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How and when do you know to cut out a toxic relationship with a family member?
Family & Parenting / 3:53 PM - Friday July 16, 2010

How and when do you know to cut out a toxic relationship with a family member?

My Mother-in-law has borderline personality disorder and gave my husband a terrible childhood. She can sometimes be kind while also manipulative. There does not appear to be a strong sense of respect coming from her. She sees the world though a narrow scope, is intensely negative and is becoming toxic for our relationship.
When and how do you say enough is enough? I am not used to family strife, its stressful.

- Asked by An Alternative Girl, Female, 36-45, Self-Employed

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All relationships either contribute to or detract from the quality of your life.

Any relationship that detracts from the quality of the one life you have to live, needs to be ended.

- Response by siouxzen, A Career Woman, Female, Who Cares?, Los Angeles, Self-Employed

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You could try by only seeing her on occasion or holidays. The longer you stay away from her, the less toxic the atmosphere.

Allow your husband to see her ALONE so there's no blame of estrangement between her, her son and an argument with you. Allow her to see the grandchildren (if you have children) and find Urgent Matters to Take Care Of when you're supposed to get together...let him take the kids to see HER and you kick back and watch something relaxing on T.V. More ways to skin a cat than just one. Be creative...

- Response by pushkins, A Thinker, Female, 66 or older, Miami, Who Cares?

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Community Rating: Community Star

What qualifies you to diagnose your MIL?

- Response by A Rebel, Male, 46-55

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Level with her! Tell her she has no right to behave tht way, and she'd better knock it off.

Right now, I'm having issues with a certain relative. I've reached my breaking point. If I ever get the chance, I'll move away, and never let him into my house again. I don't care what happens. If that's what it takes to knock some sense into him, so be it.

- Response by thundermist04167, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55, Who Cares?

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She needs your Husband... she's sick and he's her son

- Response by boxer1, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55, Self-Employed

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Crazy mothers can be cut off anytime your husband will do it. She's lucky he's not looking for revenge.

- Response by greenwind, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Construction

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