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Stubborn men and their ego. Fixable?
Dating / 12:27 AM - Tuesday June 22, 2010

Stubborn men and their ego. Fixable?

Here's the problem:
I'm always wrong he's always right. Sine we're both Capricorns we're both stubborn, but I let him win because if I don't it's just war

He talks to me the way he would talk to his boys (he's 22)

He does immature things, but i try not to let it bother me because he's still young

He doesn't chase me; he makes me chase him, he will not be the one to say sorry, he cannot be convinced, he makes me run after him even if he's wrong

If we're in a fight, he will never call. If i call , he ignores me 1st 5 times at least.

I can't go out without him being mad and seeking revenge. He claims I always seek for revenge which is not true.

He can kiss me next to his friends and make a sweet comment, but most times he treats me like i'm his boy

He's not romantic, doesn't buy me gifts or flowers only V-day


We've been dating for 2 years, both 22, but it's like I can't be a girl and cry and have him hug me. Instead, he tells me "stop whining"

I feel like a rag, my self esteem is at 0 while his is sky high. what's wrong here? How can this stubborn man be fixed?

- Asked by theresza, A Thinker, Female, 26-28, Consulting

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What's there to fix? Why should he change?
He has you right where he wants you, and you're not doing anything to change YOU.

- Response by chesterdad, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 66 or older, San Francisco

Rating Received:

Are you kidding? Why should he let himself be "fixed"??? He's got an idiot who says "How high?" every time he yells "JUMP!"

Nobody can change another person unless that person WANTS to change. A better question is "Why have you wasted 2 years of your precious life with someone who treats you like shit?"

- Response by justpassingthru, A Thinker, Female, 56-65, Financial / Banking

Rating Received:

Community Rating: Community Star

Honestly? Dump this guy. He's making you miserable and he won't change.

Don't waste more years with a jerk. I wasted 5 with my ex. DON'T BE LIKE ME!

- Response by A Player, Female, 26-28, Who Cares?

Rating Received:

Babe, you don't have a man, you have a punk.

You need to leave him and his candy azz to the males who can use him as he best deserves to be used and get yourself a real man. Cos that punk is never going to change.

- Response by electragold21, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, New York, Teaching

Rating Received:

You 2 may as well get married for all this misery... Good Luck!

- Response by fehkarfight, A Couch Potato, Male, 56-65, Who Cares?

Rating Received:

Of course he can change, everybody can. But he probably wont. It seems to me that he is happy with the way the relationship is working. I can understand why you are upset. And honestly, I think it is time to move on. It's not that he is a bad guy, it's just that he is not for you. You are obviously unhappy with the way he treats you. And it's not fair to him for you to ask him to change. And it's not fair to you to be treated in a way you dislike. If the things you told me about really bother you. End it now. If you want to give it one last shot, be really open with him and as humbly and nicely as you can, tell him how you feel. Don't say "you don't do this" or "you do this" try the I message approach. I know, it's pretty elementary, but people tend to get less defensive when you talk about problems in the first person. For example, "so-n-so* (enter name here) it makes me feel undervalued when fill in the blank. Or however you want to approach it, as long as you are not accusing it wont be your fault if you get into an argument. Do you know what I am saying? You need to be really upfront about how these problems are affecting you. If he gets angry, or is unwilling to compromise or work with you. Just end it. He clearly doesn't want to do what you think is needful to keep you around. So move on to someone who will treat you like a person, not a doormat. Another issue to consider is that maybe he can feel that you are trying to "fix" him. Generally speaking, people don't like to feel like a project, or something that is broken. People want to be loved for who they are, not who they could be. Are you with him because you love the idea of him, or because you actually love him. Or let me ask it this way. What if he never changes. Are you willing to accept him as he is now? If not, he probably isn't the guy for you. Good luck. I hope that helps.

- Response by timidwanton, A Creative, Female, 22-25

Rating Received:

Jezus, one of your respondent's definitions of *a real man* fits the description of a hunk of rock, with the exception of the fact that the ROCK would always be hard.

You can tell which category this respondent fits into. Hint: It's not that of "real men." ;)

- Response by electragold21, A Thinker, Female, 29-35, New York, Teaching

Rating Received:

It is rare when one can fix themselves. It is rarer still when one can 'fix' someone else. And if one does succeed in fixing someone else, usually a lot is lost in the conversion.

People like this are immature and as long as they have reinforcement from friends and buds, they will maintain such an attitude for life.

- Response by rekkonball, A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older, Retired

Rating Received:

The short answer and sad reality is, its time for you to move on if you want someone decent...... As long as you allow him to drive the bus, your self esteem will remain Zero.

- Response by singledad281, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Houston, Hospitality

Rating Received:

Seems to me like you are just letting him walk all over you, he has complete control in the relationship at this point. If you are not letting yourself have a speaking part in the relationship and just let him continue like this, then he's going to know it is ok to keep doing so and he'll never change. It's really up to you if you want to stay in a one-seided relationship like this, i see three choices here; you can either let him continue and stay miserable, try to talk to him about how you're feeling about the relationship so you can both try to fix it, or you can both go your seperate ways.

- Response by onecuriosity, A Sweet Sarah, Female, 22-25, Student

Rating Received:

If it feels wrong, walk away. Or you'll wind up divorced in 10 years. People don't change. If you can't handle who he is now, move on or you'll be miserable. Never enter a relationship expecting to change someone. It's not working. A man should never ever make you feel like a 0. If he does, he's not worth sticking around for. You're better than that. Let him find someone else to kick around.

- Response by mariposa555, A Thinker, Female, 36-45, New York

Rating Received:

Dump him but quick, this moment. He is immature and will never Change

- Response by duggers, A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older

Rating Received: