You know what the right thing to do is. You've already tried it three times. I think it's worth trying again and again. Because the alternative is to keep seeing him. If it helps, think of the consequences. There are loads of different possible outcomes. The absolute best is that you both decide simultaneously that it's real love and time to leave your partners. Both partners have simultaneously decided that they've found someone new so the divorces sail through, you all put your assets and possesions in a big pile and take one sixth each. Your children are so well adjusted that they take this in their stride and wonder why all marriages don't end this way.
This is not a likely outcome.
Or: You eventually work out that the sex is not as much fun as it used to be, the deception is getting very tiresome and, to be honest, your illicit friend is not quite as great as you once thought. If you can reach this stage simultaneously, give yourselves gold stars. If not, someone is going to be left missing and longing for the other. It's a sort of dull ache that in my experience, takes about 2 years to fade and even now, sometimes leaps out of the shadows at me.
I guess you've thought about what happens if you get caught. Just remember that although getting caught only happens to other people, to me, you're other people.
You know what to do. It's going to be difficult and will hurt. You're in a lose-lose situation. So go somewhere that betting is legal (England's very nice at this time of year), present your possible outcomes to the bookmaker and pick which set of odds appeals the most. Stick your shirt on it. Everything you've got. Including your heart.
Or maybe you could tell your husband that you think your marriage is a little stale and that you've been tempted.
Then HE'LL take the bet.
- Response by 1jealousguy
, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, London, Artist / Musician / Writer