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A man Invites me to dinner but then does not follow up
Dating / 1:40 PM - Sunday September 05, 2010

A man Invites me to dinner but then does not follow up

I've been "friendly" with this man the past couple years but we barely hang out. He invited me to dinner just out of the blue, I said yes but we did not set up wa day/time. So on my only day off during that week, I asked him if dinner was still on and he replied that he lost track and we would go the following week for sure.

The following week I did not hear from him. Why would he even bother asking me out to dinner if he didn't really want to go? I like him very much, He got my hopes up but now I'm just let down. He leaves his work at work come 5 pm so I know he's not busy working...

Is he leading me on? At first I thought maybe he meant to send that invite to someone else because it was through text message..

- Asked by shoegame, A Hippie Chick, Female, 29-35, Other Profession

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He could be stringing you along and he could just be someone who doesn't know what he wants. Either way, you have no control over what he does or doesn't do, only over getting your hopes up to be let down later. A "date" means setting an intention, not just a time and place and is best done on the phone or face to face, not as a text.

- Response by wiserman, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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Initially, he was most likely interested. However, as time went on he lost interest and now is stringing you along until you give up contacting him.

- Response by mantis, A Creative, Male, 18-21

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Community Rating: Community Star

Does you've been "friendly" mean FWBs or f*ck buddy? That makes a bit of a difference. Especially, after two years. This type of communication from a man is indicative of a man that is sharing his time with multiple women. I don't care what type of relationship it is or how busy he could have been. When he asked you to dinner, a date and time should have been committed to, and confirmed.

There is no lost track of time excuse for a woman you truly anticipate being with and don't want to disappoint. He didn't care point blank. He never set a real date. Because, he knew he had another more desired option. You were the back up plan. You are the option if all of the others fall through. Sorry, but he doesn't need you right now. So, that's why you're experiencing such hacked up ass communication. Trust me, move on.

I wouldn't continue to be "friendly" at all with a man that didn't value me, my time, or whose word to me mean absolutely nothing. There's nothing worse than someone initiating something and then acting like they are not interested! He didn't really want to commit to an exact date and time. He stopped communicating with you around the times he spoke of as alternative days. AND! You haven't heard from his ass yet!

So, this alone should tell you exactly what you mean to him. Trust me on this one. Please don't continue to allow this. Move on. Let him know that this isn't acceptable to you. If he try to ask you out again, let him know that you're not interested in dating a guy that thinks your time isn't as valuable as his own. Nor, disrespect you by ignoring you after selling you dreams while you were awake! This dude is texting you. He's not even calling you.

In answer to your question, HELL YEAH, he's leading you on. The truth is, he didn't have to say anything, because he never truly committed to a SPECIFIC date at any of those times when he mentioned you two going out. You were wrong to get your hopes up while in limbo. Next time, make sure you have an exact day and time accepted and confirmed. I don't care who it is. But, this dude is inconsiderate and disrespectful. Even, if there was an emergency, he could have texted or called you by now.

A man that is truly interested in you, will not jeopardize his chances of a relationship with you, by this type of lame inconsiderate behavior. It's a player game to him. And, if you're occasionally hooking up for sex, that's even worse. Because, that's all he views you as. Along with the others. When one doesn't come through he tries with the next one. As long as the one he TRULY wants to spend time with is available. He doesn't care how many half-ass plans he drops with the back-ups. Sorry!

- Response by thelovedovefor1, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Atlanta, Who Cares?

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Scratch that one on the ice.. There are guys like that; then they "change their minds." I wouldn't want to hang waiting for him to call or text.

- Response by pushkins, A Thinker, Female, 66 or older, Miami, Who Cares?

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Sounds like he has another woman. otherwise he would have set an actual date.

Forget about him. Either way he's a flake and that's disrespectful.

- Response by llafsroh, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Boston, Science / Engineering

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lmao hope you werent holding out for the dinner date! go eat! quick! you could starve to death hanging round for that one!

- Response by mortishia99, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Medical / Dental

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"I like him very much, He got my hopes up...."
This is the only problem I see. If it were this situation happening to your GF, you'd not have any question telling her the right decision to make. Let go.... Find someone that is a bit more forthright and honest.


- Response by singledad281, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Houston, Hospitality

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