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My ex left me for another girl and now he wants me back and i want him back. Should i take him back?
Dating / 1:33 AM - Wednesday September 22, 2010

My ex left me for another girl and now he wants me back and i want him back. Should i take him back?

we were together for 4 and a half years. everything was perfect until a week before our break up and then he was acting differently. then we break up cuz he has feelings for his best friend (a girl), this is all a month after our son is born. they get together and im trying to move on so i start talking to a sweet guy who lives out of state and he starts talking about serious stuff, like marriage and kids. and hes supposed to visit me near Halloween and now i dont think i want him to. and now my ex wants me back and says he realizes what he lost and he loves me and always will. I want him back soo bad. i havent been able to eat since our break up and i want our family to be back together and i want him to hold me again. i dont know what the right thing to do is.

- Asked by confusedstef, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 22-25, San Francisco, Who Cares?

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First off, I don't want you to get more upset by what I have to say, I am a "tell it like it is" kind of guy. You are obviously too young to be in the situation you are in and so is he. 18-21 and now saddled with a baby and no husband was a mistake you BOTH made, but he is expecting you to be the one to pay for this mistake, and he realizes that he may have been hasty to rush into this relationship or take it to this level. He wants to sew his wild oats. We ALL do at that age. Just because he's been with you for a while doesn't mean he is committed. But there is hope. I say this because I was in a very similar situation as yours except the fact that I had already put the ring on her finger. I WAS committed and so was she, we were just too young to understand what that should have meant. I advise you to seek out counseling and think of yourself first in this situation. Make a better life for you and your child regardless of whether he is there to support you or not. He may come around in the long run, but you have bigger issues to worry about. Your child deserves to be raised in an atmosphere where they will know that nothing is their fault, with parent(s) who feel as good about their decisions as possible, even if it is difficult to show. Make a better life for yourself and prove to the ex that you don't "need" him, but would like to make it work. If he wants to make it work as well, make sure he goes to counseling with you and does it as a couple. If he truly wants it to work, he'll be more than willing to prove it. Best of luck :)

- Response by dangerdad71, A Life of the Party, Male, 36-45, Seattle, Political / Government

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Community Rating: Community Star

Frankly, the very idea that he vacated a month after you gave birth, is enough to make you continue the distance from him...for any man who would leave a feminine after she has reproduced by him, is a sorry example of a human being.
I would focus more on the other guy, because who is to say, that your ex might not leave you AGAIN for the next woman who is in his eye sight??????????????

- Response by kismet331, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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play it safe and follow your heart! either way you can't lose! keep things flowing with the new guy. tell your ex want the real deal; meaning a ring to show how serious he is before you take him on! let him work for you as much as you want him back! it's gona be hard, but you have to show him that your serious and need to see action! if i were you, i wouldn't put all my eggs in 1 basket! so go for whoever gives you the ring first! ;)
good luck!

- Response by ineedamiracle, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Toronto, Who Cares?

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I AM NEUTRAl IN THIS bUT I dont value him very hIGHlY

- Response by duggers, A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older

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i say don't do it, cuz if he left u for another girl once he may do it again down the road. but if u truly believe he has changed & there's still potential in him then do what ur heart tells u. to me, it seems like ur heart is telling u to take him back or u wouldn't be on here asking for reassurance about your decision, but then again, it also seems like u have doubts in him or else u wouldn't need to ask what other people think about the situation u're in. i don't know how serious u are with ur ex so based on what u're saying i'm just giving a brief input on how guys tend to repeat their mistake if they did it the first time. but overall, take it slow with him & take care of urself with or without him. =)

- Response by kayimaybach, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 22-25, Vancouver

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i don't think it's a good idea for you to get back with a guy who left you while you were giving birth to his child.

- Response by le_gem735713, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Miami, Who Cares?

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- Response by vivian44567898, A Married Girl, Female, 66 or older, Sydney

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- Response by 6fenedoloin99, A Guy Critical, Male, 26-28

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- Response by castiva45, Female, 26-28, Fashion

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- Response by castiva45, Female, 26-28, Fashion

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- Response by frankjacob, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35

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- Response by anounymous, An Engaged Girl, Female, 26-28, Other Profession

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- Response by caston7231, Female, 29-35, Cordoba, Technical

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To err is human to forgive is divine. The choice is yours but at least he didn't cheat on you right he just didn't know at the time what he wanted I would say give him one more chance and if it doesnt work out than at least you tried right

- Response by melissabubble14, A Sportif, Female, 22-25, Edmonton, Medical / Dental

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