Thank you for your many years of support. We want to share the news with you that after much consideration, will cease operations in its present format on October 15th. We appreciate your meaningful contributions over the years.
Back to Home

Active Questions

What is the best way to handle my overbearing roommate?
Friendship / 12:05 AM - Saturday October 09, 2010

What is the best way to handle my overbearing roommate?

I recently moved into a 2 bedroom apartment with a friend of a friend in a new city. The apartment is lovely-spacious, quaint, and in a nice neighborhood. We are splitting the rent and bills 50/50 and he is not the owner; merely the tenant, just as I am. The only difference is that he's lived here much longer than me.

My roommate and I get along for the most part. But something irks me about him; he treats me as if I am his tenant. He's a bit older than me and is an artist, so he seems to always have the first say about how the apartment is arranged. As we speak, I'm sitting in a living room that looks like his art gallery. In addition to that, he's a bit territorial. Since he's not employed he spends day and night sprawled on the couch watching TV. If I want to watch anything I have to ask him first. He usually "allows" me to, but not without grilling me about what I am going to watch.

Other peeves about him are that he is super-anal, nit-picky, cold at times (I once opened up to him that I was stressed about some things. His response to me was, "Speaking of stress, you owe me $80 for the cable bill..."), and did I mention territorial?

I try to look on the bright side: that he's friendly with all of my friends, has invited me to hang out with him, shares his meals with me sometimes, and that he is actually a tidy roommate. I just am not used to being "controlled." I'm used to living by myself, so this is overwhelming.

My question is this: do I have the right to express my grievances with him? If so, what is the best manner in which to do this?

I do plan to move out when I get back on my feet, in probably a year. So moving out is not an option. Thanks.

- Asked by A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

Read more about the Rating System