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I was invited to go out to lunch by a good friend for my birthday. But,
Friendship / 6:08 AM - Wednesday September 01, 2010

I was invited to go out to lunch by a good friend for my birthday. But,

Another girl who I really am polite to, but don't like as a friend but who is good friends with my friend, wants to come.
She is one of those people who is very judgemental, even towards me, yet she thinks she is my friend. She talks about others, laughs at them and is very judgemental and in my opinion a big hypocrite.
I don't want to go to lunch with both of them. My friend, the girl who is really my friend, really wants me to go. I don't talk about the other girl but am polite to her when she is present even though sometimes she is not polite to me. I don't tell my friend how little I care for her, because she is good friends with her and I don't want to start drama.
Should I just cancel or go because my friend really wants to take me I will just tolerate the other girl being there.


- Asked by Female, 36-45

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It is your birthday and you should be able to celebrate with whoever you want to.

You really need to talk to your friend and tell her that you realize the other woman is her friend, but you really don't enjoy being around her and why. If it starts "drama", I guess that will let you know you really don't need to be around either of them.

A real friend would understand how you feel and not give you a hard time about it.

Hopefully, your friend and you can have a nice lunch together and celebrate your birthday together.

Good Luck.





- Response by mrscleaver16, A Married Girl, Female, 66 or older

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If it were my birthday, I probably would not go. Why place yourself around someone like that, especially on YOUR day!?? I would just make other arrangements with your friend to do something another time.........

- Response by praisegod, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Self-Employed

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Community Rating: Community Star

Tell your friend you appreciate the invite but since she has already invited her other friend, that you do not want to interfere with their lunch plans. Be honest, its your birthday, you have the right to spend it with people whose company you enjoy. Tell your friend to make plans with you when just the 2 of you can go. She will eventually get the hint that you do not want to hang out with her sarcastic friend. Its your day, don't let others ruin it for you. Just cancel and make plans with your friend when the other girl is not included. Tolerating her hypocritical friend will make you a hypocrite as well.

- Response by 3wiltedroses, A Creative, Female, Who Cares?, Self-Employed

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Just tell your good friend that it was sweet of her to invite you out to birthday lunch but that perhaps you can take a raincheck when just the two of you can go out to celebrate because you'd rather just spend time with her.

- Response by hulagirl55, A Sportif, Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

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I would go.If she is rude call her out on it.Don't let her get away with it.

- Response by frenchkiss49, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Tampa, Who Cares?

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Just ignore her. your friend should know you don't like her and shouldnt make you two sit through that lunch together.

- Response by lady_kryptonite, A Thinker, Female, 26-28

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It is YOUR birthday and although it might be a "sticky" situation to inform your friend that you would like just the two of you to go it will be for the best in the future.

- Response by msgg, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Managerial

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I just cancel some drama will happen if you go!

- Response by twilightzone85, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 29-35, Milwaukee, Food Service

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...well, you know as well as I do which course of action to take, yes.....you must throw the judgemental bitch overboard from a cruise ship........you KNOW this is the only way to deal with the evil wench properly.

....I won't keep you any longer as YOU'VE got some cruise tickets to reserve!.....HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

- Response by namebecarl, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 36-45, Oostende

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Tolerate and have fun with a friend who invited you out..Smile!

- Response by cjs1991, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Teaching

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If you cancel, can you come up with a reasonable excuse other than "I don't like your friend and don't want her coming along?" Your friend wants to take you out for your birthday. So another person comes too. Just grit your teeth and try to enjoy things. Plus you get a free meal out of it.

- Response by mikehug, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Cleveland

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Well, it won't be a pleasant lunch for you. Why not change it to having dinner out instead? When she won't be available or you can "hide" the fact from her.

- Response by pushkins, A Thinker, Female, 66 or older, Miami, Who Cares?

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It's your birthday. You shouldn't have to tolerate anything you're uncomfortable with. Tell your "good friend" that you want to celebrate your birthday with just her. There's nothing wrong with telling her you are not comfortable around the other girl.

- Response by peaceandlove, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 46-55, New York, Home Maker

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Call a spade, a spade! Just state how you feel. What's the worse that can happen. Someone that you don't really like finds out that you really don't like her...She will be ok, and get over it. You should let someone ruin your mood

- Response by pippendc13, A Rebel, Male, 29-35, San Diego, Military

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Just b/c she is her friend doesn't mean you have to be her friend. Just tell her the truth simple as that. If she is a true friend,she'll understand.

- Response by misskitty420, A Cool Mom, Female, 29-35, Student

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