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I love my girlfriend but I am not sexually attracted to her.
Sex & Intimacy / 5:21 PM - Friday August 20, 2010

I love my girlfriend but I am not sexually attracted to her.

My girlfriend and I have lived together for half a year. We've known each other for over 10 years. She is perfect for me emotionally. She doesnt know I have sexual issues with her. She does not physically turn me on and I cant hide it much longer. We can talk for hours and we do EVERYTHING together. Every aspect of our relationship is great except for our sex life. I've tried many things but I end up losing my "frisky-ness?" in the middle of sex. I say this at the risk of sounding shallow. She is the opposite, physically, of what I want in a girl. I am still in love with her. I cant lose her just because of something so little. If there is anything I can do to fix it I want to. Ill just push my through it if i have to but if there is a alternative id like to know it.

- Asked by Male, 26-28

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You can't be in love with her...... because if you were in love with her you would be in love with everything about her - including her physical features. You would find her incredibly attractive....

I'm in love with a man right now who wasn't my physical "type"...... but I love everything about him and find him INCREDIBLY attractive. Everything from the smell of his hair, the texture of his skin, to how he looks when he's getting older, to his butt, his voice, the smell of his breath, all of those things and more (I could go on and on)....

But I also had a friendship with a guy who was exactly like me and we would talk for hours and hours..... I felt so comfortable with him and felt like we had grown up together....

Maybe you have a deep familial (family-like) friendship with this girl and love her like a friend or member of your own family....... but I would guess you're probably not "in love" with her...

that doesn't sound like a healthy relationship....



- Response by An Alternative Girl, Female, 29-35, New York

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Community Rating: Community Star

Get her a wig? Implants? Skin lightener? Costumes?

In any long term sexual relationship, fantasy becomes increasingly important, starting off with the need to change things to feel "frisky" ? Not so much... Stick to being very good friends and find a different woman to be your life long partner...

- Response by siouxzen, A Creative, Female, Who Cares?, Los Angeles, Self-Employed

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Oh yeah..... I didn't finish my thought....

the guy that I had a lot in common with that I felt like I had grown up with him.... I didn't find him sexually attractive either... But we had so much in common and could talk for hours...

I cared for him like a friend but I wasn't in love with him.

good luck


- Response by An Alternative Girl, Female, 29-35, New York

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Are you experiencing a lack of desire for the one YOU love?

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- Response by fehkarfight, A Couch Potato, Male, 46-55, Who Cares?

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In the middle of sex?

Maybe she's not the one.

And you should get your testosterone checked.

- Response by llafsroh, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Boston, Science / Engineering

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You are the problem, not she,

- Response by duggers, A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older

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First off, no matter how hard it is, you have to be honest with her. Sex is huge in a relationship and it's not worth really screwing things up by cheating on her. Sounds to me as if you're better off friends than lovers.

- Response by busyb704, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Other Profession

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get some balls and talk to her about this situation.
it is not going away anytime soon until both of you talk about it.

- Response by amandasboy, A Father Figure, Male, Who Cares?, Other Profession

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