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After 2 years of dating ( after the age of 28) shouldn't a man know whether he's going to propose?
Dating / 9:36 PM - Tuesday September 14, 2010

After 2 years of dating ( after the age of 28) shouldn't a man know whether he's going to propose?


- Asked by safekeeping, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Charlotte, Teaching

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I do believe that in 1-2 years a guy knows whether he wants to marry the woman he's with. Sometimes a guy gets comfortable and will date a woman until a better woman comes along. I think you may have to subtlely bring up the conversation of where is this relationship going. I have dated women who told me that dated some guy for up to 10 years. For the life of me, I don't understand why women do these things. Why do you guys let these men waste your time like that? You guys have choices. I agree that the wrong approach is to give the guy an ultimatum. That probably won't turn out good. I think the approach might be to bring up where the relationship is going. If you don't like where it's going then you have to start thinking about your options.

- Response by rjack90, A Career Man, Male, 36-45, Baltimore, Science / Engineering

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You ever thought if you're really the proposing kind, could be every time the thought cross's his mind, you have one of them moments. Oops, today ain't the day. So take reality check, look in the mirror, and always try to be that woman that attracted him to you.

- Response by 2jacksam, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Denver, Self-Employed

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nope. some men keep hoping for the "perfect" girl whomever that is. that guy who is ready is at a point in his life where he knows what kind of girl is actually perfect. what characteristics are important to him and what it means to be in a life long relationship.

- Response by A Creative, Male, 29-35, Vancouver, Technical

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Personally, I don't really believe it's about age or how many years you've been dating. I believe it's more about what your purpose for dating is. I believe a man will exclusively date, propose, and marry, the woman he truly wants to marry, period. Don't look for the excuses or reasons. Just know the facts. The man simply doesn't want to marry at that moment. Now, this could change one day, or it may not. The decision to stay with a man that does not want to marry after so many years and time, is up to the person in the relationship. It isn't about the "he MIGHT want to marry you one day." I believe those who want to get married, go into their dating experience knowing they are looking for a spouse.

They meet a person they are interested in. They date that person exclusively. If the relationship develops it will progress in that direction. There is no guessing, hoping, or wondering. The minute the person is no longer an option for them. They most likely will not date the person anymore, and will might settle for being friends. You don't give anyone that has not committed to you, everything that someone who has committed through marriage would get. Because, this is what causes many to be satisfied and get comfortable getting everything they want while knowing if they ever change their mind about being with the person they are with, they can just walk away. Their commitment is simply to an exclusive relationship UNTIL they meet someone they feel might be a better option.

Seriously, it really doesn't take more than 1-2 years to get to know a person well enough to know if they are someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. Especially, if you both are already doing everything a married couple would do. Living together, buying homes together, and having children together, are just as much of an important decision and commitment. So, if you can decide to start these things with a person, why do you not know if they are also the person you'd want to marry? Marriage is a beautiful thing to desire for you and someone you love. There's nothing wrong with that. However, I do believe it's wrong to keep hinting, nagging, or having discussions, about marriage. Especially, if it's based more upon; age, biological clocks (however valid), what all of your friends are doing or would think; or, what your family think. Also, if you're more in love with the big ring, big wedding, and exotic honeymoon. One must begin to question their own sincerity if this is what drives their strong desire to be married. IMHO IJS

- Response by thelovedovefor1, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Atlanta, Who Cares?

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I would think so.You both have seen all sides of each other.

- Response by frenchkiss49, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Tampa, Who Cares?

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He knows...he knows that what you want and what he wants are two different things...

And he knows he doesn't want to give up his end of things...

So...he waits...until the two of you may come on even ground.

Think about that...really deeply...

- Response by mamom04, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 56-65, Phoenix

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I know you did not ask this...but I am compelled to say. Don't give an ultimatum if he does not propose..or give him a time frame to propose. Do not pick your ring....or anything else for that matter about proposing. A man that is truly in love with a woman will do this all on his own...AND the chances of it lasting are greater....Good luck!

- Response by semperfi73, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, Cincinnati, Executive

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In response to your question I must ask why? If you have an agenda of your own, then it doesn't matter what he thinks... ya think? If you don't have a private plan in place then are you just curious what a man thinks after the age of 28 or after 2 years of dating? He may very well know whether he is going to propose, and that could be your answer. Have you asked him?

I just read this back and it sounds like I am being a smart ass. My appologies if that is the way you see it too. It is meant to help think this through. He may well have decided he is not going to propose. Or he may even be waiting for YOU!

Most of all, since communication is the underpinning of good long term relationships, why not discuss it with him? rek

- Response by rekkonball, A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older, Retired

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Of course he knows, but he might want to continue to play the field of dating, thinking someone better is going to come along.

- Response by kismet331, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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After two years, a woman should know that he won't.

A man often thinks he's found The One, but it takes him time to realize, she's just Another One.

- Response by chesterdad, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, San Francisco

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More like she should know he's NOT going to propose and she needs to move on if she wants marriage and a family.

- Response by msadvise, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Transportation

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No. Five years is the number.

- Response by llafsroh, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Boston, Science / Engineering

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Why ruinin the situation, if youre happy and he's happy then no then to chance things up. Two or four years, you two still getting to know each other. Everyone knows people change after couples get married. Stay happy as long as you can, even if it means no ring on your finger...Have fun and live your life.

- Response by elbesims, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45

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No- some men have trouble spotting golddiggers and need more time. marriage can be a financial disaster for a man if he makes a bad decision. answer this-why be so pushy?

(not saying YOU are a golddiger, but some of your female comrades are)

- Response by A Career Man, Male, 46-55, New York, Who Cares?

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It's entirely dependent on the relationship and the individuals. And even if he knows, it doesn't mean he's ready financially and emotionally. If you have reason to suspect there will be a proposal then why focus on it, it means the relationship is going well. If its been 4 or 5 years then it seems more the time to actively be pushing in that direction.

I have many friends around that age. Many are in relationships that have lasted a few years. However even if it seems that they want to eventually get married, they're just not ready at this time. I also know a pile of people recently married (generally between 25 and 35), and they ranged from dating for 5+ years to 3 (2 when they got engaged).



- Response by A Sweet Sarah, Female, 22-25

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Sorry...I just realized you probably weren't asking that about yourself...You are already married...LOL

- Response by semperfi73, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, Cincinnati, Executive

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