how long should you wait after marriage before trying to have children?
We got married april of this year, and we both want to get on the road to starting our family. My husband is getting deployed october 2011, and I want him to be there for our baby, and he wants to be here too. so we've desided to wait until her returns home, which is reasonable.
however after talking to my mother about our decision my mom jumped down my throat and told me that I should wait even longer, at least 5 years to make sure we "stayed" together, and I was like mom, we could be married 27 years have 3 or so kids and still end up getting divorced... it's not going to matter if end up staying together 5 even 10 years... at 15 years we could still end up getting divorced.
I don't understand how my mom doesn't understand this, I mean it's logical, and reasonable, right? how do I deal with this? and how long would you wait after getting married to start having children?
Update: June 20, 2010.
What I was really asking is how do i deal with my mother on the subject? she doesn't want us having kids for at least 5 years, weather we're ready or not. she's convinced that he's going to leave me once we have kids, which doesn't make any sence seeing as he's the one to usually bring it up. but she believes this b/c his father cheated and left his mother after she had him and his brother... "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree" she says, but she's never met his father, neither have i and I don't intend to. so what is her problem?
Update: June 20, 2010.
to all those who replied, thank you. and we are finacially stable for those who brought that up, and I did say that we were waiting until after he got back from his deployment. We've been through one deployment together already, and we've been married to eachother emotionally and mentle for 2 years before we actually got married on paper.
so if you will we've been married to eachother for about 2 and a half years now, and we're both ready to have a child, and want one, but as I've said we plan to wait until he returns home, and even after that it will be another year before we start trying so my husband has time to adjust. thank you.
- Asked by An Engaged Girl, Female, 22-25, Self-Employed