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My boyfriend wont put "In a Relationship" as his status
Dating / 1:43 PM - Tuesday June 29, 2010

My boyfriend wont put "In a Relationship" as his status

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year now. Things are good, but there is something that has always continued to bother me -- he refuses to acknowledge our relationship on online. First his profile said he was single for months and then when I asked him to change it, he hid it instead and said that "It doesn't look professional". I still don't know how to take it. I understand his point of view, but we live in a long distance relationship and it just makes it harder for me to trust his "intentions".

- Asked by A Thinker, Female, 26-28, New York

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Don't be silly.

You already know what the deal is. Never ignore your intuition. It ends badly every time.

- Response by vabyss, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Who Cares?

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Community Rating: Community Star

Unless he uses the site you are referring to mostly for business connections, and not for social networking, his excuse is nonsense and you are his secret.

- Response by maryea, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Retired

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My boyfriend won't give me a title. He says he does not do them. We are togther 4-6 days a week....But we have only been dating a few months.

You are right to not be OK with this. Its even MORE important that he ackknowledge the relationship being that its LD. I don't have my status set to "in a relationship" but I have him by my side so I don't need to really.....

- Response by thekissbandit, A Thinker, Female, 29-35

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Everything he tells you is a cop out regarding keeping it single, especially if you are in a good long distance relationship. Single, as lame as it is, does open a different can of worms online, with regard to your intentions. Anyone that might feel interested will feel more inclined to email, rather than if it said "in a relationship", etc.

Quite frankly, it's ridiculous and it should bother you.

- Response by doubledare, A Creative, Male, 36-45, Artist / Musician / Writer

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Is your relationship defined by the status on his FB? If not, why are you stressing about it. FB doesnt make the relationship the 2 people in it do.

- Response by handsomedetroitguy, A Father Figure, Male, 36-45, Detroit, Political / Government

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If he had it as blank originally he might have an argument.
Single vs in a relationship are same level of professionalism.

if it was early in the relationship, he might have an argument.
If you hadn't asked him to, he might have an argument that he forgot.

But It's up to you, this is a red flag. You could force the issue.

- Response by jjcabin, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Washington, DC, Technical

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If he is on a site that ASKS users to STATE their relationship status (e.g. he's ALREADY mentioning his relationship status, he's saying he's single), then it is absolute bull that he can't say he's taken due to *professional* reasons. If it were the case that his private life should be a nonissue on this site, then he wouldn't have to mention that he's single in the first place.

He must think you're really silly and gullible to have given you such an obvious bad excuse. :/

- Response by electragold21, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, New York, Teaching

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if he won't mention he's in a relationship online then in real life he's probably doing the same..

- Response by le_gem735713, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, Miami, Who Cares?

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Then I wouldn't be lookin for him to 'put a ring on it' anytime soon either.

- Response by jezmebaby, A Hippie Chick, Female, 46-55, Los Angeles, Self-Employed

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All due respect, it's FACEBOOK! An online program! If you're going to be upset about something, be upset about a lack of commitment to you, or a lack of connection, or a lack of feeling, or the feeling that he's cheating. Facebook?! Really?

My wife, one day about a year after we were married, went looking at my old (and when I say old, I mean it was about 9 years old) AOL profile page that said I was single. She made a joke about it and I corrected it the next day. To me, it wasn't a big deal. However, unless this guy you're dating is some kind of rock-god or hip-hop mogul where the appearance of being single attracts more teeny-bopper idiots who scream about wanting to marry their favorite-of-the-week singers, then there's nothing unprofessional about it. And this is coming from a career professional! Most places would rather see someone in a long-term committed relationship because it shows stability and willingness to work on difficult things.

- Response by doom2ruler, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35, Technical

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personally, i'm proud to change my status when i'm w/a man that i love. and i would be really hurt if he didn't do the same. i mean, is he off limits, or what??

- Response by isotope, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, Science / Engineering

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