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Why is it that men are so hot and cold? they come on strong at first and then they slow WAY down.
Dating / 3:59 AM - Saturday August 07, 2010

why is it that men are so hot and cold? they come on strong at first and then they slow WAY down.

i've been talking (texting mostly)with this guy that i met online for a little over a month. he came on really strong at first talking about how hot i was and how sexy i was (by looking at my pics). we met once for dinner and we both decided that we wanted to go out again. we continued to text (very little talking on the phone) and things started to heat up. we're REALLY attracted to each other and have shared videos and pics.

he doesnt live very far from me, so thats not an issue. we can just never seem to pick a day to meet again that one of us cant make it. he has a 10 year old son that he keeps a lot and i have a 2 year old baby, so finding a babysitter can be an issue for me sometimes. i asked him from the beginning if he had a problem with me having a baby and he said no and after talking with him, i can tell it doesnt bother him.

my problem is this; he came on REALLY strong at first and now he barely talks to me. he used to text me all during the day and some at night. now i'm lucky if i get a text at all. when i confront him about his interest in me, he doesnt tell me that he is losing interest, he tells me that he wants me.

so my question is this; if he wants me then why is he being so stand offish? why did he back off so quick? at first things were great, now i dont know. can anyone help me? give me some answers? tell me what to do?

thanks to all for any answers you can provide.

- Asked by Female, 46-55

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sorry- but he sounds like a commitmentphobe. period. I had the same problem and the guy didnt even have kids.
quit texting him. only respond if he texts/ calls you.
see other ppl.

- Response by figuringitout, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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I think it is very hard to maintain a relationship by text alone. I understand that it is a convienent way to communicate, but it is a hard way to keep a relationship going. A relationship needs face to face contact and needs more than just texting and pictures can provide. I understand how finding time to have a relationship can be difficult when you both have kids, but if the interest really is there on both ends, you will find the time to be together. I think he is intersted, but could be busy, but even that shouldn't stop him from finding time to be with you. I say, give him some time. STOP contacting him, let HIM contact YOU. If he is truly intested in you, he WILL contact you.(If you continue to contact him, you will come off as being deperate and needy and that WILL turn him OFF faster than anything else will) If he chooses not to contact you, then you will know he isn't/wasn't really interested, and you can move on.

- Response by iamboo2, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Charlotte, Therapist

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He may be looking for convenient sex, and probably found it elsewhere. Still shopping around, he might settle for you if he doesn't find someone easier.

- Response by thundermist04167, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Who Cares?

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I smell a rat hun a man who still has a wife or Mother of child with his 10 year old boy around . and u are only a FWB to him, when he wants it and when he can get away .. as u said.. u both txt often during the day and SOME at night mmmmm Now if he was that interested in u and as u say he dont live away he would be there an in contact with u more often .. There is differently someone else in the picture no doubt about it ..

- Response by berri, A Career Woman, Female, 46-55, New South Wales, Who Cares?

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