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At a new years eve party, my husband let his friend have sex with me while I was passed out.
Married Life / 9:45 AM - Friday August 13, 2010

At a new years eve party, my husband let his friend have sex with me while I was passed out.

I had taken a nerve pill as did my husband, my husband friend and his friend's girlfriend. Id never taken one before (or any kind of drugs, perscription or otherwise). It knocked me flat on my ass but the other 3 were fine. My husband asked his friend if he wanted to swap partners and he did, so my husband had sex with the other girl while his friend has sex with me. That was almost 4 years ago and im still not over it. I just cant get past it. Ive tried to hold the marriage together bc he said he was messed up too and that he was so sorry, and we have two kids. But hes told me that its time to get over it that it was nothing. Am I stupid to think that it was just a mistake and that he really does love me. Hes also texted a girl behind my back and deleted it so I wouldnt see the text messages. I only found out about it when I was looking at the bill details online.

- Asked by A Cool Mom, Female, 29-35, Administrative

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RUN, take your kids, and get your butts to a shelter. Think of it this way - if he did something that despicable to you, what's he going to do to your children??

- Response by myrtletyrtle, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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Well, I can kind of understand the switch at the party, but still, that was a terrible thing that happened and it may take some marriage counseling for the both of you, so you can discuss everything that's upsetting you, regarding this matter. However, it's a different story when you say he was texting another woman behind your back, then deleting them! That is like lying to you. Why did he have to delete the messages? It sounds like there was some "monkey business" going on there, whatever that could be. I'd try to get to the bottom of that issue, as well. But one thing at a time. You two have a lot to work through and have to decide whether your marriage is worth salvaging, or if you just can't get over it, or not. I wish you luck and take care!!

- Response by suzyscorp, A Trendsetter, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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I want you to read your own post. Seriously read it. What you tell a friend or even a daughter if she was going through this situation.

I think you already know what you need to do....

That is all

- Response by imunique1, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Other Profession

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In his mind he new it was wrong no drug can make you forget that you are his wife. if you cant get past it maybe he should go away for awhile like move out. but to talk about it is your best medince for you the hell with him. Jay

- Response by jay196644, A Rebel, Male, 46-55, Columbus, Other Profession

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Why did you stay? Waiting for him to do something worse? He's a lying, cheater, and he will do something worse. Leave. Now.

- Response by roaminginsomniac, An Alternative Girl, Female, 46-55, Law Enforcement

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cut his nuts off!

- Response by A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Who Cares?

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a public forum i dont feel is the appropriate place for me or anyone else to post a TRUTHFUL response to this. email me back here on answerology or email me at this same sn at aol.com. ill send you a private message then well talk.

god bless, lisa

- Response by u2joshuadesireu, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Medical / Dental

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I am sorry that happened to you. It looks like your "husband" used you to get to sleep with another woman. He doesn't want to be faithful to you and wants to explore. It's better to let him go because you will be better off without him. Good luck!

- Response by sexyvioletta, A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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I only have two questions....Are you nuts...why are you still with this jerk?

- Response by seajaih, Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

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So this incident would have been OK if you hadn't caught him secretly texting another woman? You were both on drugs when the incident happened but only he is responsible? I am not sensing your one bad experience with drugs and partner swapping is really your issue. Obviously you are paranoid about him cheating on you, you have been searching for evidence of that and now you have found it.

Whether the relationship is salvageable after catching him cheating depends upon if you were doing things to drive him to cheat. Did you gain 50 pounds, start fights, make coming home painful? If so then there is hope that you can change and this can be worked out. If you didn't give him any justification for cheating then I wouldn't say the relationship can or should be saved.

- Response by A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55, Technical

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Don't let any of these assholes try and make you think that any of it was your fault EVER! No matter how many pills you took, it was without your concent! I don't know who that jerk is that tried to tell you that his cheating is your fault, but screw him too. I don't care if you gained 100lbs, bitch all day, or whatever. If he doesn't like it he knows where the door is, he doesn't have to cheat on you. That's the problem with fourums like this. You get some good advice and then there are some that give you the worst possible advice. Bottom line it was NOT your fault at all!!!

- Response by 1flyonthewall, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Columbus, Self-Employed

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and the worst part could be you slept through it so u do not know how good it was or maybe u would have replaced him by now :(

- Response by bigcurt, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Pittsburgh, Self-Employed

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