First, I sympathize with what you're feeling and going through right now. It's not easy losing your job, not having friends, and feeling like no one cares. But, you're praying to God for the wrong thing and for the wrong reason. I can tell you that nothing you're saying to yourself or believing about God will bring you the life you desire. You'll have to snap out of the funk. I know it feels like you can't or you never will. But, that's not true. There is an evil spirit that is just overjoyed that you're feeling like you are. And, would love nothing more than for you to end your life. But, you have to fight! You have to know that everyday that you're alive is another day to do whatever you can to change your situation.
First, you need to apply for unemployment benefits. Do research and find out all of the resources, charity, or benefits you are qualified to received. Then, you need to apply for or accept any job you can get, until you get one comparable to what you had. At least, this will give you something to focus your mind on, instead of this sadness. Then, you sit down and write what you want out of your life. You find out through research and networking how you can get these things. That's what you work on. You start socializing. Even if, at first you're doing thing by yourself. You can go out to dinner, to poetry readings, jazz concerts, museums, plays, movies, tour bus trips, by yourself. You can volunteer for charity and community work, work on projects like habitat for humanity, volunteer to help impoverished countries to take supplies.
Take a course in something you've always been interested in but never took the time to do. Like, dancing, a cooking class, or a home improvement class at home depot. They have classes on laying down flooring. Believe me, don't worry about people feeling sorry for you. You'd be taking control of your life and not sitting around waiting or depending on others to make your life what you want it to be or to make you happy. In doing these things, you will meet people just like yourself. That's how you establish friendships and meet other interesting people. As long as you stay safe. If you're praying to God, that means you believe in a God. And, if that's true, you must know that if you believe no one else cares about you, He does. And, that care is not determined by how much of what WE want God gives us.
Sometimes, when you spend your life dependent on others for your existence or happiness, these things are taken away so that you can see the power and strength you truly possess. Believe me, there were many times I thought I couldn't take anymore. But, I've always made it through. I've felt that God wasn't there. I felt alone, even with people in my life that truly cared about me. And, I've spent time depressed and pitying myself. I stopped, when I realized that wasn't who I truly was. I was vibrant and loved life. I didn't want to die really. It is only when you believe there is not hope left that you want to die. It's when you believe that things will never change no matter what. And, that simply isn't true. Life isn't easy for everybody. Some have to go through everything the hard way.
But, if YOU love YOU and YOUR LIFE; YOU have to realize that you have to fight. Not this pity-party you have going for yourself that will just sink you deeper and deeper into the abyss of misery, fear, anger, and pain. You are the only one that can make your life what you want it to be. Sorry, but God isn't going to make everything easy for you. That's not what believing in God is about. Even, your own parents say no sometimes. That doesn't mean they don't love you or want the best for you. Good luck.
- Response by thelovedovefor1
, A Creative, Female, 46-55, Atlanta, Who Cares?