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She just cancelled our first meeting, grrr.
Dating / 7:36 PM - Wednesday August 18, 2010

She just cancelled our first meeting, grrr.

So I had a first meeting set up for today in a few hours from a girl who had pursued me on a dating site. She just sent me a text saying she was sorry but she had to reschedule cuz her friend was having problems. I don't know what to think at this point cuz she seemed pretty interested since she actally called me sunday before I had a chance to call her once we exchanged numbers and she did so with the purpose of setting a date.

I just sent her a text back saying aww that sucks, I hope everything is ok and I haven't heard anything else. She has been the aggressor so I don't know what to think about this. She seems like a pretty good match for me so I had/have high hopes for her. I want to assume the best that there is a very legit reason for this but I don't want to keep my hopes up if she is just flaking. I guess I should hear something by tonight or tomorrow and if not then I should just forget about her. Thoughts?

Update: August 18, 2010.
I kind of felt the same way that her excuse was flimsy. The only legit friend excuse I can think of would be like if her friend's mom died or something but I think she would have said that, tho she did mention in our phone call that she was taking a friend to a dr appt on monday so I don't know if that has anything to do with it. Maybe she did get cold feet but that would be a huge 180 to go from putting herself out there to call me first, she only had my number for hours when she called, with the intent of nailing down a meeting to flaking out from sun to wed; I didn't contact her after sun but I don't think that would have anything to do with it. She really strikes me as a very kind hearted and sincere person and we have a whole lot in common, which is y I liked her, so I am at a loss.

- Asked by aron77, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 36-45, Kansas City, Celebrity

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Deal Breaker.. that is just rude unless there is an emergency... friend having problems? sorry sounds lame

don't even contact her at this point.. if she contacts you thats fine go with that but otherwise it sounds pretty weak.

- Response by smartblond, A Sweet Sarah, Female, Who Cares?, Charlotte, Self-Employed

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Oh, no. I'm so sorry. I have seen your prior posts and I know how nervous you've been about meeting her. That is SO disappointing when people bail on you at the last minute like that.

I think smartblonde is right. Unless you're bleeding to death, it's rude to cancel a first date. "...a friend having problems..."??? That is very nebulous, and sounds like a fib. It would seem like she's not interested in making a good first impression, or the fact that this could put you out. That's a shame.

- Response by justpassingthru, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Financial / Banking

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Oh, I'm so disappointed for you! Who knows if she got cold feet or if she is the go-to gal for other people's problems. Wait a couple days, then call her and invite her to meet again soon. Be specific about when, don't leave it open ended. This way you will know for sure.

- Response by maryea, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Retired

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Either shes telling the truth or she had some "dating jitters". You havent met her yet so there is nothing to lose on your side if she calls it off permanently, at least as early as now you knew that she is not consistent (if thats the case). Yes dont keep your hopes way too high about her but do not give up easily as well. Give her a couple of days if she has not gotten in touch with you then move on and find someone who would tickle your fancy...goodluck :)

- Response by asianlovely13, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, London, Managerial

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Aww, sorry :( I am all about second chances and giving the benefit of the doubt...but cancelling a first date with such a flimsy, half hearted excuse is just rude. I agree with the earlier posters...

I would just chalk this one up to experience and move on...good luck :)

- Response by kaffroake, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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Crack a beer and relax.
Check out more chicks and do your thang.
If you hear back, cool.
If not, keep movin' man. Gotta be cool wit it, there's plenty of honeyz out there.

- Response by A Hip Hop Guy, Male, 66 or older

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They don't call her SMARTBLONDE for nothin'...... :)

That is the WORSE EXCUSE to cancel a date TWO HOURS before the scheduled meeting. That is BS........Aron, I think she is a game player.....One of those girls that just wants to see how far she can get a guy to jump......

I'm really sorry.......because I've seen your posts and know you were excited.......but forget this one. Unless someone was in an accident or dead, she should not have cancelled.

- Response by zibet58, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Teaching

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Confession time for me....I JUST did this (good thing I don't live in Kansas City or I would worry if it was you). Basically - broke up with a man I loved, thought I would try some dating sites to get over it. Met a guy I liked a lot even if he was a bit short for my taste, I admit I liked him enough that I kept initating contact and what not and we obviously had a mutual interst in each other. We had made plans for our first date to be tomorrow. But the man I was already in love with came back around yesterday and we had the "getting back together serious and long term" talk, I could still go on the date with this new guy but honestly I'm ready to reconnect with my bf. I also don't want to hash out the details with the new guy so I just sent him a text and said "sorry, having home issues, can't make tomorrow night". To be honest I will never contact him again, if he keeps pushing I will tell him about bf. I'm mean obviously there is no telling at all what her sceneario is but it all sounds similar....and yes it is a version of very cowardly flaking.

- Response by christywinter97, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Artist / Musician / Writer

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Women on online dating sites that I actually want to meet are rare. If it were me I would be open to rescheduling. It isn't like that means you have to put dating other women on hold.

- Response by A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55, Technical

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Hmmm well hopefully she didn't chicken out or anything like that and if that is the case...figet about haar. But...might be a big but, but maybe she felt she was coming on too strong and since you weren't in contact with her after she made the date she felt a little too aggressive with you and wanted to tone it down..what you can do if you're still interested and you haven't heard back from her is to send her a message just telling her that you hope her friend stuff is all better and that you wanna know if such a date and time would be good for her. See how that works out for ya...if she's still acting the fool just let it go (at least you would have known you tried) but if she really wants to make it up to you and finally meet up then things will happen. Luck!

- Response by trace2010, A Trendsetter, Female, 29-35, Administrative

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I love how a lot of people who have no significant others in their lives at all for whatever reason (they're obese, physically displeasing, impossible to live with because they can't get along with other people like normal human beings, etc) will tell you to "just forget it." Apparently they've forgotten a lot of things in their lives, including the need to have actual lives. ;)

Also, what is this idiocy with believing that the woman who cancels a date should have a death in the family or be dead herself and only this will be a suitable reason that she canceled? Why are YOU and this date so important that she needs an important reason for canceling? She didn't choose to meet you when she initially thought meeting would be a good idea. THat was her decision. Pretending that you are the most important thing in the lives of people you have never actually met before and expecting others to behave accordingly is a great way to remain single.

What you should do: Let her reschedule the date and accept any excuses she makes for canceling dates. It's not like you're a prince of England and can get any woman in the world. ;)

- Response by electragold21, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, New York, Teaching

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It has been my experience that any time a woman punks out on the first date is the kiss of death. I never give them a second chance although usually they don't even want that second chance.

- Response by gilpill, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Chicago, Internet / New Media

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