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How do I tell my boyfriend I want to come on his family vacation without inviting myself?
Dating / 8:33 PM - Wednesday September 29, 2010

How do I tell my boyfriend I want to come on his family vacation without inviting myself?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 months are in a long distance relationship. We see each other every 3 weeks usually. A few weeks ago I asked him if he wanted to go away somewhere with me over the christmas break. He said he would love to but that he usually spends that time with his family, so he'd have to ask them....but that I could come on their vacation if I wanted to. I said that I didn't think it was fair of me to leave my family over the holidays to be with his family. So I said no.
I talked to my family about it and they told me that they knew how much I miss him and I hardly get to see him so they want me to go away with him and his family if he cannot go away with just me.
So now how do I broach the topic of going away with his family without seeming to invite myself on their trip?
Thanks!!

- Asked by A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Calgary, Student

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You just say, "Hey...remember when I said I didn't want to go? I changed my mind."

Yep, that oughta do it :)

- Response by kaffroake, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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If you want to go with him, tell him what your family said. You've already said no. Don't expect a 2nd invite unprovoked.

If he still doesn't invite you. Go on as you normally would, with your own family.

- Response by jess2481, A Life of the Party, Female, 36-45, Cincinnati, Other Profession

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If you have told us the complete truth about what he said... he basically already invited you.

But, you do not want to put him in a difficult position. So, casually ask him if the invite is still good for Xmas. Then, he MIGHT tell you he needs to talk to his family before he can tell you. And, that should be expected. It would not be very considerate of his parents and family, if he did not ask them, if he could invite someone.

OR he might just tell you COOL, Merry Xmas!!!!!!



- Response by randyl, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Los Angeles, Technical

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"Christmas" is spelled with capital C, just out of basic respect for the fact it's based in a real name, makes it proper grammar.

As for inviting yourself, you didn't... you, turned it down...
the invite was reconsidered, then accepted as being "feasible".

- Response by mikegeeboyd, A Life of the Party, Male, 46-55, Artist / Musician / Writer

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