Yes, I came from an abusive home; I left when I was 16 yrs old and have not been back since. It was not that I was too good, I just wanted to live.

- Response by dambreaker, A Father Figure, Male, 56-65, Retired

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