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My wife and I are separated she's telling me to move on with my life so I could be happy
Married Life / 5:03 PM - Tuesday September 14, 2010

My wife and I are separated she's telling me to move on with my life so I could be happy

We have been married for 22 years and yes i had a affair almost 2 years ago. I lost my Job and Mother in the pass 8 months. she's the wife i always dreamed about. We've only been separated 2 months now. I started a few months making changes in my personalitiy to when her trust back. I will do anything for another chance with her? My wife has always felt that dodn't love her. but i do with all my heart and soul. I need to know should I keep fighting for her Love? or just go away?

- Asked by A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Tampa

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If you love her so much, you shouldn't have cheated on her. Better move on.

- Response by catscratch, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Executive

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Community Rating: Community Star

First off I am all for trying to save ones marriage. I think divorce should be your last option. Realistically though she's done! I have been in her shoes and something you are now learning is women can put up with allot of shit, hold on to a failing relationship for years but when the time comes they are spent, done, there is not repairing the relationship. Sounds to me like she has gotten to this point and she doesn't want you wasting your time trying to win her back but instead she is letting go and moving on and hope you will do the same. Unfortunately your revelation that you love your wife and don't want to loose her came a little to late! Sorry I don't have better news here.



- Response by kdtxchic30, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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You have been married to her for so long, you say you love her heart and soul, why would she always feel you don´t love her, I think there is more than just the cheating, what do you think you can do to win her back when after 20 years you cheated on her and she is telling you that she always felt you didn´t love her.

I wont suggest what you should do but think about it man what else is in this relationship that you can do to save it.

- Response by vitamin, A Life of the Party, Male, 36-45, Mexico City, Financial / Banking

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No matter what was happening, (job loss, mother dying), it doesn't give you the excuse to stray. You don't love your wife if you can cheat on her at any point.
She said it's over. Trust me. It's over when we say it is.

- Response by roaminginsomniac, An Alternative Girl, Female, 46-55, Law Enforcement

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Its all about losing your job. Read a good book "Stiffed" by Susan Faludi. Many women leave their husband when he loses his job. you find out that what you thougt was "true love" was all about your paycheck.

She is not being entirely truthful when she says that she "felt you didn't love her." What she is doing is projecting her own feelings becuase she didn't really love you, just wanted your paycheck. When that ended, she left you.

She is an example of the low life that passes for women today. Its all about the money. Read "Stiffed."

- Response by greenwind, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Construction

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If you truly love your wife, give it your best try and show her any way you can that you are sorry about the affair and that you want another chance to show her exactly how much you love her. Make sure you understand why she has always felt you don't love her. You must learn how she needs you to show your love for her. This is called her love language. If she will not go to marriage counseling with you, a counselor can still teach you a better way to show your wife you love her.

- Response by kneadmuscles53, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Tampa, Retired

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