Thank you for your many years of support. We want to share the news with you that after much consideration, will cease operations in its present format on October 15th. We appreciate your meaningful contributions over the years.
Back to Home

Active Questions

I'm short and sick of women looking down at me
Dating / 6:17 PM - Wednesday June 30, 2010

I'm short and sick of women looking down at me

Why do women (of the same height or shorter) have no interest in me? Every other part of my life, parts I can control such as career, car, house, body shape are all up to scratch, I can't help I'm short.

I never let people know I feel like this, I pretend it doesn't bother me when my friends joke, but it kills me inside.

I feel it hold me back from talking to women. Women aways approach my friends, never me. I try to act confidant but only end up with female friends, which I'm happy for but I want more.

All my ex's were friends before I dated them, I want to date from the beginning not 6 months after being friends and hearing all about your past relationships!

I'm 5'4", athletic build, dress well, and although I'm no Brad Pitt I'm a good looking guy.

So why women are short guys such a turn off?

- Asked by A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, Who Cares?, Science / Engineering

Read more about the Rating System

Im a short girl, 5'2, and I really like short guys! I like being on the same-ish height level. When I date tall guys I always have to somehow be on a step or sitting or do something way to creative everytime I want to kiss him or look him in the eye. Its a pain. And it hurts my neck. Can't be great for his back.

There are a group of girls out there that love that short guys. You'll find one.

As far as the jokes go- look at it this way. Thats all that they can find to make fun of you for? Theres no other characteristic or feature that they can pick out as a "weakness" and your height is the only thing they can pull out? That says something good about you. Take it as a compliment.

- Response by A Sweet Sarah, Female, 26-28, Other Profession

Rating Received:

Short guys aren't a turn off. Short guys who have a complex about being short are a turn off. If you're not able to laugh at yourself, nobody is going to want to deal with you. 5'4 is NOT the end of the world.

- Response by lizarella, An Alternative Girl, Female, 26-28

Rating Received:

Community Rating: Community Star

Don't worry about it. In the end the short guys get the best girls, so long as they don't have small man syndrome of course. BTW don't judge all women based on a few bad experiences, it will show in your confidence and that could be your challenge.

- Response by kalicalendar16, A Hippie Chick, Female, 29-35

Rating Received:

If you have exes, it means that at some time you had s/o or girlfriends. So not all women are turned off by your height. Now, do these other women actually tell you that it's all about your short stature? Or is that just your conclusion? Because maybe, just maybe, it's something else, you know?

But what's so bad about being friends first? There's no shame in being patient and making sure you really get along with the other person. And do you really believe that avoiding the "friends first" stage will immunize you from hearing about past relationships? That'll come up regardless of status.

You appear to have had successes before. So just do what you do and you'll enjoy the successes you've had before.

- Response by mikehug, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Cleveland

Rating Received:

I dunno. My oldest son is only 5'2" and always had a ton a beautiful babes chasing him until he married the cream of the crop -- a gorgeous intelligent kind lady who stands 5'10".

It's all in your attitude and how you treat women, would be my guess.

- Response by utahmom, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Managerial

Rating Received:

For as long as you FEEL that it bothers you others will feel it too and judge you because that's the vibes you send out.

I dated a guy who was the same height as me which I must admit was unusual for me and he was super confident which was very attractive. He earned good money and was successful in his job and drove a reasonably good car and was great in bed which again comes from confidence.

The reason we parted was because of his extreme selfishness and constant lies - it had turned me off so much.

He was also not well educated and didn't even want to learn anything, he was racist, sexist and had a big chip on his shoudre and rubbished anyone and anything which showed me that in reality he was insecure.

I felt cheated because I really liked him at first and believed the good guy persona he projected at first
His height was never a deciding factor in anything

- Response by rubyrednotdead, A Creative, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

Rating Received:

maybe start considering midgets

- Response by bigcurt, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Pittsburgh, Self-Employed

Rating Received:

let your personality shine through regardless of your height issues..i'm sure if a girl likes your personality she won't care about your height.

- Response by le_gem735713, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Miami, Who Cares?

Rating Received:

They are not a turnoff. You just haven't found the right woman who will accept you for the person you are not because of your physical features. My guy is only 5'6 and although he isn't my ideal type when it comes to height..everything else is so wonderful about him that the fact that he is shorter then I'm used to isn't an issue.

- Response by phenomenal1woman, A Thinker, Female, 46-55, Chicago

Rating Received:

The only thing that bothers me about men at all is when they are insecure, whether it's insecurity about career, looks, height, intelligence, whatever. Insecure men always take their issues out on other people and I don't want to be the one standing there when stuff hits the fan for them.

Short men need to OWN it. They need to be secure. Then I will like them, regardless of height.

- Response by A Player, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

Rating Received:

At 5'4" you will have to work 20 times harder to compete with a guy who is 5'10". Basically it would be almost impossible to compete unless a significant percentage of those 5'10" guys were horrid ass clowns.

My advice: Don't waste your time pursuing any woman 5'5" or higher. Work hard at being the type of person you want to be. Remove the expectation for more than conversation so you can build experience being at ease and talking with women.

- Response by A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55, Technical

Rating Received:

I have a massive crush on a guy shorter than me and I'm not that tall. He is good looking, intelligent and funny. I could care less that he's shorter than me. Find ways to be with women where they can get to know you instead of pre-judging you first. I met this guy at work.

- Response by A Married Girl, Female, 36-45, Los Angeles, Other Profession

Rating Received:

I prefer shorter guys... always have.

I am happily taken and my boyfirend is kind of tall (he likes when he gets the taller end of his range), but I'd be completely fine if he were shorter. I fit right into his chest, so it works out very well. Heh.

I am only 5 foot even, so it has always bothered me that guys LOVE to be tall.

Not that I hated it that some of my exes were tall, but I really don't get the appeal. I liked them for their other traits, not their height.

Just look for someone with similar views and you'll be good-to-go! =-)

- Response by cutypy5840, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Medical / Dental

Rating Received:

im 5'9 1/2 and i love short guys ive only talked to one guy that was taller than me and he is a short guys arent a turn off for me.

- Response by unbreakablesilence, A Married Girl, Female, 29-35, Student

Rating Received:

I think that in general, women are attracted to men who are taller than them because it makes them feel feminine and dainty. It doesn't necessarily take height to make a woman feel this way though, think about it. If you can make a woman feel feminine and dainty in your presence, she will love you for it.

- Response by jeezydeezy22, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 36-45, Los Angeles, Consulting

Rating Received:

I don't think it's really a preference that a man should be a certain height but unfortunately, some women like tall men because it makes them feel safe and protected when/if the guy is tall...what I would do if I were you, is not let it bother you because I know plenty of women who don't care about height and are more concerned with the man's heart than his proud that you are who you are and KNOW that no matter what, you will find that one woman who is your everything and who loves you for your heart and not your height...:)

- Response by fastball, A Cool Mom, Female, 36-45, Edmonton, Self-Employed

Rating Received:

Get a step ladder!!!
or High Heals!!!

- Response by movi, A Guy Critical, Male, 56-65, Administrative

Rating Received:

I'm the type of women that prefers short men at 5'2. I like being portioned to my man. However, I would like him to be atleast your height just so if I wear heals, I wont' be taller. And I'm the type that's not really attracted to a tall man. I've dated one and it was just wierd to me. I know there are women shorter than me that like their men tall. Like I know someone who's 4'7 and only dates them tall. WTF? But not all women prefer it.

- Response by bts4life20, A Trendsetter, Female, 26-28, Self-Employed

Rating Received:

It isnt that you are short (petite) it is how you project yourself. If you are confident every girl will soon over you. But if you have the attitute of low self-esteem girls will run the other way. Robert Redford (from my generation) was short but every girl wanted him. I dated a guy who was shorter than me - he was your height and I am 5'6". However, he wanted to move to the West Coast and I love NYC and my family is here.

Height has nothing to do with it at all - it is how you perceive yourself.

And I bet there are many girls wishing/praying that you ask them out.

- Response by lover454, An Engaged Girl, Female, 56-65

Rating Received:

I can't speak for anyone else, but I'm willing to overlook a *lot* if the guy is charming. Charm, sense of humor, and treating a lady right trump looks any day. There was a senior chief on my last ship who was very short. I'm 5'6" and I towered over him. But he was pretty good looking, though, and he could be very charming. It's not height that's a turn off, it's how one acts.

- Response by STGchick, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Military

Rating Received:

Get some stilks or put some extra padding under your shoes.
I would not mind looking up to a taller woman as long we can get along together and have fun together and communicate

- Response by amandasboy, A Father Figure, Male, 66 or older, Atlanta, Retired

Rating Received:

please do not pay any attention to what richsifu has written. his personal pain and bitterness comes across loud and clear in his writting. not all women want a man that is 5'10 or taller.

i think some of your exsperiences with women have been negative because you are attracted to the wrong woman. that may be more because if intimacy issues than height issues.

- Response by darchie, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Chicago

Rating Received:

darchie.. whether I have personal pain or not does not invalidate anything I say. Another stupid line of 'female' so called reasoning is that when a man is saying negative things about a woman, he's only saying it out of typical for a woman to always equate everything to emotion instead of facts and reality.

Just because most women say negative things out of emotion doesn't mean men operate the same way. Women hate it when men know how they really work and they assume that if a man is speaking negatives it's only from hurt and thus nothing he says is true. This is another typical reason why women almost never learn anything because you always find reasons to invalidate anything that reveals negative traits in your own character with stupid excuses like "he's just angry".

What does it matter? If a someone get pissed because they burned their hand on the stove and now goes around warning people to be careful about that hot stove.. does that mean the stove it not really a danger or hot?? No of course not.. Does that mean that person is ONLY saying that because he's "mad at the stove?" Of course not. So you can clearly see (I hope) how stupid that line of thinking is, yet you use the same thinking to invalidate anytime a man speaks the negative truth about most women!! How ridiculous.

- Response by richsifu, A Rebel, Male, 46-55, Science / Engineering

Rating Received:

Why? Because at 5'4 I would tower over you and I like my man to be able to protect me if need be.


- Response by fanny500, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Financial / Banking

Rating Received:

Wow, 5'4"? No thanks... I want a MAN.

- Response by A Trendsetter, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

Rating Received: