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Question about "He's Just Not That Into You." When a guy says he isn't looking to commit...
Dating / 8:13 PM - Wednesday August 04, 2010

Question about "He's Just Not That Into You." When a guy says he isn't looking to commit... it because you are not the right person? Or is it really because he doesn't want a relationship?

- Asked by A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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This question was always sort of a mystery to me. that and i was probably just in complete denial that all the guys i was dating "wasn't looking for a relationship 'right now'"

I made the mistake of saying "me either" when i heard this, thinking they would come around.

DONT DO THAT. Be straight up with them. Tell them that you aren't limiting your options to flighty relationships and are looking for something with a little stability.

The answer to your question: He's just not that into you. He is a commitment phobe and/or doesn't like you all that much but he wants to keep you around just in case.

You should get that book (He's just not that into you) if you haven't read it. I loved it!

- Response by chelseaseed75, A Life of the Party, Female, 26-28

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It's his lame a** way of saying that he just wants a lay & nothing else. Sex with no strings or commitment. In other words, it's all about him getting his rocks off.

- Response by syncaset, A Creative, Male, 46-55, Dallas, Artist / Musician / Writer

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Community Rating: Community Star

He is probably letting you down easy. A man will always go for a relationship if he is interested enough in the woman.

- Response by jophus, A Rebel, Male, 29-35, Artist / Musician / Writer

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It's because he's just not into you. Not personal, it's just if you were the right person he wouldn't want to pass you up. So yes, he wants to keep his options open.

- Response by melmac, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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What difference does it make? They both end up being the same thing in the end for you. If you're looking for a relationship, he's not the one who's going to give it to you. Find someone who will instead of wasting your time with this one.

- Response by jess2481, A Life of the Party, Female, 36-45, Cincinnati, Other Profession

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It could be either. He could just be trying to let you down east, but I would be far more likely to believe that you can rely on exactly what he says rather than searching for some hidden meaning that requires explanation.

- Response by mikehug, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Cleveland

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it's because he's clueless at this point....give him a little time but not a whole lot. ladies can be the samee. good luck

- Response by imissit, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 66 or older, Who Cares?

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If a man tells you who he is, BELIEVE HIM. 99 times out of 100 there is no hidden meaning behind ANYTHING he says.

We women just want there to be because we are seemingly physically INCAPABLE of accepting a direct answer to any question.

In conclusion: When a guy says he isn't looking for a commitment? IT'S BECAUSE HE IS NOT LOOKING FOR A COMMITMENT!!!!!


- Response by hnygrl, A Career Woman, Female, 46-55, Managerial

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It doesn't matter because either way if you are looking for a bf or more, he's not the guy...

- Response by ebm3, A Trendsetter, Female, 36-45, Self-Employed

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Good on him for saying straight up he not looking for a committed relationship .. Its nothing personal about u hun he wants his cake and eat it toooo in other words root who ever when ever he wants and not be with the same person and is NOT READY to have a real committed relationship..

- Response by berri, A Career Woman, Female, 46-55, New South Wales, Who Cares?

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Could be either possibility. I think it's mostly that the guy cherishes his freedom, and doesnt want to be tied down to a single person. Often men change their tune when they mature and realize they let a great gal go.

- Response by betterbird, A Creative, Male, 46-55, San Francisco, Administrative

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he doesnt want to part with his money if you decide to leave.

- Response by A Career Man, Male, 46-55, New York, Who Cares?

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He's just not that into you. Girls think guys are committment phobes, yet in reality more men get married at least once in their life than women. So apparently women are the commitment phobes

- Response by lmarks, A Life of the Party, Male, 29-35, Los Angeles, Who Cares?

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