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Boyfriend wants to become a nurse?
Dating / 10:21 AM - Sunday July 25, 2010

Boyfriend wants to become a nurse?

My boyfriend has told me that he's thinking of going into the nursing field. I have felt that why can't he do something else. I find it weird that he wants to become a nurse it's mostly a women career. You don't see women become firemen. I feel like that movie Meet the parents with the nurse. So this week we were out for dinner and he met a friend and introduced him to me. The guy asked him so what are you going to do he said I'ma become a nurse. I felt so weird when he said that I couldn't even look at him I was embarassed. When the guy left he told me would you still date me if I was a nurse and I just smiled and didn't say anything. I really don't like for him to be a nurse I find it weird and I'm embarassed by it. You see guys always becoming something else like engineers or manly things no he wants to become a nurse when he has so many options. I know I'm not his parent or anything but I don't see myself with a nurse guy.I don't know how anyone else knows how it feels. If you do please let me know. Someone Help?

- Asked by An Alternative Girl, Female, 26-28

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Some people really love the medical field. They just have it in them.
Going to school to be a doctor takes so much out of you and ends up taking about 20 years once your out of school to pay back the loans.

Also the nurses are the ones that have the one on one with the patients. They do a lot of difficult paperwork and really have to be quite smart.

I understand what your saying and that it seems weird to you.
Would you feel weird if he was an Emergency Medical Tech and worked for the fire dept? That is very similar to the same job. The only way it is differnet is the pay is half.

Its a great way to go for any man or woman. I live in California and there are a lot more Male nurses. I think it takes time to used to. Just let him be who he wants to be and try not to think about it so hard and maybe it will grow on you. It's just a good job where you have one on one with patients , working in surgery and patient care.
The pay is good and he can take it anywhere.

It may not be what you like, but try to be open minded.

My daughter's boyfriend was going to be a fireman. He started into the program and then decided to change to a parametic, then while doing that he changed again to nursing and he loves it.

- Response by lovesgoldens, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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You sound painfully ignorant.

- Response by clearlybrooklyn, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, New York, Who Cares?

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Community Rating: Community Star

Please break up with this guy. You are much too shallow to have such a guy. When you love a man it doesn't matter what he does for a living you should be proud of him. You will never be happy feeling as you do so move on to someone else.

- Response by lacey07, A Life of the Party, Female, Who Cares?, Other Profession

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Yep, it's a field largely associated with women. So it's basically the same as guys who say they want to become fashion designers or "flight attendants" (when everyone knows they mean "stewardesses"). It doesn't mean that guys can't do the job -- clearly, since some of the biggest names in fashion, for example, are men -- but it's still pretty off-putting.

If it's a deal-breaker, then it's a deal-breaker. Sounds like you want a guy who is more traditional.

- Response by istillhatescrennames, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 66 or older

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Your preconceived notions of gender roles aside, registered nurses can make anywhere between $50,000 to $120,000 dollars are year, plus within 10 years there will be a shortage of 1 million nurses that are needed. If he does it, there will be no shortage of work for him.

- Response by damon8r351, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 29-35, Norfolk

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Wow, are you prejudice and you stereotype. Many men become nurses because they want to help people, yet either don't have what it take to become a doctor or don't want to invest all the time it takes to become a doctor. His nursing skills would also allow him to be an EMT.

So, since it is below your standard for him to become a nurse, you need to be honest and upfront with him and tell him it is a job you feel is beneath you, regardless if you are just dating or if you had been in this relationship long enough that marriage was in your future plans. And then you need to realize you have unrealistic and reasonable standards for the type of jobs men SHOULD have. Further, it shows you are superficial and judgmental. If you really "liked" and "loved" this guy, his career as a nurse wouldn't matter. It is a respectable career choice that can give many lots of satisfaction. Sorry that you're stuck on the stereotype that was portrayed in the movie Meet The Parents, which was the point in the movie.

Lastly, it is your issue that you're embarrassed, ashamed and cast judgment on him for no reason other than your prejudice and stereotyping mindset. If there is one thing you ever do in your life, it is to be honest with yourself and be honest with him. End the relationship since you judge him so harshly and then when looking for the next guy, given your unreasonable standards, screen the potential b/f with your list of what jobs are manly and what are not so you can eliminate him so you don't break his heart unnecessarily.

And I say this as I do so you can see how ridiculous your train of thought on this is. Good luck

- Response by msadvise, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Transportation

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Oh my my my my my
I am baffeled
I think you should break things off with your boyfriend now because
being embarassed because of your boyfriend for any life choice mean you
are not relationship ready .
I admire his choice. The schooling is difficult . Men are so needed on the floor ,just as important as the female presence.
I have worked with many male nurses and I so appreciated having them , it is a nice balance

Sorry that you are so caught in a box and I hope that you fill find more dimention in your life.
Woman are firemen , if is not about gender it is about who can do the job and most importantly who wants to do the job . Especially in the human service feild.

- Response by morningdust, A Creative, Female, 56-65, Self-Employed

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With all due respect, the only help I can suggest for you is to, please end your relationship with this man. You really do not deserve him. Seriously, why does what he choose as a career bother you so much? This is his life. And, there are male nurses. Who cares what anyone else thinks? Why be embarrassed? What's with the "feminine/masculine" job distinguishing? This indicates that you do not support this man. You are not in his corner. You share a laugh with a guy that is making a joke about your guy becoming a nurse? He did that because he could sense that you were uneasy and embarrassed about it. Otherwise, he would have thought you might have been offended by his joke. So, even he knew you weren't supportive. The fact that your guy didn't flinch at revealing his desire to become a nurse to another man, shows his strength. He obviously didn't care what he thought either. This is your man, sweetie! You should be encouraging him and supporting him.

You should be accepting him for who he is and helping him be the best he can be in whatever is dear to his heart. He was sharing a part of his desires and goals with the woman he loves. And, look at your reaction! Being in patient care is a form of dedication to care for and serve others. And, that in itself is a nice characteristic to have. You are hung up on the prestige of "a type" of career your man has. Because, you believe this will reflect on YOU as a person. And, that is a shame. Why don't you concern yourself with the career or life you want? Instead of, what other people will think of what your man chose to do, or living through his life. I really hope he ends up with someone else mature, sincere, and supporting. You might need to rethink why you're even in this relationship with him. Because, you did not mention one time about your love or respect for this man. You're young. I hope you mature in this area of your life. The fact that this man desires to attend college and work period should be good enough. Who cares what that profession is? What does anyone have to help you with? His decision has absolutely nothing to do with you. And, it's definitely not a problem to be solved.

- Response by thelovedovefor1, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Atlanta, Who Cares?

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It seems quite a hell for you. Do this guy a favor and GTFO of his life.

- Response by chkdsskt, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35, Administrative

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I am in agreement with everyone here, you are shallow and ignorant, and he can do better,
Some of the BEST Nurses that I know are men. They are kind and make good money.
I hope you get half a brain cell. You aren't a good girlfriend.

- Response by roaminginsomniac, An Alternative Girl, Female, 46-55, Law Enforcement

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The truth is that a lot of male nurses are gay, and your guy is hetero. You're disturbed that his choice of profession is less than manly. That's for you to get over, not him, and if you can't, then you need to let him go to someone who admires him for who he is. Because there are fewer males in nursing, the career opportunities are very good for them. It's a stable profession with a growing need, so there is no way that a nurse that wants to work will be unemployed over the next 50 years.
Best wishes.

- Response by stoney07, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 66 or older, Who Cares?

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I think nursing is a very rewarding and noble profession. While I don't know any male nurses personally, my mother works in a care facility and while female nurses and nursing assistants outnumber the male ones, they do have a visible presence in the field.

This is obviously your hang up and not his, so maybe you should re-evaluate your relationship and whether or not you can be with a man who wants to be a nurse.

- Response by angeluscado, A Creative, Female, 29-35, Administrative

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Are you quite comfortable in your bliss?

- Response by seductivepisces9, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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My mom and her husbands are nurses. And I can assure you my moms husband is good at what he does. He's actually back at school furthering his career with it. Before this he used to work as a firefighter.

You seem to be very close-minded and ignorant. But that's ok because I think almost everyone who responded educated you on this. I was like you too a long time ago. I also thought male nurses were a bit odd. But I'm used to the idea of it now and for the most part I see no problem with it. And to be honest, taking care of sick/hurt people is a lot more impressive than working on computers or cars. Your man could possibly help save another humans life, what isn't great about that? You shouldn't be embarassed, you should feel proud of him and honored to be such a great man.

I hope you re-consider everything you wrote and realize men can be nurses. If you keep up this nurse-man hating attitude though I'd suggest you leave your boyfriend. He deserves someone who will accept this great career he's choosing to enter. Id love it if my boyfriend was a nurse! It probably means he's kinda hearted with a gentle soul. Can I have him? lol

- Response by pinkjoy25, A Thinker, Female, 26-28

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that's a great career..the Nursing field needs more bf is studying Nursing as well..

- Response by le_gem735713, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Miami, Who Cares?

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I have had male nurses, and they were just as good and attentive as female nurses. He wants to be in the medical field, but probably doesn't want to go to school for eight years or more.
It sounds like you are attracted to men in more macho occupations. And he should be able to pick what vocation he wants for himself without feeling badly about it.
He must sense your reaction, because he already asked you if you would date him if he becomes a nurse. It seems the only answer is for you to find someone else you are more suited to--if he pursues this line of work. Best wishes to you.

- Response by dreamdancer, A Creative, Female, 36-45, Houston, Other Profession

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Wow, your boyfriend has a desire to work in a respectable field doing hard work that everyone in society needs. He wants to help people. This is a honorable and respectable field. I can't really comprehend your position that it is not manly. There are a lot of men in the nursing field.

If your boyfriend embarrasses you then you should turn him loose and let a women who respects and appreciates him have a chance. I think he would be better off.

- Response by A Sweet Sarah, Female, 46-55, Tampa, Food Service

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Oh get of it already. So what he wants to become a nurse. He is going into a job that actually does more for the patients then the doctors do. And if it werent' for nurses medicine would fall apart. Some of the best nurses I have ever had were male. Nurses can also make DAMN good money. It isn't a mostly female career anymore.

You should really cut him loose he derserves better than some little child who can't get past childish 1950's sterotypes. Good luck in life with your manly man trades. LMAO....

- Response by bellabyrdie, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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You do realize that... before about 1940... pretty much ALL work fields were filled by men right? So, in the last 60 years... women have spread out to every area of the workforce. Do you want to go back to the kitchen and tending to the children? If not... a man has an absolute right to be in any career field a woman can be in... and you should keep your sexist opinions to yourself. FACT: Engineers, business, construction and many other "manly" fields are laying off like crazy right now. FACT: The nursing field is expected to continue growing, and often male nurses actually currently make more than female nurses because they are so rare in the field. Good for your guy to pick a long term, good paying career field to get into. Pretty much the only mistake I see him making is dating a moron... but, that can be easily corrected. There are plenty of women out there who won't mind the stigma of dating a guy making $60k a year for working 3 days a week. Grow up barbie.

- Response by horsepowerjunky, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 29-35

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If I were a big politician farmers and nurses would be my favourite people,

- Response by duggers, A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older

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Women need to get out of all the male professions like... teaching, doctors, lawyers, engineers, the military, politics etc... "I don't think I could date a woman who was in a man's field". Oh wait... that's right... women have the right to EQUALITY. I guess in your view men lost that somewhere along the line since you don't think they have the right to be a nurse. Hell, in a lot of countries, women CURRENTLY don't even have the right to go to school. Perhapse you should move there. Sexism works both ways little girl. I believe in my daughter's right to be ANYTHING she wants to be... and if I have a son, I believe in his right to be ANYTHING he wants to be... even if there are bigots like you still running around.

- Response by eequalsmcsquared, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 29-35, Medical / Dental

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Nursing is not an all female field! There are lots of areas in nursing that men are a lot more successful than women. During KATRINA I met lots of gentlemen who were nurses and their job was not feminine at all! And by the way I know many firewomen, policewomen, women soldiers.

- Response by spring151, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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Wow, I have never actually met someone who thought this way. Especially now in this generation. I guess things really do carry on. I really respect the women out there, who take a stand against people like yourself and put their foot down and say, "you know what, I'm going to be a fireman." (well woman) Who cares if your boyfriend wants to become a nurse, if he's passionate about it then why are you so embarrassed, you should be happy. Men and women are able to do what ever they want now. Men don't have to stick to more 'manly' jobs and women don't have to work behind a desk all the time, or stay at home and clean up after their husbands. Things have changed. And if you're not willing to accept that then maybe you're not right for him.

- Response by mel01234, A Creative, Female, 22-25, Toronto, Medical / Dental

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How I look at anyone who goes into nursing both male and female is that they want to make a difference. They want to help others.... That's a good thing isn't it.

We all tick differently. I think if that's something he feels gifted in then you should support him. Do you really want him going into a profession he hates just because it's deemed macho??

- Response by hands, A Creative, Male, 46-55, Hong Kong, Who Cares?

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Obviously you don't love this man. If you did, you'd support him in whatever career he chose.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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With all due respect, this is 21st Century and not the 19th. Isn't it time for all of us to get over the antiquated notion that anatomy is destiny and that certain occupations are only suited to people of one gender?

For your information, people in the nursing profession have excellent career prospects right now because the health care industry was employing fewer registered nurses in the 80's and 90's in order to cut costs -- but found themselves with a shortage over the past few years because the decreased demand meant fewer people went into the profession, with the result that many experienced registered nurses are in retirement. Not only is nursing a fairly well-paid and recession-proof career these days, it requires someone who has a great deal of concern for others. Take it from someone with nearly two decades on you, dear...a man with a caring heart and who's secure enough in his own masculinity to enter a traditionally feminine profession actually has a great deal more to offer a woman in the long run than a man who depends on other people's outdated ideas of what it means to be masculine, believe me!

Your boyfriend is the only one who can live his life, which means that it's ultimately his prerogative to decide how it should be lived and not yours -- if you can't accept it, that's your problem and not his. If you aren't willing to accept him and love him just the way he is, then it seems fairly clear that the two of you aren't right for each other.

- Response by giginyc, An Alternative Girl, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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He's not weird, he's smart.

Nursing is an excellent profession to be in right now-good pay, benefits, vacation leave and it's easy for a nurse to get hired. It's even more easy for a male nurse to get hired because men are in demand in women-dominated fields.

- Response by soccerchica, A Creative, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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You really should break up with him.

You would be doing him a favor and you need some serious introspection and maturing before you are ready to be in a serious relationship with anyone.

Your mindset is that of a fourteen year old boy. Congrats.

- Response by vabyss, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Who Cares?

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male nurse, what will they think of next. next thing you know, there will be a black president, women cops and women in the military.
btw, "you dont see women firefights"? where do you live, Cuba?

you should leave him, go find yourself a mans man, like Sandra Bullock did.

- Response by mtusa007, A Rebel, Male, 56-65, Self-Employed

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I am good friends with a Male Nurse. He looks like a mirror image of Sylvester Stallone, quite a big guy. I've never thought twice about his job - it never struck me as odd and still doesn't.

It is a smart move in my mind, there is going to be a need to nurses now that the boomers are coming of age. He is guarenteed work, and well paying work.

- Response by A Creative, Male, 29-35

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You don't deserve this guy. Help would be to leave him. Otherwise, if I'm wrong, and you love the hell out of him, stand beside him and give him the encouragement that is most becoming. G'day. Smiles. :)

- Response by mortaune, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35, Student

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What is wrong with you? Nursing is a great proffession with a great potential income. Smarten up before you lose him.

- Response by itsbeenalongtime, A Player, Male, 46-55, Who Cares?

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wow, TWO of the most "manly" guys I know are nurses.

One was an Army Ranger and medic, he's now a surgical nurse and making GREAT $$; the other was a paramedic for 15 years, and after 9-11, he re-upped to the USMC and after a couple years took his tax free $$ and went to nursing school (as a prequel to "physician's assistant" school), but has been working as a nurse for the last few years.

Nursing is a HUGE, diverse and vital field. As an "alternative girl," I'd hope you be more supportive of his non-traditional career choice and even cheer him on for it... Only you know how manly or un-manly he really is and no one else cares anyway.

If you can't handle it, I'm sure that any number of his future female colleagues would have NO PROBLEM with it. ;-)

- Response by A Career Man, Male, 36-45

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Biggest mistake: Stereotyping

There is a HUUUUUUGE difference between firefighter and nurse. I mean huge. Firefighters face, well, fires. Nurses don't go in and extinguish fires. Maybe he doesn't want to risk his neck and wants to think of providing for a future family's needs?

Ever consider maybe he wants to become a nurse to help people without the grueling years needed that would be required for the degree (and training) needed to become a doctor. Nursing isn't just about gender, its the desire to want to ease the pain. Nurses are there to "help the patient in the absence of the doctor". If you're embarrassed about it, I feel sorry for you. You missed the point of his reasoning entirely. If he has no shame about it, and he shouldn't, then why feel embarrassed? Its not your life, its his. Nursing is a rewarding (and stressful) career.

FYI: Not all men want to be engineers, firefighters,welders,me chanics,etc etc that's labeled as "Men Only". Get the mind out of the shallow end and look at it in a broad prospective. Its either that or don't date him anymore because with your attitude toward it, it would only cause strife.

- Response by authorgirl, A Married Girl, Female, 29-35, Student

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When my father was dying of cancer he had several male nurses and aides and intimated to me that although the ladies were just as competent he felt more comfortable with the men because he no longer felt any embarrassment regarding some of the care taking and grooming they did for him. He felt it a personal evasion to have strange women working on him at times. It is biased to believe that men can't be nurses, teachers, designers, florists or any other thing they are drawn to....just as there are female cops and firepeople...yes darlin there are female firepeople...sorry to burst your bubble of traditional values.
Nusing pays well. It's demanding and requires someone able to engage what is now very technical material and retain it. They often are the primary caregiver while the doc just lends the sign off on the work done...the doc oversee's the treatment another words.
The only thing you really should be embarassed about is your own lack of encouragement and support towards someone you presume to love. That means there isn't the emotional intimacy here that you claim to have.

- Response by joybird, A Hippie Chick, Female, 22-25, Who Cares?

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just like the rest of them, get over yourself. if you dont like his career choice then go find yourself a real man, one that beats you and makes you feel like shit.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 26-28

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I believe this is an honorable field and find it hard to believe that you don't think this kind of work is fine for a man to do. Have you seen what they pay Nurses? It's good work. I think you need to check yourself on this one. Some men won't work and your hung up on what it looks like? I'm surprised to hear this. Women do fight fires. Reverse discrimination.

- Response by A Cool Mom, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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There is nothing gender-specific about nursing. Plus, the money is still green and he could find a job anywhere.

- Response by boggob, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35, Political / Government

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And who says Florida girls are painfully shallow? Oh wait, pretty much everyone.

- Response by A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55, Technical

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Don't let your pride get in the way.A nurse makes good money and will always have work.And now a days you can do any profession you want.If you were to check out how many females are firemen, truck driver construction work, etc. now days,it just might surprise you.I would be proud of my boyfriend if that is what he wants to do.At least he has a good goal in life. :)

- Response by roanna, A Hippie Chick, Female, 56-65, Self-Employed

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If you can't deal with it, break up with him and let him find someone who can.

Nurses make very good money and it takes a special person to dedicate themself to caring for others. It's no more weird for a male to be a nurse than it is for a woman to be a cop.

- Response by waitinggirl22, A Thinker, Female, Who Cares?, Los Angeles

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Nurses are really in demand right now and they make decent money...maybe you can encourage him to become a physician assistant..they have to become nurses first and then it takes over a year to get the credentials to become one..and they make a pretty good living..

- Response by michellekia, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, St.Louis, Financial / Banking

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Well, I know many guys who are in nursing school. Well, then again I don't live in the US. But think about it, it's just another Health career. There are many male paramedics, and if you think about it, well, it's kind of similar. Just because he's not gonna be a doctor doesn't mean it's not manly.

Oh, and I know many girls who're firefighters too. Genders don't dictate someone's career path. In the end, you have to choose whether you can live with it or not, and what is more important to you. If he wants to be a nurse and it makes him happy, well, so be it!

- Response by indecisivefreak, An Alternative Girl, Female, 26-28, Santiago

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Male nurses are so needed! They put both male and female patients at ease. The ones I've met have been a nice combination of "matter of fact" and gentle. He will always have job security!
what's REALLY wrong here is that the term "Nurse" is so associated with females. If we re-named the job - "personal medical attendant" or "medic" or something, men would flock to the profession.

- Response by monana, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 56-65, Who Cares?

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What part of the 1950's did you come from? Your views are pathetically ignorant and shallow. Nursing is a very rewarding and noble career, no matter the gender.
Now get off the computer go back in the kitchen and do some womens work.....

- Response by singledad281, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Houston, Hospitality

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just like the rest of them, get over yourself. if you dont like his career choice then go find yourself a real man, one that beats you and makes you feel like shit.

- Response by A Thinker, Female, 26-28

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Yeah ... I went from a professional Ski Patroller to an EMT to working in an Emergency Department and now I'm in nursing school. The majority of my friends, male and female, are nurses. I have been told by several female nurses with 25+ years of experience that one in particular, a male nurse (or Murse, if you will), is the single best nurse they have ever seen. And I don't know a single female nurse that doesn't LOVE the fact that guys don't bring any more estrogen with them to work :) especially in a field that is far closer to Doctors than most people realize. Nurses are not the maids or servants to the Doctors that they were or were viewed as in the past. Healthcare in the 21st century is a team approach. Doctors, Nurses, and many others are all playing in the same game ... the Quarterback doesn't get to do much if he doesn't have a good team around him.

Across the profession, nursing is currently around 15-20% males, so while certainly the minority, it is by no means a women's job (And for the record, I know and have worked with many female firefighters, engineers, etc). If you want to step into an Emergency Department or an Intensive Care Unit, you're very apt to find 40-50% male nurses.

And finally, I agree with the other answers. Dump this guy before you allow him to waste one more minute of his time with a shallow, ignorant bitch such as yourself. My girlfriend loves that I'm (going to be) a nurse - before I had even met her parents her mom called to see if she was with me so she could ask me a question about her father's symptoms after a recent surgery.

Oh, and when you dump your boyfriend, be sure to tell him that he's a badass and is making a great choice, and that you're simply too retarded to handle it :)

- Response by A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35

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