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Active Questions

Is it OK for a married guy to have lunch with female friends?
Married Life / 10:55 PM - Wednesday July 07, 2010

Is it OK for a married guy to have lunch with female friends?

I always communicate better with female then male friends. It is easier to talk to women then men. Is it alright to have female friends (married or single)to hang out and go to lunch with?

- Asked by jasonny, A Guy Critical, Male, 36-45

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Not necessarily. But it is a bad sign. I bet you consider yourself a nice guy- Being helpful, friendly with women, thinking of others, being respectful towards women, not into sports, etc.

This is a dangerous combination of traits and will likely lead to relationship problems for you later.

Think hard about how you show up in your marriage. I bet you'll find some issues there. I bet your wife is not crazy about your friendships.

Get some male friends. We don't bite - most days.

- Response by kopfjaeger, A Career Man, Male, 46-55

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My fiance has about an equal number of male and female friends. I don't care who he has lunch with--as long as it was a good lunch and he enjoyed himself. :)

- Response by electragold21, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, New York, Teaching

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why not u are not a prisoner

- Response by bigcurt, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Pittsburgh, Self-Employed

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Yes and the same goes for your wife going out with male coworkers. Friends and coworkers are just that, regardless of their sex.

- Response by A Married Girl, Female, 36-45, Los Angeles, Other Profession

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I find nothing wrong with it as long as your wife can go out with her male friends too. My man doesn't mind and I let him know about my lunches with male friends.

- Response by hulagirl55, A Sportif, Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

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Yes of course it is, where in the marriage vows does it say you mustn't talk to the opposite sex!

Enjoy your lunches ;)

- Response by heatherjune123, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, London, Who Cares?

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Yes it is perfectly acceptable on a few conditions. Obviously your wife should know - if you feel like you have to hide it, it's probably not a good idea. Usually one on one lunches with female friends aren't a good idea either, but you use the plural term "friends" so I assume that's not the case here. Also, you should be okay with her having lunch with male friends if she chooses to do so. If you're not okay with that, then you shouldn't be able to do the equivalent.

- Response by lizarella, An Alternative Girl, Female, 26-28

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Of course it's OK. If your wife loves you for you then she should know that your friendships come along with the deal, male or female. If she can't understand that, then she should look elsewhere. Perhaps find someone that shares her insecurities. Then the can both jump at shadows together.

- Response by 1man4commonsense, A Career Man, Male, 36-45, Who Cares?

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I feel like I get alone better with male friends also. Women are just too complicated for me. You never know what they think. And they cause a lot of trouble for me. If your wife is ok with it, then I don't see a problem.

- Response by sexyvioletta, A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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My husband has been free to have lunch with females ever since we met. He always told me about it until he met one to cheat with. That is when the lies began. At that point I realized that I had given up all my male friends due to his jealousy but because I am not a jealous person I had never cared if he had female friends. Now however it is a different story. He cheated and I no longer can trust him. If he is upfront and honest and I know the women, I still have no problem with it but as soon as I feel that there is not full disclosure, I have a problem with it. Always be honest and keep the communication real. And remember - omission (what she doesn't know won't hurt her) will ultimately hurt her. Also, never ever say anything negative about your wife to your female friends - never!!

- Response by A Sweet Sarah, Female, 56-65

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If your wife knows about it & won't make your life hell, it's okay

- Response by melmac, A Thinker, Female, 36-45

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Since we all know that men ultimately have sex with every woman they have lunch with, no man should ever have lunch with any woman once he is married.


- Response by chessplayer, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Administrative

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Hey lunch is lunch, nothing wrong with that. Just don't flirt.

- Response by tartenon, A Guy Critical, Male, 36-45, Self-Employed

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