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He always wants to talk but doesnt want to see me???
Dating / 9:00 AM - Thursday August 12, 2010

He always wants to talk but doesnt want to see me???

What's to be said about an ex who still wants to talk to you every single day but makes excuses not to see you ever?? I dont get it.

We've been split for a few years, have grown past everything and are good friends. ONLINE. He lives down the street from me, so there's really no excuse. We were going for coffee and beers for awhile there but now in the last 6 months, he suggests it "maybe we should do beers next week when Im off"...then that whole week he's off work goes by and he doesnt bother going through with it. Says he was busy all week but he wanted to, etc.

Obviously I dont expect to see him all the time..he has a gf that he's been with since almost right after he and I split..so Im not demanding any time of him. HE always suggests it, then backs out. HE emails me all day long, texts me, msgs me all night on MSN...he likes talking to me I know..but when it comes to hanging out..he seems to have some sort of complex about it.

Any ideas? HE bailed on me AGAIN this week (he gets a week off a month from work..so its not like he doesnt have time..especially living 5 minutes away...and her away at school.) Should I say something?? Tell Im bored of waiting on a friend who hasnt had time in 6 MONTHS to grab a coffee or beer? I know he knows Im upset..but I feel like telling him whats the point of this online friend shit if he cant be bothered to ever get together...


- Asked by sunnyd, An Alternative Girl, Female, 29-35, Toronto, Technical

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He just wants to know he has a cushion (you) to fall on if he and his girl split, or if they have a fight.

IMHO, you oughtta focus on more positive pursuits and NOT make anymore plans with him- doing that causes you to put more energy into him- even if just a friend- rather than someone who is reliable and you can actually do things with.



- Response by annandfam, A Thinker, Female, 46-55

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You have to ask yourself this question, why do you want to hang out with him so bad? It's nice that you two have been talking and developed a friendship but is it really healthy to hang out often? It's possible that he's keeping you on the side in case his girlfriend decides to bail, he has someone to turn to. It also might be that he's keeping his friendship with you a secret from his current gf and she previously had a problem with the two of you seeing each other. I recently came across an article on a blog that I think might help you decipher this friendship with your ex; http://blog.leftos.com/ how-to-stay-friends-wit h-your-ex#more-1817

- Response by beachbunni23, A Life of the Party, Female, 26-28, Miami

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Lose him, your wasting your time.

i bet you can find WAY better,

- Response by lady_kryptonite, A Thinker, Female, 26-28

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His gf is keeping him busy. . . Sounds like you are starting to worry and this is going nowhere. Go on, go out, have some fun, and forget about him. Probably when you stop, he'll come around to see if you're still there on the sidelines for him. What do you think?


- Response by elevatorup, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?

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it's better you find other people to hang out with.

- Response by le_gem735713, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Miami, Who Cares?

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