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What happens when you refuse your husband sex?
Sex & Intimacy / 6:41 PM - Friday July 23, 2010

what happens when you refuse your husband sex?

Last night and this morning I still did not feel like it, and bad timing that he had a day off to whine all day about it. He is sulking, refusing to do anything I ask him, and before i left the house to study in peace at the uni library, he was lying on his back on the bed muttering to himself. can you share what happens to you? Do u think my husband is childish?

Update: July 23, 2010.
He knows I take care of him on a regular basis (not daily)..but he 's been long enough with me to understand that when i'm under stress to meet a school deadline, sex is the last thing on my mind! He knows this, he is just the first man i've been with, to have such an appetite...and it's not my fault..

- Asked by bbperfume, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Administrative

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The only thing I would worry about is if you are using sex as method of control and power... maybe even subconsciously... by using the word "childish" I think you are diminishing how your husband feels... he has been rejected and I am wondering if you care?... I'm not saying have sex anytime... but I am saying you want to be careful how you approach intimacy with a partner because if you send signals that you do not wish to connect with them you could be inadvertently pushing them away and you could be starting the demise of your marriage... Since your commitment level says who cares we could be entering a time when you need to both re-evaluate your commitment to each other.. if you don't prioritize your marriage it has a funny way of disintegrating... You could tell your husband that he needs to understand that you are under some pressure right now with school and that you didn't have the energy... that you know it probably hurt his feelings but it isn't that you don't want him, but that your mind was elsewhere.. then you REALLY need to have a discussion with each other about needs, wants, desires, and priorities and you need to express commitment to each other and connect... sex is an important ingredient in any relationship and especially in a marriage... His reaction is not mature, but he is reacting in a way to get attention because he feels he is not getting it... you guys really gotta talk... good luck..

- Response by timeforanoverhaul, A Father Figure, Male, 36-45, Managerial

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Pizzatroll is a complete idiot. I mean, yeah you're husband is being a big baby but is "I didn't feel like it" really a reason to deny him sex twice especially when you guys are in the house together all day long? If it were me I would have boned my guy until he was sick of it, if we had the day off together.

Also... when you "don't feel like it" just try kissing him for 5 minutes. You'll be surprised how quickly you do feel like it.

On the rare occasion that I'm not into having sex at that exact moment, kissing him for a few minutes more than does the trick, but his kisses are incredibly intoxicating and I really can't manage myself after a few seconds.

- Response by sweetness04, A Trendsetter, Female, 26-28, Artist / Musician / Writer

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Okay, so he's whining like a kid that can't get his favorite toy. Well, you're his favorite toy. Unless you want this to be a lifetime source of friction, it's best to talk it out. Who wants what, when and why? What compromises can be made? Trade offs? Talk is essential, unless you two have already established sex as part of your personal warfare.

- Response by stoney07, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 66 or older, Who Cares?

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Yeh I think he's childish...but if you love him and want a favorable relationship don't let him go too long without. If you get out of the habit it's hard to get back into.

- Response by joybird, A Creative, Female, Who Cares?, Therapist

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He sounds like a big baby. You are human...not a robot...if you don't want don't want it. I am sure there are times when HE doesn't want it.

Right now it sounds like school is your it should be for will be over soon then you can get back to other things.

- Response by scooper, A Sportif, Female, 46-55, Dallas, Who Cares?

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Hubby is just feeling slighted; you've chosen school over his needs. He will grow out of this. Or you could say something like: "Not until exams are over."

- Response by betterbird, A Creative, Male, 46-55, San Francisco, Administrative

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I have never told my husband "NO" to sex. If I'm really not in the mood, I just enjoy it, and give lots of oral, and make him com sooner than he would like.

- Response by chrissyapple83, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45

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He needs some lovin' anyway..maybe a quick bj of hj if you're not in the mood lots of room to compromise!! It's probably a good subject for you two to thoroughly disciss though; maybe you can come to a workable solution!!

- Response by mrwondering11, A Creative, Male, Who Cares?, Portland, Managerial

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Most will just go get it somewhere else

- Response by bigcurt, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Pittsburgh, Self-Employed

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do you jump everytime he wants to screw you.
bet he has times when he does not want sex.
get him out of the house to mow the lawn; rake the yard and get some of that pent up energy relieved.

- Response by amandasboy, A Father Figure, Male, 66 or older, Atlanta, Retired

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i think YOU are the childish one. he WILL have sex whether you are there or not. don't YOU want that to be with YOU? if so, then take care of your man. otherwise, you may lose him.

- Response by pizzatroll, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Science / Engineering

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