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Why does my boyfriend have no problem making plans with his friends, but doesn't make plans with me?
Dating / 9:13 AM - Tuesday August 10, 2010

Why does my boyfriend have no problem making plans with his friends, but doesn't make plans with me?

Yeah sometimes he invites me to things, but in general he seems to be wanting to chill with his friends [more] then me. o_O

- Asked by Female, 22-25

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Your BF wants to be with his friends. Not with you. If he wanted to be with you, he would BE with YOU. Move on sister.

- Response by clueless37, An Alternative Girl, Female, 36-45, Celebrity

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Community Rating: Community Star

Rather than asking a bunch of people who don't know you "Why," why not talk to him. Tell him you're feeling neglected. I wouldn't be at all surprised if he's thinking "she'll tell me if there's a problem." You don't say anything, he thinks he's cool. So sit him down and tell him how you feel. Lay it all out there and he'll have no excuse for not knowing how you feel.

- Response by mikehug, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Cleveland

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Plans are what you make with "others." You don't need plans with "US."


- Response by greenwind, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Construction

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Why not just make plans with your own friends and not wait to be invited to be apart of his plans? Get busy living your own life...you're only young once don't waste your youth worrying and waiting for this guy (or any guy) to want to spend time with you.

- Response by destinyseeker, A Career Woman, Female, 36-45, Teaching

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He probably thinks it's OK with you for some reason. You need to tell him how you feel.

He might be too immature for a relationship too ... you just have to talk to him about it.

- Response by mrscleaver16, A Married Girl, Female, 56-65

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You're an "also ran." Face it; get out of your situation - his interest in you has long since waned and died.

- Response by pushkins, A Thinker, Female, 66 or older, Miami, Who Cares?

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If you're not making an effort to make plans with him, you need to start because this is your wake up call.

If you ARE trying to make plans and he's always "busy" yet has all the time in the world to spend with his friends, it's over. Been there, dumped that.

- Response by lizarella, An Alternative Girl, Female, 22-25

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I have to agree with what Mike up there said - have you told him this is a problem? If you've never acted like it's a problem he probably thinks you're cool with it. He even may think it's incredibly cool that you are cool with it.

I do the same thing, when my bf is home from deployment or training he likes to spend tons of time with his guy friends, doing guy stuff, I tell him I'm fine with it and don't mind waiting for him (which is true, I want him to enjoy himself doing stuff that doesn't have anything to do with me). He tells me I'm a rare woman to think that way and he really appreciates it. Then inevitably at some point I start getting over emotional and upset if he hasn't spent time with me for awhile, thinking he doesn't want to spend time with me, he likes his friends more, he's lost interest in me, I should find someone else....and then I have to slap myself with the reality of - he has NO idea I want time with him, or I'm missing him because I've been telling him all along it was fine with me that he was with his friends. I have never once told him "I need to see you today or I'm going to get really upset", the one time I did tell him I was upset over not seeing him when I thought I would he was flabbergasted that I was pouting - again it was because all along I was telling him I was ok with it.
You need to talk to him about it and not jump to conclusions, assume things, think he can read your mind or wonder what it means.

- Response by christywinter97, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Artist / Musician / Writer

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It really is very simple you are not a priority in his life. Now if you can live with this then stay with him otherwise you may want to rethink your relationship all together. I would suspect age has allot to do with his behavior. He's just not at a point where having a girlfriend is that important to him.

- Response by kdtxchic30, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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