|Sex & Intimacy / 11:53 PM - Tuesday June 22, 2010|
he wants a baby before marriage i want marriage before baby what to do?
so my boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and we started having a conversation about what we want for our future. We both thought 25 was a good age to want to have a baby. What we didn't agree on was to marry or not to marry. He believes that we don't have to be married ; which i find ridiculous. My question is "why take that step to have a baby and not want to marry the mother if you love them both so much?' His first reason was; he doesn't want to be tied down at that age maybe later in our 30s we can get married. Then i said "technically you are tied down you have a baby and i would be living with you; WHY NOT MARRY WHEN YOUR PRACTICALLY LIVING OUT THE ROLES?". That he got angry and said it was because i don't trust him, by marrying him i'm trying to lock him in i guess. We would be living together, raising a child but just not married. My side of the story is I live with my adoring grandparents and have never known my real mother. I promised myself that my child would a have a stable environment to grow up in. Most of my family members (cousins and uncles and aunts) were mostly raised by one parent (mostly women) due to the men leaving or having alcohol problems. So for me i want to get away from this curse that seems to follow the women in my family. Another thing is I am catholic. I believe a child should not be born out of wedlock (like i was). My bf's argument was that even if we did get married he could do the same thing all those men did to my female family members;he could become an alcoholic, he could cheat he could walk away the only difference is he has a wedding ring on his finger, which i agree with:nothing is going to stop him from walking out the door even if we were to marry. But to me its about morals to him it seems he doesn't want to lose his young adulthood. But you want to have a baby and not lose your party all night young adulthood? sounds stupid to me. I feel if he's ready to have a baby with me he's read to marry but obviously he doesn't think the same way. So what do you think fellow Answerologist do you think it doesn't matter if you have a piece of paper and a ring? Or should i follow the way i was brought up and kick him to the curve before this relationship can even reach that point?
- Asked by Female, 18-21
If you want to know the truth about why your boyfriend wants to have the baby BEFORE you get married, this is why: