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I had a threesome with my male roommate and a female? Am I gay?
Sex & Intimacy / 1:38 PM - Friday October 01, 2010

I had a threesome with my male roommate and a female? Am I gay?

I have always had plenty of girlfriends. I love having sex with only women.

So here is my question: Am I gay?

I, my roommate and a female friend were just hanging at our apartment watching Dude where's my car and that scene where the two male friends kiss in the car came on. She asked my male roommate to kiss me; she thought it would be hot. At first we both said hell no. But she said she'd do WHATEVER we wanted if we did, meaning THREESOME! So we did and we got to do our first threesome. So I saw my guy friend naked and it did absolutely nothing for me! But she did ask us to do it again and I wasn't as sicked out as before. I was kissing a naked guy in front of a girl and it was kind of a kinky thing. We didn't touch each other and we didn't have any sex with each other. So it's been going on for like two weeks now, us making out when we have sex with her only. I mean we both live together and are totally straight when not with her. We just hang out like to normal friends, like nothing ever happened. I mean he is in his room right now with some chick, who moaned like half the damn night. And I still have a few chicks I get down with on the side. Okay so am I gay?

Oh yeah, just because I know someone is going to say something, yes I always use condoms! I'm not stupid, maybe a male whore, but no STD's or babies here! =)


Update: October 02, 2010.
Just so everyone knows, I'm not homophobic (obviously right) or worried about what others think of me. My parents love me and that's all that matters, haha. So some of you will probably think its stupid, but I asked my brother the same question after I posted it on here. Now he is actually bi (but has a beautiful wife and a kid now). He laughed at me and was like if you're straight, then why are you letting this chick push you into doing that? So he said maybe I'm slightly into it or may just curious. He told me to watch a GAY PORNO and see if it does anything for me. He gave me one (him and his wife watch them together sometimes, now that's weird) and let me say, I'm not gay! That shit freaked me out! So I had it in and my roommate walks in and just looks at me kind of weird. I told him I wanted to know if I was gay or not, haha. He told me to "turn in my ticket for the short bus" and stop being so damn weird. He said if it was making me question my sexuality then we would just tell her no and she can find some other guys to do it for her. He said he was kind of worried about her eventually asking for something more anyways, and he said there was no way (which I feel the same way). So I sent her a text last night before she could get here (she was planning on coming over). She was mad and said no more sex with her then. I said fine, we both have other girls anyways and think I'm going to try the two girl thing ;). Strictly girls!

- Asked by Male, 29-35

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I don't know if you are gay or not, but I think that is really hot! Also long as you guys look hot (which I'm guessing is a yes, due to all the ladies you two pull in), then I say keep doing it and send me the video ;)

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 46-55

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Considering that you are kissing your guy friend in exchange for 3-some sex with this girl, combined with the fact that 'he' does not turn you on, and that you have not had sexual intercourse with the guy nor feel a desire to -- yeah, you're gay!
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Just kidding!!!!
I don't think you are.
But if this girl furthers her demands on you guys like wanting to watch you stroke each other or more ... where are you going to 'draw the line'?
What if she shows up with another one or two hot g/f's of hers and offers to do a full-on orgy with girl-on-girl action added to the mix ... still going to draw the same 'line' if she demands more?
Something to think about....

- Response by andrewj5267, A Guy Critical, Male, 36-45, Miami, Teaching

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Community Rating: Community Star

No, this alone does not make you gay.

It is actually normal and natural to even be curious about this stuff (even if you're not)... and THAT doesn't even make you gay.

Gay is not a bad thing, as so many people attach that stigma to it.

It simply means to choose a way of life in a same sex partnership.

If that is what you are doing, then you are gay.

If not, you are probably just experimenting... which most people at least think about at times. I.E - You are just a normal heterosexual acting on some new experiences - which could be either for the good, or not so good, depending on how responsibly you handle it. =-)


- Response by cutypy5840, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Medical / Dental

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I don't think this makes you gay. If you were sitting around fantasizing about getting him naked when your girlfriend was away I would think differently. People are into all sorts of freaky sh*t. Some would even consider this one mild. It would be freaky to me, but hey everybody has their own thing.

- Response by jess2481, A Life of the Party, Female, 36-45, Cincinnati, Other Profession

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Maybe just curious and maybe bi. See how far this goes and be safe.

- Response by hulagirl55, A Sportif, Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

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In my book it does not mean you are gay, because you didn't get turned on by seeing him naked. The two of you were focused on pleasing her, and you only kissed because she requested it and promised a threesome. And you haven't done anything sexual with your roommate before or since.
I think your pleasure is focused on what she wants, so that would mean you are not gay.

- Response by dreamdancer, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Houston, Other Profession

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Do YOU think you are gay?
There isn't some checklist you go through to decide if you are gay or not. It's self-identification.
It's not like being blonde or brunette, which are pretty quantifiable. It's more like being a Democrat or Republican. You identify yourself however you feel you want to. While you may not agree with your party of choice on everything, it doesn't really matter because it's about where you feel most at home.
Same deal with being gay. There isn't a list of things that make you gay or not. It's what you feel is right for you. You may not meet every expectation (for instance, many straight people experiment and very few gay men actually lisp), but it doesn't matter.
You are what you feel you are, not what we think you are.

- Response by falsehammer, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 29-35, Kansas City, Consulting

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Bisexual maybe,
Bicurious for sure.

- Response by stanorocks, A Guy Critical, Male, 36-45, Denver, Therapist

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There's no gay test, hon.

If sexuality were on a scale with 1 being completely 100% straight, and 10 being totally gay, never looking at opposite sex people, the VAST majority of people are between 2 and 9. That is, almost no one has a complete and total preference for one gender or the other.

Sexuality is a very personal thing. It's not something someone can ascribe to you, unless they're providing vocabulary for a condition you already self-identify with. You have to know what the words mean and really reflect to see if you can or want to apply them to yourself.

I think girls are sexy and hot, and I wouldn't have a problem being sexually intimate with one. But I self-identify as straight. So I am straight. That's really all there is to it. It doesn't change who I am, or what I do or think, and it's certainly no one else's business.

So the question is, do YOU think you're gay? Obviously not, so you're not. Personally I like the word "heteroflexible" haha. Though, I AM going to stress that identifying as gay is NOT a bad thing, and I really hope you're not repressing any actual homosexual desires because of "what people would think." Times are a-changing.

- Response by anie01, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Teaching

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No list for qualifications for being Gay..you tried something mildly kinky..just stay safe..I was just thinking you are going thru a lot of trouble to have sex with a Girl if he is not doing anything for you is all I am thinking. Smile

- Response by cjs1991, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Teaching

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You're only gay if you fall in love with men. Sex is sex, but if you have a deep, loving, meaningful relationship with a man whom you ALSO have sex with, then you're gay.

- Response by pudgeybunny, A Hippie Chick, Female, 26-28, Artist / Musician / Writer

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your only gay if you and your buddy start getting in on without your fuckbuddy girlfriend around.

Remember don't be a shaft grabber, and never trust a spitter.


- Response by proteus, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 46-55, Pittsburgh, Who Cares?

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I'd have to toss you in the bi column, it's one thing to kiss a guy once for sex with a girl, but to continue to do so...well, that's questionable. I almost wish I was gay sometimes, because guys are so much easier to deal with then girls.

If you're having run, roll with it. Keep doing what you're doing and don't worry about being classified. As an aside, try a threesome with you and two girls, that's a lot of fun.



- Response by stewart2016, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 29-35, Salt Lake City, Student

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Yeah, you're probably a little gay, nothing wrong with that. i did an MMF once with a buddy of mine and this chick. however, we didn't call it a threesome. we called it a double team. an that is where the differance is. Him and I didn't touch each other in any way. in fact before it started we made a rule "no sword fighting"

- Response by guy5432, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 36-45, New York, Who Cares?

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As a wise man once said: Don't cross the streams

- Response by strongbow, A Jock, Male, 29-35, Who Cares?

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I didn't know my friend was gay until he giggled when I kissed him. LOL

I don't think you are gay. You have crossed a line for sexual pleasure with the girl and I can certainly understand the lure of threesomes since my wife and I have been having them for 37 years. I've never kissed a man or interacted sexually just take my turns but whatever turns you on is okay. Whatever three people do in the privacy of their bedroom is no one's business.

- Response by hnimsoc, A Creative, Male, 56-65, Retired

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Well... sexuality is a gray area with a lot of people. I determine my sexuality on who I'm sexually attracted to. Since that is men, I'm gay. Since you don't feel any sexual attraction to your male friend, I don't see homosexuality or even bisexuality in the equation... just someone who's strangely obsessed with threesomes.

In the end you're the only expert on it. The more y'all hang out and do this the more demands she's going to make. A part of me wonders if you're curious how far she'll take this in your failure to halt all this.

- Response by desota18, A Creative, Male, 22-25, Self-Employed

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No, your not gay.

15 years ago my wife (girlfriend at the time) was at the apartment me and my bestfriend has. We ended up having a threesome. I never kissed him but after a few times I ended up sucking his dick.

Dude, I'm not gay and I'm not bi. I'm not into guys, guys don't turn me on, I don't look for dicks to suck and when I suck his dick it doesn't turn me on, but it does turn him and my wife on.

- Response by A Life of the Party, Male, 29-35, Who Cares?

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Well a threesome with another man and kiss him, I think you will be I mean who straight man would kiss another man and worst naked, dude that is totally weird.

- Response by vitamin, A Life of the Party, Male, 36-45, Mexico City, Financial / Banking

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