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My boyfriends penis is too big! Help!
Sex & Intimacy / 11:14 PM - Monday August 02, 2010

My boyfriends penis is too big! Help!

Apparently "my boyfriend is too big" with the details being sex is too painful was obviously not too obvious that i was talking about his PENIS. Im 18..so dont tell me to have a baby bc i dont want to...My boyfriend has a big penis and i have a small vagina. Sex with him is extremely painful...it just feels like the first time, every time, and sometimes i even bleed a little bit. I've had sex with smaller guys and i loved it, but i didnt love them. I was wondering if anyone had any advice to make the sex with my boyfriend actually enjoyable?

- Asked by bcurran08, A Thinker, Female, 18-21

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OK...an anon with a total of two questions asked about the BIG penis and 12 unrated responses....this does not seem on the "up and up". Anything else to offer?

- Response by mrwondering11, A Creative, Male, Who Cares?, Portland, Managerial

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Since you do not mention exactly HOW he is too big, and you state that he hurts you, WHEN you are having sex...

I take that to mean that you CAN have sex, but it just penetrates too deeply; and THAT hurts?

You can put things between your bodies (like a pillow) to create extra space, so that when he thrust forward, he cannot enter as deeply. You can also find different positions that allow for more space between the two of you. And, you can tell him NOT to try and push as hard as he can.

Children do not necessary affect this issue. I have had two children and since that time, there have been two people that I could not have sex with; period; could not begin to get it inside of me. But, both were too wide around. And, there is no work around for that problem. I had to stop seeing them.

That is all I can think of that might help you. One person cannot fix this. It will take both of you being considerate of the problem.

- Response by randyl, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Los Angeles, Technical

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Pain will subside, use lube, and tell him to be slow and gentle, being turned on alot helps too. if it is still too painful then have your gyno check out your cervix for issues. When there are growths or warts on your cervix it causes pain. My boyfriend is very large as well, and it hurts in certain positions as well, I've been checked out, but gyno tells me that it is becuase he might be bruising my cervix when we are using a postion that allows deep penitration. the slower he goes the better too. Tell him wahts going on with you, if he is a nice guy he will understnad and will be more careful. think of it this way, alot of women envy people like us for having a man that is blessed. ;)

- Response by Authenticity, A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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talk to him about penis reduction lol. or just buy lots of ky jelly.

- Response by motherof12006, A Cool Mom, Female, 26-28, Who Cares?

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It is a serious problem. I know, I have a big penis and the fact is that it just doesn't fit many women.

And there is no way to make it smaller.

Nor is there much of a way to make your vagina larger.

Rumor has it that you will adapt, but in my experience there is not much hope of that happening on a permanent basis. Lube (ky jelly, etc) helps a little if you are just two tight and he is too big around. But stretching your vagina is not that comfortable.

And for too long, the only thing you can do is use positions that require a lot of penis to work at all. Like keep you legs flat on the bed. This will require him to sort of use an inch or two to get around the corner to your vagina.

And tell him that he is too long, and he needs to be careful. He was probably hoping that his big penis would be of some benefit but that is not the case. Too much is just too much.

Anyway, if you tell him that he cannot ever get all the way in and that he has to be careful, if he loves you he will try. You might keep a hand down on your clitoris (either yours or his) so that he cannot get all the way down.

Another option is for you to be on the top. Then you control the speed and the depth. You can slowly ease yourself onto and down his penis. It will hurt less if you go down really slowly.

Otherwise, there is not much to offer. Just be careful and don't hurt each other.



- Response by welloone, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 66 or older, Retired

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after u do him awhile u will stretch out and it will be fine with him but if u go back to smaller guys u will not feel as much

- Response by bigcurt, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Pittsburgh, Self-Employed

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I am much older than you, but had the same problem recently. What you need to do is go to a gynecologist and have them examine you to make sure there is not any problem there. Then you need to ask them for a vaginal dialator,(starting with a small size and working your way to a larger size). This method worked like a charm for me. Good luck to you.

Using a Vaginal Dilator

A vaginal dilator is a cylinder or tube, most often made of plastic or rubber, used to "dilate" or stretch out the vagina. Dilators also help women learn to relax the vaginal muscles. Dilators come in many forms.

Vaginal dilators are often used after radiation to the pelvis, cervix, or vagina.

Your doctor may suggest a certain way to use the dilator. The usual way to go about it, however, is as follows:

1. Lubricate the dilator with a water-based gel.

2. Lie down on your bed at a time when you know you will have at least 15 minutes of privacy. Gently and slowly slip the dilator into your vagina. If your vagina feels tight, hold the dilator still while you tense and relax your vaginal muscles.

3. When your vagina feels looser, push the dilator further in. You may need to repeat the squeezing and relaxing a few times before the dilator is fully inserted. Some women also find it helpful to bear down, pushing their vaginal muscles outward as if having a bowel movement.

4. When the dilator is in as far as possible, leave it in your vagina for about 10 minutes. You can pass the time by reading, watching TV, or even talking on the phone. If the dilator slips out, gently push it more deeply into your vagina.

5. When you remove it, wash it with a mild soap and water. Be sure to rinse all the soap off so no film is left to irritate your vagina the next time you use the dilator.

A woman is often given one dilator of the size needed to fit her vagina. If she is trying to overcome pain, however, or needs to stretch out a vagina that is too small, she may use a series of dilators. She can start with one about the size of a finger and slowly go to larger models until her vagina is large enough to allow a man's penis to enter without pain.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?

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