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How do you help and comfort someone who has lost everything?
Friendship / 11:10 AM - Friday July 09, 2010

How do you help and comfort someone who has lost everything?

How do you help someone who has lost everything from their home, the love of their life/soulmate (left her for another woman who he felt was better than her on every level), her best friend in the whole world, her career aspects (just learned it's not gonna happen and never will so she has nothing else), no job, everything.

How do you help and comfort someone who has lost Everything all at Once?

- Asked by Female, 29-35

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It's about being there. Whenever I comfort a friend through a rough patch it's not about saying anything to them. It's about being available to talk if they want to. I find it the worst thing when a person keeps asking, "so how are you doing?" Remember when you have had those rough patches yourself, at first all the concern is nice to know and after a while it becomes really annoying. Like stop asking so I don;t have to keep lying about how I'm doing fine. My (blank) just died and the quickest way to end the conversation I have already had 50 times with other people is to say "I'm fine."

If they want to talk they will, if they don't and you prod them you are just helping to suppress what should naturally come out.

- Response by 7zebras, A Career Man, Male, 36-45, New York, Financial / Banking

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Some times it's better when you hit rock bottom. Cause you start fresh and you got nothing to hold you back. Nothing to anticipate. Or fear of losing.

If it's a friend of yours, stay close to them but dont let them develop a dependancy relation. Instead try to get them involved with new stuff, job hunting etc. Do they have family? Time to get closer.

It's easy to get trapped in depression. Instead, they should just jump on the bull. You'd be amazed what kind of survivors people are. They just need a kick.

Also remind them that people go through situations like that every day, every minute. If anything, go through A/O postings.. Might wanna tell them to join us here.

- Response by secilia, An Alternative Girl, Female, 29-35, Athens, Body Work

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The best comfort of all is to be there for them when they need you to be.

It is the next best thing to gaining magical powers and getting them all of their belongings back. =-)


- Response by cutypy5840, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Medical / Dental

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wow... im sorry 2 hear. Just pray for them and let God handle the rest, 'cuz all you can do at this point.

- Response by babbina, A Career Woman, Female, 29-35, New York, Self-Employed

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take her out drinking and buy the first round. give her a week to have herself a pitty party. get drunk with her every night during this time. if she hasn't "snapped" out it with in a week and is still feeling sorry for herself and isn't doing anything to "get on" with her life, thats when you either cut her off or start berating her and telling her what loser she is and it just goes to show that she probably deserved to lose it all becuase she's so pathetic and you can't believe you hadn't realized this before and are now wondering why you're even friends with her, because before you know it she's gonna start bringing you down. at this point you suggest that you guys go get drunk again ...at least this is how I help and comfort someone.

- Response by guy5432, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 36-45, New York, Who Cares?

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love them the best you can and support them in every way possible...not doing everything for them.

- Response by amandasboy, A Father Figure, Male, Who Cares?, Other Profession

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