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I am very miserable, don't know what to do
Dating / 11:52 PM - Sunday August 22, 2010

I am very miserable, don't know what to do

I am alone and very lonely.
I need a man in my life and this is the only thing occupy my brain.
Yes I have good education and a great job. I am very friendly until recently.
I am not happy for what I got.. I am alone.
Lately, I cannot stand being around people. I lost my interest in socializing.

I did all the things people recommend to single [ I have friends, a job, gym time, a hobby] I traveled a lot. I did all of these things for the past 20 years and here I am alone!

- Asked by Female, 36-45

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I'm sorry that you feel the way you do...it's true people sometimes don't understand the importance of having romantic love in your life...it's sad that our society today is gearing everyone towards careers and living the single successful life instead of finding a life partner to spend your life with...try to be as positive as you can, which i know is hard...but it's the only way you can attract a man into your life...no man wants to be a half of a miserable person...you need to be able to show him that you are already leading a wonderful life (which you are!)...and how much fun he would have to join you!...work on it and think positively that a man will come into your life...the universe works in mysterious ways, you may just get what you want...also, why not try internet dating? it really works...just be cautious and scrupulous with who you meet, but you can meet great guys that way...good luck to you!...smile and the world smiles with you ;)

- Response by lunargirl83, A Trendsetter, Female, 26-28, Montreal, Student

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I studied so much in school that I let that part of me be put on hold. I think it was more important to me that I fulfill my own dreams. I find the guy who has his own thing going will catch up with me. I look forward to what is out there.

- Response by chucklesmcgee, A Career Woman, Female, 29-35, Medical / Dental

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Community Rating: Community Star

You're not alone, you're lonely. Big difference.

I enjoy time alone. You need balance though.

Think positive, it's all about perspective.

...:)


- Response by bluegenel, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, Who Cares?, Technical

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sorry...i don't want to ramblebut IJS
read your post and pictue/imagine how
you would respond!?! alone and lonely
are very different IMO. best to you.
peace. kitkat

- Response by kitkat19, A Thinker, Female, 56-65

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if your so lonely try online dating.

even if u dnt meet anyone, ppl flirting with u will bring u self confidence

- Response by kakayan123, A Thinker, Female, 22-25

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Take A Look At ME!
<<<<<<<<<<<<<

I'm HERE! ain't I?

- Response by fehkarfight, A Couch Potato, Male, 46-55, Who Cares?

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I have felt that way too, and once in a while, it bothers me more than other times, so I think I can relate.

However, this is what I think: we should figure out how to deal with disappointment. Should our happiness be determined by a man? What is it about this person that would give us happiness? Aside from the obvious, can we find some of that in other people/ activities/ situations? What if this man turns out to be a flake? I am not denying the importance of being with someone, to share, to love etc. And unfortunately the world we live in is very couply. I end up choosing the not-so-couply activities. I have a few single friends and we go out for dinner. I avoid weddings unless it's for some close family member or really close friend. I avoid kids' birthday parties because I don't want to talk about diapers and married life and what people do as a family/ as a couple.

However, Some people want children, for years they try... eventually they accept they can't have any, and some choose to adopt a child. You look at them now, they are happy. Some people were married, but the spouse died prematurely... some choose to be single/ some re-marry. Some lost their dream jobs. Some continue to mope around but some became entrepreneurial and do something with their skills.

Anyway, yes, I know some people are worse off than us. That's not really the point. However, I keep reminding myself that it's really up to us to find happiness.

- Response by A Hippie Chick, Female, 26-28

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I don't think it's a man you need. You should see a good psychologist and talk about this. It sounds like you're very depressed and no relationship is going to fix this. You have to fix yourself before you're relationship material.

- Response by electragold21, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, New York, Teaching

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Yes you are alone but you are not lonely..and you did the things you needed for you..you jumped into life and did wait..for something to happen to you..now take that and get up and get back out there again..I promise it will happen for you..Smile!

- Response by cjs1991, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Teaching

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You will never attract a man in your life if that is all you our focussed on is getting a man. Trust me I know! Men can smell desperation a mile away. Start loving yourself and liking yourself and stop thinking about finding a man. Once guys know that you're not looking for a man that is when you will attract tons of guys! Also guys like confident women that like themselves. Start making friends with guys first. I was in your shoes a year ago and couldn't get any guy interested in me. Now I have tons of interest for the simple fact that I stopped looking for a man.

- Response by A Sportif, Female, 36-45, Vancouver, Who Cares?

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You are obviously depressed. You meet each and every criteria for it.

The only thing I can see from what you have written is that you only complain of ONE specific problem: Not having a man in your life.

That could be part of the problem. Like a Catch 22, you are sad and depressed because there is no man in your life; and there is no man in your life because you appear depressed and un-approachable. And, on it goes...

Until you learn how to be a happy and well rounded person on your own, nobody else is going to be attracted to sharing the same space you live in. You could be the sweetest and most loving gal on this planet, but HE will never know that.

My Grandma used to tell me: Why would you expect anyone else to want to be around you, if you don't even want to be alone with yourself? That is what she would say to bring me out of a deep funk. It usually worked. :)

- Response by randyl, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Los Angeles, Who Cares?

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