My husband pulled my nighty up while I was sleeping and he masturbated. Does that seem wrong?
Firstly, I should say we have been in something of a sexual dry spell. Just been busy lately, with schedules that temporarily don't coordinate well. So, when one of us is ready for intimacy, the other is tired. But I;m not worried about that. I think it's situational and will be fine once our schedules ease up.
I am also totally fine with him masturbating. I masturbate myself even. However, something about him doing it right next to me and removing my clothes while I slept (and doing it quietly/sneakily) makes me feel a little violated. It's weird. I'd be totally cool with just about anything sexually, but something about this make me feel a little upset. While he was doing it, I felt so shocked and uncomfortable (and tired) that while it woke me up, I pretended to remain asleep. Now I'm trying to figure out how to bring it up with him. I also feel a little bad that I didn't let him know I was awake.
Update: July 19, 2010.
Thank you all who have responded. In response to those inquiring whether I'd rather him masturbate to porn, I say "yes" if it is while I am sleeping. I don't mind him looking at porn. I don't mind him looking at me either. In fact, it's great that looking at my body can still help get him off! The part that bothers me is along the lines of joybird's comment, I think. That is- being asleep, I was unable to participate/consent. Something about that bothers me, eventhough I'd gladly participate awake. Anyhow, in response to one of the others- this is NOT my biggest problem (nor the world's). However, it was something I thought others would be able to help me with and think about differently. So, for all of you who really did think about it and provided some food for though, thanks a lot! It's not a big deal- more weird. Both in that it happened and that it bothered me. Thanks again!
- Asked by Female, 36-45